Friend of the Devil
by belladonnacullen
Summary: Sometimes loving all the wrong things feels so right. Sometimes up is down and black is white. Sometimes it doesn't matter. Sometimes it does. Sometimes the most important thing is love. Who am I kidding - the most important thing is always love. Companion piece to Hades, A Love Story - Sort of by FictionFreak95. MA, ExB (kind of), most definitely AU.
1. The Kiss

**Chapter 1 - The Kiss**

I have to start this story with the kiss. The kiss of a good-natured stalker. Of an uptight weirdo. Of a rumored bipolar sociopath. Of the most beautiful man I've ever laid eyes on. The kiss that may have very possibly sealed my fate. I saw it coming. I stood there, frozen like a deer in headlights, and all my newfound instincts for self-preservation vanished as his eyes locked with mine. The chill in the bar intensified by a million until it felt like burning ice was creeping through my veins.

He held me: my hand, my hip, then cupped my cheek. He was gentle, like I was something precious he was afraid he might break, yet I sensed urgency in the tension of his muscles. I felt the same need. I wanted this kiss more than anything I could remember in years I was unwilling to count. So I stood there - stuck, cold, and happy - as he lowered his lips to mine. With that simple touch, lips to lips, the ice that had been rushing through my veins shattered and I felt like I was bursting into millions of frosty and fiery shards. White light flashed beneath my eyelids, and I reached out and clung to Edward Cullen for support.

Edward held on too. He grabbed my hoodie, hitching it slightly, and his fingertips brushed my lower back. It was okay. It was better than okay. _I _was okay and I was exploding from the inside out. So I pressed my lips against his, because despite all the rumors, despite all of my misgivings, I was pretty sure the world was wrong about Edward Cullen.

xXxXx

Five days ago I couldn't have imagined that kiss. I don't make a habit of kissing men in bars. I don't make a habit of going to bars at all. Life is generally better out in the light of day where you can appreciate all your senses. But five days ago, my next-door neighbor, Angela, was celebrating the launch of her new website, and she planned on taking everyone from her office out to celebrate.

"Come on Bella," she begged. "For me?" She dramatically clutched her hands in front of her and batted her big, brown eyes. She held her breath.

When it came down to it, her offer was more interesting than what I had planned for the night: a glass of wine and a new order for a real estate logo on Fiverr.

"You need a designated driver?" I asked.

Angela shrugged. "We'll take a ride share."

"Not anymore," I replied. "Someone's got to keep an eye on you." It's always better when you have friends to watch your back. There are some things you live and learn.

"Yay!" Angela squealed, pulling me in for a hug. "Can you get ready in a hurry?" she asked, stepping back and looking me over.

"What do you mean? I just need my keys."

Angela raised an eyebrow. "This is Brick and Mortar, Bella. We want them to, um, let us in."

I rolled my eyes, but marched back to my bedroom. I was up for something interesting; something just a little out of the ordinary on a sleepy Saturday night. I wasn't going out and looking for attention. Angela was right, though. It would suck if I got stuck waiting in the car while everyone else was inside the bar. I switched out my baggy concert T for a midnight blue camisole that shimmered a little, like a starry sky. I pulled my hair from its messy ponytail and ran a brush through it. I applied a little lip gloss, some mascara, fixed a smile on my face, and grabbed a hoodie to hide underneath, if I got the chance.

Half an hour later, I stood back and watched as we waited in a line behind a black velvet rope. I watched Angela with stars strung in her eyes as she gushed about her website and her plans for the future. I watched Rachel pick over Rebecca's artfully disheveled bun. I listened to Jessica's story about the elusive, gorgeous entrepreneur that owned Brick and Mortar. I watched Emily's face contort in disgust, like she'd just chugged spoiled milk.

"Have you heard the stories?" Emily asked. I almost expected her to spit in order to get rid of the rotten taste in her mouth.

Jessica shrugged and adjusted her high waisted hot pants. "I can get freaky."

"There's freaky and there's pathological, Jess."

"Isn't he a shut-in?" Rebecca piped in.

"If shut-ins have sex dungeons," Jess replied with a wink.

Emily rolled her eyes. Jess shook her head and hip-checked Emily. "Weirdo," Emily snorted.

"Prude," Jess shot back.

"Who's prude?" the bouncer asked.

Each of us turned to see a tall wall of muscle and man standing between our group and the entrance to the bar.

"I.D.'s?" he asked with a wicked grin. "And if one of you isn't named Prude, I'll know they're fake."

Jessica's face went red as a beet. Emily sputtered, trying to come up with an explanation about her parents and her real, legal, god-given name. I shook my head, stepped forward, and motioned for the big guy to dip his head to my level. A chill ran down my spine as he sidled up next to me, and I shoved my arms into my hoodie.

"I can't go by Prude without the Feds turning up and raiding the place," I hissed. "It's in your best interest to keep this knowledge on the down low. You dig?" I looked deep into the bouncer's amber eyes and raised my brows in what I hoped was a dramatic, knowing manner.

The big guy fixed his eyes on me as he slowly stood back to his full height. A grin slowly spread across his face. His chest shook as he looked me over from head to toe. The booming laughter came seconds later.

"Get the hell in there," he said, unfastening the velvet rope for us. Somehow it sounded welcoming instead of threatening.

xXxXx

For all the hoopla, Brick and Mortar was pretty standard. Dim lights glowed from corners and wove intricate patterns over the dance floor. Music pulsed like a heartbeat and people unconsciously swayed where they stood, drawn into a unified mood of giddy exuberance. Patrons crowded three deep around the bar trying to shout out orders, passing sticky glasses, tossing back amber liquid. The place was incredibly cold, though, and I zipped my hoodie, glad I'd had the forethought to bring it along.

Angela was out on the dance floor with her crew, celebrating together, happily surrounded by friends. They laughed and shimmied, throwing arms over shoulders, swinging hips, and holding one another upright. As the designated driver, I'd somehow also ended up as designated purse-holder. I lurched from one corner to the other, trying to keep the purses pushed over my shoulders and the water in my glass instead of splashed across my chest.

Finally, I spotted someone stumbling off a stool at the very end of the bar, right by a back exit. Three of us spotted it at once. I took a quick glance at my competition: a middle-aged woman in a black dress and heels, and a tall, skinny college kid wearing sagging skinny jeans. For a breath we sized one another up, then the race was on. I bobbed and weaved my way across the dance floor, willing the purses to propel me forward with their swinging weight. I laughed as I raced to the music, stepping to the beat, angling around couples, twirling through troupes.

The woman was stopped short by a strong arm. Her date held her as he handed off his empty pint glass. The tall kid was closing in, though. No way was he beating me. On a whim, I shot sideways, angling to come at the stool from the other side of the bar, laughing at this ridiculous game. I twirled around two people - all legs and hands and lips - then spun around the corner of the bar and stopped short as I was nearly trampled by an angry man. A very meticulously well-dressed, very good looking, very angry man.

"Watch the… Fuck!" he spat, screwing his eyes closed and shaking his head like he was trying to dislodge something from between his ears.

"I could say the same to you, buddy," I replied, somewhat deflated. Tall kid won the race. He spotted me looking in his direction and tipped his baseball cap. I couldn't help but giggle while I tried to catch my breath.

"Do you really need all those handbags?" the man in front of me inexplicably demanded.

"Oh," I mumbled. In all the excitement, I'd almost forgotten. I pushed them back over my shoulders, counting to myself to make sure I hadn't lost anyone's bag. Once my hands were free, I glanced back up at the guy who'd almost run me down. While everyone else in the bar seemed as enthusiastic and cheerful as the pulsating music in the air around us, this man looked like he was in pain. He stared past me at the exit.

"Designated driver," I tried to explain with jazz hands and a smile. "Yay!"

The man's eyes calmly raked over me liked he was taking an inventory. Glad for my oversized hoodie, I stuffed my hands deep into the pockets. I was about to mumble something or other and get the heck out of his way, when the man's mouth opened in a silent scream and he clutched the sides of his head.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Before I knew it, he was on his knees in front of me.

"Woah, buddy, do you need something? Um, I can get some help. Wait here! Okay? I'll be right back."

I rushed toward the entrance, this time running against the beat, all games abandoned. At first, the big guy by the front door smiled when he saw me, but he quickly sensed something was off.

"Someone's sick!" I shouted over the music. "Someone collapsed at the end of the bar, by the back door. It seems pretty bad."

When we came crashing into the dim space, the crowd parted like they were the Red Sea and the bouncer was Moses. We sailed through and I led the way, right across the dance floor and around the corner of the bar until we were there: me, the bouncer, and the tall kid on the last stool. The well-dressed, angry, incapacitated man who'd crumbled to the floor in front of me was gone without a trace.

"Nice one, Prude," the bouncer grumbled as he stalked away.

"He was right here." I sighed. I shook my head. How could he have disappeared when minutes ago he couldn't even walk?

"Hey, yo," someone hissed. I looked up to see the skinny kid nodding my way. "You want a seat? My buddies are headed out. You earned it." He tipped his cap again.

I took the stool gratefully, piling all the purses in front of me. Before long, the bartender offered me a free drink, but I settled on another glass of ice water. I kept glancing back at the spot on the floor where the man had fallen, wondering if I'd somehow made him up. Sometimes my mind played tricks on me, but usually I conjured up people from my past, not complete strangers.

xXxXx

It's hard to believe that was only five days ago. Really, _everything's_ been so hard to believe, like when Edward turned up at my elbow moments later, as if nothing in the world was wrong. Like when he happened to be walking through the park the next morning, or when I found him squeezing melons in the same high-end grocery store where I was Instacart shopping.

This should have frightened me, but there was something different about Edward, and that's putting it mildly. Edward wasn't just another persistent guy who couldn't take a hint. He was unrelenting in the same way the tide insists on moving up the beach twice a day, or the way the sun insists on rising each morning. He was there like air was there, like the ground under my feet. And when he kissed me, I'd never felt more sure that I was here too. I fell into the kiss with a sigh, as what little that remained of my defenses fell away.

Edward's lips parted. His arms enveloped me. His hands clutched. And then his body stiffened, and he pulled back.

xXxXx

_A/N: One of my oldest & dearest friends in the fandom pulled me out of my fanfiction funk and asked me to write along with her. Go check out Hades, a Love Story - Sort Of by FictionFreak95. She's been writing from EPOV (sort of), while I write from BPOV. We'll be updating on Fridays and having fun doing it. Thanks to Sue for her betamazingness & to Jo for the inspiration. This doesn't mean I've given up on It Never Goes Out. It means I'm writing again. It's a good sign. Peace ~M_


	2. The Doubt

**Chapter 2 - The Doubt**

Five days ago, Edward Cullen collapsed in front of me and disappeared. Of course, I didn't know he was Edward Cullen then. If I had, I would have steered clear when he materialized at my side, tossing back tequila.

"What was that?" I asked instead, looking from him to the floor where he'd fallen.

"What was _what_?" He raised an eyebrow and glanced around warily, like he was searching out some kind of threat. Once the coast was clear, he waved a finger in front of me like it could convince me he hadn't just fallen to his knees and vanished. He was no Jedi, though. I wasn't fooled.

"Seriously, are you okay?"

"It was nothing. Can I get you another?" he asked, nodding at my empty glass.

I laughed. "Another water? Sure. Don't try to change the subject, though. I've seen 'nothing', buddy. _That_ wasn't nothing."

He regarded me coolly. "I might say the same of you."

"What?"

The man looked me over slowly from head to toe. The temperature seemed to drop by about twenty degrees, and I wrapped my arms around myself. "You are most certainly something," he murmured, his eyes burning.

I shivered and tried to find my footing to slip off my stool and put a healthy amount of space between us, but I didn't seem capable of basic bodily functions. For instance, I suddenly had to remind myself to breathe.

"Why do you keep calling me 'buddy'?" he asked.

Laughter bubbled up from my throat. "Because I don't know your name."

"Fair enough," he murmured, before he went back to studying his drink.

Once his attention was elsewhere, I was miraculously able to move. I swiveled in my seat and spotted my friends out on the dance floor. Jess and Rebecca were teasing some guy and loving every minute of it, while Angela and Rachel were in one another's arms. Meanwhile, Emily was busting out hip hop moves while a whole crowd had gathered around her, clapping and cheering.

"So, you purposefully go out with these… _people?"_ the guy next to me asked.

I coughed on my water. "Well, not all of them, and only sometimes. I'm really only good friends with one of them."

I heard the guy sigh and I snuck a glance. He looked kind of sad. It might seem silly, but I got the impression this wasn't a typical Saturday night for either of us, and maybe, sometimes, we both wished it could be. Or maybe I was projecting. Or maybe it was water intoxication. Buddy, my water patron, seemed like had something else to say, but whenever he opened his mouth, he'd shake his head a little like he'd thought better of it and would reach for a drink instead.

I might have ignored him if the music didn't shift, if a song as random as the two of us didn't suddenly swell from the speakers. I would have known those first chords anywhere. They may as well have been part of my DNA. It brought back countless late-night car rides with Mom, windows down, singing at the top of our lungs as the desert passed us by. This song didn't belong in Brick and Mortar on a Saturday night either.

I grabbed the guy's hand. "Do you want to dance?"

He did not want to dance. It seemed unlikely he even wanted to move a muscle.

"Please say yes. I love this song so much."

He didn't say yes. He didn't meet my eyes. But I blinked and we were on the dance floor facing one another. At least, that's how I remember it. It couldn't have really happened that way. The man stood motionless, his hands at his sides as violet-hued lights twirled, and couples swayed all around us. He watched me like he couldn't figure me out, like he wanted to.

"You don't smile much, do you?" I asked as I gingerly slipped my hands around his waist. It was like he'd never danced before. He slowly brought his hands to my hips, tentatively touching, then hissed like he'd burned himself against the cotton weave of my hoodie. My partner showed no inclination to take the lead, so I began gently rocking. Slowly, note by note, like ice melting, he relaxed and began to sway.

I let out a sigh and closed my eyes as I leaned my head against his chest. Cool air swirled around us. I remembered the scent of night blooming cactus and citrus flowers as mom and I sat on the hood of her car, the radio turned all the way up. She cried and swore she'd protect me. I held her close, silently swearing the same back. I remembered the night on the beach in Baja years later, finally alone, thinking about Mom, wondering if she'd be angry or proud. Prince moaned in my earbuds as I debated whether I should call home.

Somewhere in the space of the song, this man had taken me into his arms and had taken the lead. Somehow, my body had fallen against his. Somehow, he'd gone from awkward to comforting. His chest rose and fell, stuttering and uneven, like an earthquake. As Prince's guitar faded away, he pulled back slightly, enough for his eyes to search mine. I had questions of my own.

"I still don't know your name," I pressed. My voice surprised me. It was rough and insistent. I laughed at myself. "I'm Isabella. My friends call me Bella, or, you know, Yo, sometimes."

"Isabella?" he almost hummed and my heart fluttered. I could get used to those syllables on his lips. "I'm…"

I waited in his arms as the music picked up, as other couples around us separated. He visibly struggled to say his name out loud.

"Nameless?" I joked.

"I'm Edward. Cullen. Edward Cullen."

My stomach dropped. I pulled away, disentangling my arms, remembering Jessica's words from earlier in the night. Why did I do this to myself every time? Hadn't I learned my lesson?

I talk whenever I'm nervous, and I babbled as I backed away from the insanely wealthy, mentally ill, BDSM mastermind I'd pulled out onto the dance floor. I couldn't stop the stream of words coming from my mouth. I threw rumors and suspicions in his face until he finally stopped trying to defend himself. Until he finally stopped trying altogether, and I was able to slip away.

Angela's a good friend. With one look at my face, she knew I needed to leave, and she helped me gather everyone and herd them out into the warm night. I shed my hoodie and practically jogged to the car.

"_Did you see his face?'_

"_Girl, where'd you learn those moves?"_

"_Band camp," Emily cackled. _

"_Stop it!"_

"_No, I'm serious!"_

"Bella, was -"

"No!" I nearly shouted, running ahead. "Come on, okay?"

"_And then he was all like - "_

"_I know!"_

I pulled open the van's door and jumped inside. My foot tapped impatiently while I waited for everyone to climb in.

"Isabella!"

I jumped in my seat. The driver's side door swung open and there he was. Edward Cullen had followed me out of the bar. Out of _his _bar. And then opened my car door. He had some nerve.

"Ooh! Isabelllllah!" Rebecca crooned before bursting into a fit of laughter.

I stepped out of the van to put some space between me and my drunken friends. Icy wind whipped through the air, tossing my hair in my face and plastering my shirt to my body.

"Look, Edward. Mr. Cullen. I appreciate the attention, but I'm not… I mean, I can't..." I shook my head and pushed the hair from my eyes. I took a breath and looked him in the eye, and a chill ran down my spine. I felt goosebumps rise on my bare skin and wished I hadn't thrown off my hoodie. Why was my body betraying me when my mind was pretty clear about everything?

"Listen, I'm just not interested in what you had planned for later." I spoke as much for Edward's benefit as for mine. I stood taller. I'd simply wanted to dance to "Purple Rain", not to be dominated in a dungeon for an audience.

"Edward," Edward murmured, and it caught me off guard.

"What?"

"Call me… Edward." His face crumbled, like his name managed to cause a shadow of the pain he'd felt earlier. Then he pushed the driver's side door closed and there was nowhere for me to move. There was just him, me, the van, and nothing else in the world. The night swirled up around us, and it was all vast and close at the same time. There was darkness and the memory of how easy it was to find comfort in his arms. I swallowed.

"I didn't plan for anything to happen later," he insisted.

"I… You -"

He dipped his head. His lips brushed against my ear. I fell against the van for support. "Don't listen to rumors," he whispered. For the second time since we'd met, I might have stopped breathing. Edward pulled away and licked his lips. "I'd like to see you again."

I got the distinct sense he would have liked more than to see. He looked like he wanted to taste.

"I don't think it's a good idea." My voice was small. I briefly considered dropping to the ground and crawling under the van.

"It's not just a good idea. It's the best idea I've had in ages."

"I was really nice meeting you." I was a liar. Meeting Edward Cullen was many things. "Nice" seemed the least of those things. I grabbed the door handle and pulled. The door clicked open.

"_Did you see him?"_

"_Oh my god! He was mouthwatering. And then the other one!"_

"_Angela and Rachel, get a room!"_

"_We're literally going back to my room now, if Bella would just start the car."_

"Thanks for the dance," I said quietly. Before Edward had a chance to reply, I slipped back inside the car and turned the key in the ignition. I tried not to stare, but I'm pretty sure Edward Cullen watched as I pulled out and drove away.

xXxXx

Later, I lay curled up underneath the covers, surrounded by pillows, bathed in the blue of my cell. Searches for Edward Cullen were unsatisfying. He was a member of the civic association. He'd donated money to the mayor's re-election campaign. There were no photos. There were no sensational headlines. There was an old reddit thread about sexual deviants where he was mentioned along with Bill Clinton and Drake. I shuddered, trying to force those images from my mind.

The truth of the matter was, if I searched my name on the internet I'd probably find more hits. Scratch that - my name would _definitely_ generate more hits. And more scandal. That's why I didn't go looking for my name anymore. This sick, sex-crazed millionaire was more discreet than most other social weirdos.

Eventually I fell asleep with my phone still clutched in my hand. That night, in my dreams, Edward and I slow danced on the surface of the sun, I think. Orange flames made purple rain evaporate all around us with hisses and pops. Glowing embers were reflected in Edward's eyes as he held me close.

"This was the best idea I've had in ages," he said, before pulling me in for a kiss.

xXxXx

The kiss in real life was so much better. The kiss in real life was all-consuming. It confirmed what I'd been suspecting: Edward and I fit together somehow. We weren't on the surface of the sun, we weren't being showered with purple rain, but the feeling when our lips met in his bar was definitely… elemental. Until it wasn't. Until his body went rigid and he pulled away. Until I saw the loathing in his eyes and the anger in the set of his jaw.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Edward backed away. I took a step toward him, but he put a hand out, like he needed protection. He shook his head and closed his eyes. "I'm -"

"Edward" I said, completing his sentence. I smiled, recalling the night we'd met. I wasn't afraid anymore.

But when Edward opened his eyes, his face twisted in revulsion and he backed further away, like I'd attacked him. All this time I'd been wrong. I'd misread everything right from the start. I'd pulled him onto the dance floor that first night. I was the one Googling him later, the one kissing him in my dreams. It took me almost a week to realize he didn't want me in a dungeon. What I'd completely missed was that he didn't want me at all.

"It's me. I totally misread your intentions, didn't I? Oh my god, I'm such an idiot!"

All this time I'd been doubting Edward when I should have been doubting myself. I don't know what I'd been thinking. I was just Isabella Swan - dog walker, Instacart shopper, part-time graphic designer, friend, daughter, acquitted manslaughterer. Why would Edward Cullen want me?

Flustered beyond measure, I grabbed my purse and turned to go, hoping I could put this all behind me along with all those other big chunks of my past. I'd made a good life for myself. I was happy. I could be happy without Edward. I just needed to get over the embarrassment.

"It's not you."

Suddenly I felt Edward's large hands on my hips, holding me securely, then spinning me around to face him.

"Look at me, Isabella," he murmured. When I found the courage to peer up at Edward, he was no longer disgusted. His eyes were filled with regret. He was sadder than sad. His emotions didn't make any sense. Hadn't our kiss been the best kiss in the history of kisses?

"Then I don't think I understand. Are you seeing someone? Did I make you cross a line? I'm a terrible person. I'm so, so…"

He placed a finger over my lips, and with his simple touch - his skin, my mouth - any words I might have spoken died in my throat.

"Don't say it. I'm seeing no one but the woman I hold in my grasp."

Edward's hand tightened where it held my hip, grasping like his life depended on it, and it was the first hint I'd had of his strength. All this time he'd been hiding some serious muscles under those well-tailored dress shirts. My breath hitched in my throat, and Edward loosened his grip and stepped away.

"It simply struck me quite suddenly that here - in this very public bar, as people are beginning to pile in - probably wouldn't be the best place for me to proclaim how I feel about you."

"Proclaim?" I asked breathlessly, glancing about the space. No, this wasn't Medieval Times dinner theater.

Edward bit his lip. He was sincere.

"How do you feel about me?" I managed to ask.

My heart raced as he took one, then two, very intentional steps back in my direction. My silly heart fluttered in my chest as one of Edward's rare, lopsided smiles spread over his face. His eyes brightened, more like flames than the cinders usually glowing there. Tipping my chin, he gazed down at me and I felt like I might be consumed by his icy, internal fire.

"You were not listening. This is not the place, Isabella." He dipped his head, bringing his lips to my ear. "Breathe," he whispered, and a waft of cold air swirled through the bar.

Nervous laughter erupted from my throat in a fit, and my cheeks went warm despite the air conditioning on overdrive. I couldn't remember to act like a normal living creature in this man's presence. I decided I should probably make an appointment with my doctor. Maybe I had nerve damage. There had to be a logical reason my lungs weren't working.

"Why don't you get yourself something to drink? I have to check in with the staff to make sure everything is good to go for the evening."

Edward left me to go speak with his bouncer, and I fell onto a barstool, emotionally exhausted.

"Water?" a cheerful voice asked from over my shoulder.

I turned to see a pretty woman with short, dark hair and sparkling, black eyes. "You're a water girl, right?" the bartender asked. "I remember you from the other night."

"Really?"

She shrugged as she filled a glass with some water and dropped in a wedge of lemon. "It's not every night you see something like that."

"Like when he fell?" I asked. "I know. That was crazy!"

"Um, what?"

"You know, over there," I said, pointing to the very spot where I first met Edward. "It was right after I was running, and that skinny guy got the open seat and Edward was -" I paused when I noticed the blank look the bartender was giving me.

"Not every day you see what?" I asked.

The woman smirked and nodded in Edward's direction. "Can't say the boss is much of a dancer."

I laughed. "No, I guess not."

Her eyes twinkled. "Can't say he's been much of a kisser either, until tonight."

I felt my cheeks going warm all over again and snuck at glance over my shoulder in Edward's direction. Our eyes locked, and I watched him wave off his bouncer and start walking toward me.

"In fact, he was never much of a drinker either until that night I saw the two of you here together."

"Yeah?" I asked absently, as Edward pushed past patrons and ignored calls from the DJ.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say he likes you," she said, pouring a shot of tequila and sliding it next to my glass of water.

"You think? He hasn't really said."

"Yeah, I have a feeling."

"Make that two," Edward said with a nod toward the bartender. His fingers grazed my hip. A hand pressed against the small of my back.

"No, I-"

"Let's find a quieter spot, shall we?" he asked.

I glanced at the bartender, who was handing Edward not just two shots, but an entire bottle of tequila. She nodded her head, waggled her eyebrows and mouthed a silent, "Go get him, girl!"

* * *

**A/N: I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to be writing this fic and collaborating with Jo. Thanks so much to Sue for doubling her beta work these past couple weeks. Thanks to everyone who read & reviewed. Remember to check out Hades, A Love Story - Sort of by FictionFreak95. You'll find it in my favorites. Until next week... xoxo ~M**


	3. The Debate

**Chapter 3 - The Debate**

I followed Edward Cullen down a long dark hallway. Couples made out in corners, shadows moving and moaning, gasping and clutching. I kept my eyes downcast and tried not to look. Edward breezed by it all like it was the most normal thing in the world, which I guess it would be if you lived this life, day in and day out, for years.

Toilets flushed behind bathroom doors. Something heavy fell, and clanging reverberated through the air, shaking the walls. The more normal sounds from the bar began to fade until they were muffled, like the way the world sounds when you're underwater. I wasn't on vacation at Lake Havasu with Mom, though. I was in the dark, alone with Edward Cullen. After days of debate, I knew it was exactly where I wanted to be.

xXxXx

My internal debate had started four days ago. It was also the first day I began debating with my roommate, Rosalie.

"He was just… _there_?" She threw her hands out in front of her, fingers splayed. She meant the park, but her gesture may as well have involved the entire universe.

"Yes." I sighed. The night after meeting Edward Cullen at the bar, I'd been sitting on a picnic table staring at my phone while the dogs played in the dog run. I was searching for Edward on the internet again - for his face, for a stray sentence in a newspaper article, for his name in association with one of his businesses, for anything. We'd shared a couple sentences and a dance. It shouldn't have meant as much, but I couldn't get thoughts of him out of my mind.

On a whim, I did something I hadn't done in nearly a year. I typed "Isabella Swan" into the search bar.

_Arizona woman acquitted of manslaughter..._

_Final Verdict: Arizona Woman Acquitted…_

_AZ Woman's Mother Pleads for..._

_Behind the Verdict: Was Justice Served When AZ..._

_New #MeToo Defense: Guilty of Being a Man..._

Skimming the headlines, my stomach turned, and I felt the skin prickling on the back of my neck. A cool breeze ruffled the leaves in the trees around me. A shadow fell over my phone and I glanced over my shoulder.

"Holy… Edward!?"

I jumped off the table and thrust my phone into my back pocket. The subject of my online investigation and my kissing dream was standing right next to me while I Googled myself. Edward took off his Ray-Bans and his dark eyes sparkled as he smiled down at me, almost as if my shock was amusing to him.

"And you've never seen him before last night?" Rosalie asked me.

I shook my head.

"That's creepy as all hell."

"But it somehow seemed just… normal." I shrugged. I couldn't explain it. Logic told me none of this had been normal, but Edward's explanation was also logical. It hurt to think about it, but I knew I really should. Instead, I replayed our conversation for the umpteenth time.

"I was out and about and saw the herd of animals over here. When I realized it was you sitting alone, I thought I would come and say hello to the odd woman with multiple handbags. Which I notice are not accompanying you this morning."

I laughed. How could I not? He talked like he was from another galaxy. His speech didn't fit with his tight, heather gray t-shirt and stylish, navy sports jacket. It didn't fit with his age or with the fact that he owned a string of trendy bars. Did he talk like that in business meetings? Did he talk like that with the women he…?

I shuddered.

"Bella, get a hold of yourself," Rose admonished, bringing my mind back to the present. "Some guy runs after you as you leave a bar, then eight hours later he's just there in the park where you're dog walking? He was the only other person in the park. Right?"

I couldn't meet Rosalie's pale blue eyes and fiddled with my chipped mug of chamomile tea instead. "Yeah, I'm the one who just told you the story. I know the story, Rose."

"And you're sure this is _really_ Edward Cullen. _The_ Edward Cullen?"

"Unless he lied and he's just pretending to be Edward Cullen."

"Which is maybe the only thing that would make this story any more bizarre."

I smiled and sipped my tea. It _had_ been a bizarre couple of days; just what I'd been looking for. I wanted something out of the ordinary, so I made a decision on a whim, and here I was, puzzling over a mysterious millionaire.

One of the things I love about life is we each have the power to change it. If you're not happy with a night home alone with a glass of wine, you can choose something else, like a night out with the girls. You might just meet the man local nightmares are made of. If you don't like your life in Arizona, or the beach bum you fell for in Baja, or loan debt piling on top of loan debt, you can make a change. If you don't like your step-father, sometimes, at the expense of your soul, you can make a change there too.

It was those big decisions, those life-altering changes in direction that often make you feel the most vulnerable and the most alive. Sometimes that knowledge feels wrong, so you push it out of your mind until a man comes along, and you held him on the dance floor, and all of the darkness comes swirling back. In his arms you're comforted. In his arms, it's all okay.

xXxXx

"Gathering fruit today?" Edward asked, lining up his shopping cart with mine as I made my way from the produce aisle to frozen foods.

I didn't jump that time. I didn't have to hide my phone. "It's called food shopping."

"And 'food shopping' requires twenty-three lemons?"

I glanced at my wagon, then at the printout in my hand. "Twenty-four, actually."

"You have just twenty-three in your aluminum pushcart."

I laughed nervously. At this point, it was my standard reaction to Edward Cullen. His eyes glittered. Our carts bumped.

"Were you lurking in a corner, counting my lemons?" I asked, pushing a strand of hair from my face. I knew he was just some guy, but he seemed entirely out of place in something as normal as a grocery store.

"You don't have the hounds with you for security this morning. Citrus fruits offer only limited protection." Edward passed me a twenty-fourth lemon. I shivered when our fingers touched. The frozen food aisle was especially cold that morning.

We strolled past burritos, pizzas, and gallons of ice cream. "You just happened to see me again?" I asked.

"After these past two days, I'm on the lookout, Isabella. What else are you collecting this morning?"

"In this aisle? Frozen orange juice concentrate and a vegetable medley."

Edward wrinkled his nose.

"Okay, Judgy McJudgerson, what are you '_collecting_', then?"

"Whatever piques my interest."

I glanced at his empty cart. "Nothing interesting in all of WholeFoods?"

Edward's mouth screwed up into a smug half-smile. "I wouldn't say that." His eyes raked over me and I shivered. I felt over-exposed in my lightweight button-down and shorts. Edward made a gesture with his arms, like WholeFoods was this vast, boundless space. "This world is anything but dull with you in it."

I felt my cheeks warming, so I studied the Instacart list in my hands.

"Do you always shop with a detailed computer printout?" he asked.

"Sure, when I'm shopping for other people."

"You're not fulfilling your own desires this morning?"

Laughter bubbled up from my belly. "Are you?" I asked.

Edward didn't answer. Our carts rolled in relative silence from frozen foods to cereals.

"What if you were shopping for yourself?" he pressed.

"But I'm not."

"Let's pretend you were. While you meet the basic human needs of others, would you tell me what you're drawn to in this place?"

I shrugged and couldn't help but smile. Edward Cullen seemed to really care about my favorite breakfast cereal. I nodded toward a box with a picture of blueberries being poured into a bowl of milk on the front. He picked up the fruit-flavored Bunches of Oats, studied it like he was searching out its innermost secrets, then placed it carefully in his cart. We talked about Greek versus plain yogurt, goat's milk versus cow's milk cheese, my favorite honey - something you could only find in the Arizona desert, dark chocolate with sea salt, and roasted hazelnuts dusted with cayenne. Afterwards he handed me a brown paper bag filled with all my favorite foods.

"Oh my goodness, no. I don't need you to buy me groceries, Edward."

"But it's traditional for men to buy women food."

"You don't strike me as someone with traditional values."

"How do I strike you?" Edward asked.

This time I looked him over. He looked like someone who didn't need to shop for himself. He looked like someone whose shoes might have cost more than my car. Somehow, though, Edward was the one who seemed nervous. I think he held his breath while he waited for my assessment.

"I don't know yet," I admitted.

"Would you come home with me? You could eat this food you love."

For the tiniest moment I wanted to say yes. It would be interesting to see how the other half lived. It could have been one of those moments where I made a decision that changed my day, my week, my life. Or it just could have been dangerous. I shook my head.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I can't. Maybe another time?"

I left him holding the groceries he'd picked out for me. This time I checked in the rearview mirror. This time I know he watched as I drove away.

xXxXx

Later at home, Rose threatened to call the police.

"Did he follow you here?"

"Of course not!"

"How can you be sure when you didn't even notice him following you into to the store?" Rosalie peeked through the blinds, squinting into the dark night.

I rolled my eyes. "Because he wasn't following me. How many times do I have to say it?"

"You can repeat yourself until you're blue in the face, Bella, but it won't make it true. You really expect me to believe he just _happened_ to be at the grocery store on a Monday morning? He doesn't have anything better to do with his time?"

"Everyone's got to eat."

"Listen, there's nothing I can do if you have a death wish and want to flirt with danger when you're out on your own, but you're not bringing that creeper back here. Are we clear?"

"Yes, Rose," I grumbled, suddenly feeling like a kid being chastised by their parent. And just like some wayward kid, I pulled the twenty-fourth lemon from my pocket. I'm not usually tempted to steal, but there was something about Edward that made me want to, just this once. I smiled remembering the tiny little touch when he'd handed it off to me, and I didn't feel even a hint of guilt.

xXxXx

The next morning, Edward casually met me and the dogs I was walking at the entrance to the park. He pulled a bottle of my favorite green drink from behind his back and held it out like he was presenting a bouquet of flowers. Of course, after our shopping trip, he not only knew what I liked, but had gone home with twelve bottles of the stuff.

"Don't you have work to do?" I asked. It was as much out of curiosity as it was to prove to Rose there was a very sane reason Edward Cullen was suddenly meandering around town and bumping into me on the regular.

"I could ask the same of you," Edward replied. "How come you're not toiling away in a cubicle?"

I shrugged. "It wouldn't be any fun, would it?"

I kneeled at the gate to the dog run and let the dogs off their leashes one by one. They sprinted to the opposite side of the enclosure like they were running for their lives.

"Certainly not the same as running with a pack of hounds."

"These hou-," I shook my head and started over as I took a seat on the picnic table. "The dogs are running. I'm not running. I'm sitting here in the sunshine, drinking one of my favorite things in the world with..." I paused. "With a new friend?"

Edward's eyebrows shot up from behind his sunglasses. He tentatively took a seat next to me. "Really?" he asked, tenting his hands in front of him. He shook his head.

I glanced at the bottle in my hand. "Yes, really. Have you tried one?" I took a long swig to prove my love - for my drink.

Edward wrinkled his nose. "It smells like brimstone."

"Brim-what?"

He waved a hand dismissively. "A sulphur-containing element."

"It must be the horseradish. Or the broccoli sprouts." I didn't press him on the drink. Green juice isn't for everyone. On the question of him being a man about town, I felt I had some right to an explanation after all these days of… whatever this was.

"You're avoiding my question, Mr. Cullen. I thought you had a lot of businesses to run. Shouldn't you be, I don't know, balancing the books? Meeting with vendors? Captaining industry?"

Edward sighed and looked out over the dog run. "I'm attempting to avoid my work this week. After some time, responsibility can begin to feel monotonous."

I couldn't help but smile. I understood completely. None of my friends seemed to get why I'd pieced my life together the way I had. Maybe Edward and I had one little thing in common - a desire to break out of the conformity of a predictable life.

When I glanced at him, though, the pained look I saw the first night we met was threatening like an incoming storm. If I'd known what thinking about work could do to him, I wouldn't have brought it up.

"It's good you could get away," I offered, setting the drink on the table and laying my hand over his.

Edward's head snapped in my direction and his dark eyes locked with mine. "It hasn't been nearly enough for my own satisfaction." His voice was a low rumble, like thunder.

Then he looked away. Then I could move.

"Maybe you could try to make a change?" I asked. My voice was small, blown away on a sudden breeze.

"Indeed I have." Edward sighed. I felt my muscles relax. I took another sip of my drink.

"Which is why you're here, in the park? With me?"

"You're right again, Isabella."

"I'm sure you could be in Paris, or Fiji, or watching the northern lights from a hot spring in Iceland. Isn't there something else you'd rather be doing on your break from work?"

"No. Not at all."

He glanced in my direction, a smile tugging at one corner of his mouth. Happy Edward was a sight for sore eyes. I sighed, relieved the sudden storm had passed.

xXxXx

I didn't think twice when Edward stepped into line behind me at Mac's food truck. In fact, I was kind of surprised it was afternoon before I saw him again. All morning, I caught myself looking over my shoulders; re-applying lip gloss and running my fingers through my hair before I'd turn corners. The streets were all empty, though. At least, it's how they felt without Edward Cullen walking through them.

Edward didn't have to say anything for me to know he was behind me. I felt the telltale prickling sensation on the back of my neck, like I was in the path of an oncoming squall. I wrapped my arms around myself, rubbing my bare arms for warmth.

"What took you so long?" I asked without turning around.

"I ask myself the same question with each sunrise."

I smiled. Classic Edward. "You know, you talk in riddles. It's weird."

"I'm not used to… conversation."

I sighed. A few things had become pretty clear these last few days. First of all, Edward Cullen wasn't a recluse or a shut-in. I'd seen him all over town. Second, he was different than anyone I'd ever met before. I could completely understand how someone so unusual, and so comfortable being unusual, could get labeled as a weirdo. Third, he very well may have been bipolar, but I didn't care. His moods were all over the place sometimes, but it wasn't his fault if he was mentally ill. It was really none of my business.

Then there were the rumors about the whips, the dungeon, and the sex cult. Of course, I'd told him from day one I wasn't interested. He was still interested in me, though, which brought us to the final sticking point. He was probably stalking me. It was the only explanation that made any sense. I shouldn't like it. I shouldn't look forward to it.

"Collecting street food this afternoon?" Cool breath tickled my ear and I spun around. Edward's dark eyes glittered like rays of sunshine were trapped in his irises.

"Lunch break," I barely managed to reply.

"There's no need to wait in line for a meal. Let me take you somewhere with seats."

I shook my head. "Nope. There's only one Mac's. He's usually out in Venice. There's no way I'm missing him today."

Edward narrowed his eyes. "Tell me about this Max."

"You haven't been here before?" I asked. The line stretched around the block every Thursday. "Their grilled cheese is legend."

He shook his head. "I don't believe it is."

"You know all about food trucks?"

He smiled. "I know all the legends."

"Um, sure. Okay." Somehow, I didn't doubt him. He must have studied literature or anthropology in college. I was also pretty sure he'd give some elusive answer if I tried to ask.

I sighed. Edward and I needed to talk. I needed to make sure the BDSM thing wasn't a deal-breaker. I'd seen enough pain mixed in with love for a lifetime. It wasn't my scene. I also needed to understand why he was following me. And while I wished he would open up to me, I hadn't even shared my last name with the man. When is the appropriate point in a new friendship to tell someone about the one time you bludgeoned your step-dad? We were both dancing around things that could spoil all of this: sadomasochism, stalking, bloody murder.

So I said no for the twentieth time when he asked me out to dinner. I ignored the car when it nearly ran us down, only to stop short within inches of us as we crossed the street.

"We need to talk," I told him, hesitating outside the animal shelter where I volunteered every Thursday. "I can't quite figure you out, you know?"

"The best way to learn about someone is to spend time with them."

That was true. And since Arizona_,_ I'd kept moving on. I told myself this haphazard life was all about joy. That it was all about this kaleidoscope of people and places. That it was about being happy and bringing happiness to others. Maybe, though, it kept me from spending too much time with any one person. Maybe it let me keep my secrets locked inside.

As Edward gazed down at me, waiting for some kind of reply, I marveled at how he'd managed to see through me, to see something I didn't even want to admit myself.

Quickly, before I could think better of it, I went on tiptoe and left him with a peck on the cheek. My own cheeks went warm and I ducked, embarrassed at the way my heart felt like it was on fire in my chest. Before I could get away, though, Edward clutched my hand and pulled me back to him, bringing us chest to chest. The fire in my heart seemed to burn through to my lungs, and I saw it reflected in his eyes.

"Come to the bar tonight."

"Okay," I whispered in reply.

xXxXx

"I haven't been straight with you, Rose," I admitted later.

My roommate turned from the stove where she'd been heating up dinner. "You can say that again," she said looking me over with approval. "You never told me you were a secret stone cold fox."

"Um, yeah?" I asked. I'd be lying if I said I didn't pick out the slinky black top and skinny jeans with some intention, or if I tried to pretend I hadn't spent the last twenty minutes trying to perfect a flawless smokey eye.

"Going out with Angela again?" she asked.

"No?"

She folded her arms across her chest and arched an eyebrow. "You're not sure?"

"So, yeah, um…"

Rosalie hooked her foot under the rung of a kitchen chair and pushed it in my direction. I took a seat across from her and bit my lip.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with the guy following you around a few days ago, would it?" she asked. She should have been a detective instead of a lifestyle coach.

I swallowed. "Well, I mean, yes?"

"Oh my God, Bella. What are you doing?" Rosalie sat across from me and took my hands in hers.

"I just don't think he's a bad guy, Rose."

"And you know this from what? Five minutes in a park and a creepy shopping trip?"

"Kind of more than that. Like every day this week more than that." I cringed. I knew it sounded bad.

Rose grasped my hands tighter and looked me in the eye. "Don't go, Bella. I don't want my roommate kidnapped or tortured or murdered. Us girls have to look out for each other, right?"

"He's really not so stalkery. He's just socially awkward. He's -" I shook my head trying to find the right word. "- strange and observant and kind and a little sad, I think."

"And those words are supposed to convince me this is a good idea? You're just asking to be locked away in his dungeon of horrors."

"I don't think the dungeon's real, Rose."

"No, you won't know for sure until he takes you there and locks you inside."

"I'm just meeting him at the bar. In a public place. With lots of people around. People who know him."

"People who'll cover for him."

"It's a bar, not a crime syndicate."

"And you know this how?"

"Listen. Come. Meet him. See him with your own eyes. In fact, it'll do me good. This week's been so weird it's hard to believe I'm not making it all up."

Rose sat back in her chair. "I've got a call with a client in like ten minutes."

"Come when you're done?"

She narrowed her eyes. "You think you can keep yourself safe until I get there?"

xXxXx

Edward struggled with the lock on a large, black door at the end of the hall. I pushed my hair behind my ears and tried to pat down any flyaway strands. Then, on a whim, I unzipped my hoodie. I came here to talk, but then we shared a kiss. _That _kiss. My body was still buzzing. Talking could wait, right?

No, we should talk before anymore kissing. Wow, I was already planning on more kissing.

My mental back and forth went out the window when I was suddenly hit by a wall of freezing air. Edward had finally managed to open the door, revealing an enormous office almost the same size as the bar up front. One wall was all exposed brick. The far wall was lined from floor to ceiling with books, and they weren't business texts or wholesale catalogues. There was row upon row of hard backed novels with their titles written in gold, maroon, and royal blue on the spines.

"You read?" I asked, walking over the threshold. The floor was polished hardwood, but there was a thick cream-colored area rug underfoot. The furniture was low, leather, and sleek.

Edward glanced at the wall of books. "I do." He sounded surprised.

"What's your favorite?" I tried to act natural as I took a seat. I aimed for casual as I threw an arm over the back of the chair. I crossed my legs, then uncrossed them. I fiddled with the zipper on the hoodie. Edward looked between me and the books, then back again.

"I like… the classics?"

"Yeah, no kidding. I can see that. Could you just give me one straight answer without any riddles? Which one book do you like the most?"

Edward was lost in thought for a moment, then handed me a glass of tequila. "Have you read Milton?" he asked. I shook my head.

He walked along the row of books and trailed his finger over their spines one by one, until he came to the book he was looking for. "_Paradise Lost_?"

"What about it?"

He plucked it from the bookshelf and turned it over in his hands. He leafed through the pages. "This part gets me every time," he mumbled to himself.

"What?"

He huffed. "Just a new take on an old story."

"New?"

Edward shrugged and tossed the book aside. I blinked and somehow he was across the room, pouring himself another shot.

"Did you bring me back here to drink? Are you sure you're not upset with me? You seem -"

"Rude," he said, taking another step away from me, tossing back the silver liquid. With one more step he was flush with the desk and couldn't put any more space between us. I half expected him to crawl over it for protection. "I apologize for my behavior. I'm just not used to -"

"PDA." This time I finished his sentence. Two could play at that game.

"PDA?" he asked, like he'd never heard of the term.

"Yeah. I get it. You're a private guy. It's not like I don't know."

"Yes, well, we're not very public anymore, are we?" he asked, glancing at the office door. I'd closed it behind me. No, we weren't public at all. After asking me out relentlessly for a week, Edward seemed at a loss. After turning him down relentlessly, I was ready to throw caution to the wind, or at least throw it to a back office in the downtown industrial district.

All week, I'd been debating what to do about Edward Cullen. Tonight, I'd been debating what I needed to tell him. But after our kiss, the debate was over. After our kiss, I needed more.

I fiddled with the heavy glass in my hand.

A good person would talk things out before diving in head first. I'd tried to be a good person. I lived my whole life as a good person, almost. God, who was I kidding?

I tossed back the tequila and it burned its way down my throat. I tried to stand up in the fluid way actresses always do in the movies, but the seat was low and I forgot my legs were crossed, and I stumbled to my feet. Edward didn't laugh. He remained frozen against the desk, almost as if he was afraid to move.

"So, you're not married," I asked?

He shook his head almost imperceptibly.

I took a step toward him. "And you don't have a girlfriend?"

I saw his Adam's apple bob in his throat. He placed his empty glass on the desk beside him. "No."

I took another step. Then another. I was close enough to reach out and hook my finger on a belt loop. Edward flinched. "And you're not repulsed by me?"

That devilish half smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "No."

"You know the old saying? Actions speak louder than words?"

"I know it."

"You are a walking, talking contradiction, Edward."

"I assure you, I don't mean to be."

I inched closer, almost nose to nose. "Then - "

Edward shook his head. "That's close enough."

"What is it about you that makes me want to lower every wall I've built up over the past few years?" Edward swallowed again, leaning against the desk.

"Talk to me?" I asked. Gazing into his eyes, I saw the glittering night sky, rippling out to infinity. It was like the solar system was unfolding before me, giving the tiniest glimpse of the universe.

"I'd much rather kiss you."

This time it was my own movements taking me by surprise: my hands on his hips, my chest flush with his. We were pulled together by forces I could hardly understand - something stronger than a magnet, stronger than gravity. His eyelids fluttered as my lips closed over his mouth, and it was like a supernova burst inside my chest. My little human life didn't matter with the vast unknown unfurling around me.

His hands, which had been hanging at his sides, slid over my hips, up my sides and around, holding me close, then lifting and turning, like I was some celestial body orbiting the sun, bound by laws of physics I could hardly understand. Those forces rendered me breathless, yet alive in his arms. They pulled me to him and held me in place like steel beams, like granite, like a point of infinite density.

Suddenly, I was sitting on the desk, and Edward was gazing down on me. The world had flip flopped while I was in his arms, it was all backwards and in reverse. Or that's how it felt. I shook my head and tried to right it all again.

"Bella," Edward murmured. His voice sounded… different, like it came from far away instead of the man in front of me.

This was the moment. This would be the proclamation. I waited, breathless in his arms.

"_Excuse me! Get your hands off me, dude_."

Edward sprung away from me and I jumped off the desk. We watched as the door shuddered on its hinges and the bolt rattled in the lock.

"_I said get your fucking hands off me before I deck your ass right here, right now, pal!_"

I sighed. The proclamation would have to wait. Rosalie was here to try to save me from myself.

* * *

**A/N: FictionFreak95 is slowly but steadily corrupting my soul. That's the only explanation for why I've fallen so hard & so fast for these characters. Like Bella and the lemon, I don't feel bad about it at all. Jo will be back with more Hades, A Love Story - Sort of next week. Thanks to Sue for teaching me tenses. Thanks so much to the ladies at TLS for recommending this little fic this week & thanks to everyone that's read and reviewed. Until next time ~M**


	4. The Drive

**Chapter 4 - The Drive**

"Rose?" I asked walking across the office. Each step I took was one step further away from Edward and I could feel the separation in my bones. My body ached like it was suffering a physical loss. It didn't make sense, but I didn't have time to figure it out.

"_I said you can't go back there_!" a booming voice shouted from a distance. The door shook on its hinges, like someone was hurling all their weight against it.

"Rose?" I called again, fumbling with the lock, then throwing open the door.

My roommate practically fell on top of me. Rose held me at arms' length as she quickly looked me over, worry etched in every line of her face.

"Hey, there you are. I've been looking all over this dump for you!"

I shook my head. "I completely let time get away from me. I totally forgot you were coming by."

Rose sighed. She'd asked me to keep myself safe, and I'd locked myself alone in a room with the one person she'd wanted to protect me from. She looked from me, to the elegant office behind me, and then her eyes zeroed in on Edward. "No problemo," she mumbled, taking a few tentative steps into the room, like something might jump out at her from one of the corners.

"Rose, this is Edward." I grabbed Edward by the hand and tried to pull him over, but he seemed superglued to the floor by his desk. "Edward, this is Rose. She's my roommate."

Rose folded her arms across her chest. "Edward _Cullen_?"

"I, uh -"

"Entrepreneur?"

Edward shrugged.

"Night club owner?"

"Well, I -"

"_Stalker_?"

"Rose!" I cut in.

Before Rose could lob another insult, the giant bouncer from the front of the house came rushing into the room and lunged between them, like he was taking a bullet for his employer. Rose put her hands up in fake surrender and the bouncer narrowed his eyes and shook his head in disgust as he got back to his feet.

"Sorry, boss. I tried to stop her from roaming around the building unsupervised."

"You know what you are, you're a fucking bully," Rose muttered.

The big guy turned his full attention toward her, raising himself to his full height, looming. He seemed as big and strong as the brick wall behind him. "Oh yeah? Well, you're a -"

Edward stepped between the two, and with a hand to the bouncer's chest he got the big guy to back up. "How about a drink to celebrate the coming together of new friends?"

"What?" I asked, but Edward was already walking out into the hall. I blinked and I'd missed him. The bouncer eyed us carefully before following his boss.

Rose arched an eyebrow. "Wow!" She shook her head. "He's -"

"- real, right? Tell me this is all real. You could see him?"

"Excuse me?"

"Because this has been seriously incredible, Rose." I threw myself into a buttery leather chair, closed my eyes and collapsed, melting into the upholstery.

"Are you okay?" she asked. I felt the back of her hand on my forehead like she was checking for a fever.

I wasn't okay. Okay was basic. Okay was middle of the road. I'd just kissed a guy and it felt like I'd been transported to a different place in space and time. It felt like the cells of my body had been pulled apart and rearranged, then stuck haphazardly back together. Just a minute or two ago the whole galaxy had been swirling around me; Edward and I had been the center of our own universe.

"Did you hit your head?" Rose asked.

She wasn't far off. I _had _seen stars.

"We kissed," I gushed. My lips were still tingling. They weren't the only part of my body still tingling.

I slid lower in the chair until I lay almost flat. I could still feel his hands on my hips, my thighs, and the back of my head. I ran my own hands slowly up over my ribs toward two spots I'd wished he'd touched. Then I opened my eyes and gasped in surprise. I was back in space, surrounded by stars. I blinked. No, it wasn't space; the night sky was painted on the ceiling of Edward's office in exquisite detail. Everything I'd just been feeling was illustrated overhead. I hadn't seen the sky like that in years; not since Mom and I made wishes on a shooting star while we lay on our backs in the backyard.

"Wow," I whispered.

"Did you hit your head before or after the kiss?" I was brought back to earth by the sound of drawers opening and closing. Rosalie was rifling through Edward's desk.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for a flashlight to shine in your eyes. You're acting like my little brother after he was clocked with a bowling ball."

I shook my head and reluctantly pulled myself to my feet. "You're snooping."

"He's pretty organized," she mumbled. "But most sociopaths are, I think."

"Rose, stop. He's not entirely creepy. I mean, does this look like a dungeon to you?"

Rose glanced around the office and whistled. I made a move to close the drawers while she was distracted, but something small, square, and purple caught my eye. I lifted _Purple Rain_ on compact disc up out of Edward's top desk drawer. I knew each and every song on that album. Every word. Every guitar riff.

Rose pulled out his passport. "I guess he is the real Edward Cullen," she admitted reluctantly as she flipped through the stamped pages. "Which begs the question; why is the real Edward Cullen stalking you? What did he say?"

"What?" I asked, still clutching Prince's masterpiece in my hands. The case was scratched, the insert faded.

"Bella, what did he say when you confronted him about showing up everywhere you happened to be this past week?"

I shrugged. "I haven't asked him just yet."

"Don't you think that was some 'need to know' kind of information before you made out with him?"

I couldn't quite look Rose in the eye. "Maybe I shouldn't get all judgy, you know?"

My roommate sighed. She plucked the CD out of my hands, tossed it across the desk and took her hands in mine. "I know what you're thinking, but you deserve a non-stalker, at the very least."

I shook my head. "I don't think he's a stalker."

"He's literally followed you all over town for days. Look up the definition of 'stalker' in the dictionary. You'll probably find his mugshot there."

I pulled myself away from Rose. "Let's go find him. I'll ask. I just need to find the right time."

"Don't do it on my account, Bella. Do it for yourself. Okay?"

xXxXx

Back in the bar everything felt off. A bass beat pounded and the floor shook with its reverberations. Multicolored lights swirled, making everyone look like monsters instead of men. Rose and I made it there just in time for Edward to hand us each a glass of champagne. The bartender mouthed 'sorry' and pushed a glass of water in my direction while Edward raised his champagne flute in the air.

"A toast to… whatever!" he cheered, but he looked scared. He looked like he was ready to jump out of his skin. He certainly wasn't ready to take a drink, and after tossing back the glass he wretched like he was underwater instead of breathing air.

"Why don't you request something from Jasper?" he suggested between sputtering coughs.

Around other people, Edward was a different creature from the man I knew one-on-one. I left him whispering in his bouncer's ear, glancing furtively around the bar, their eyes and teeth glowing under black light. I requested an old favorite of mine - one of the best anthems of all time - something anyone with an old _Purple Rain_ CD would appreciate. Back when I was little, Mom and I choreographed an entire dance to the chorus. Our cats would take cover while we twirled, lunged, and laughed, eventually falling into one another's arms on the couch.

I didn't expect exactly the same reaction from Edward, but I wouldn't object to falling into his arms. I wouldn't say no to his smile. I never got the chance.

"Take a ride with me?" Edward urgently asked when I'd made my way back to the bar.

"But, I just requested Prince."

"I have the strangest urge for fresh air and the night sky."

I shook my head. This was crazy. I looked to Rose for some support.

"Yeah, um, I'm gonna hang with this dumbass for a while," she said, wrapping an arm around the bouncer's waist.

"What?"

"You should go, Bella. _Now_. Please?"

"But -"

"But you have some questions that need answering, right?"

It didn't make any sense, but as I looked from Rose and her artificial smile, to Edward's hopeful, firelit eyes, to all the anonymous strangers packed in around us and pounding back drinks, I thought about my night, my week, my life. The first strains of Prince's anthem surged from the speakers. Decision made, I bravely smiled.

"Okay, let's go."

xXxXx

Edward drove north, first through stop and go downtown traffic, then up into the hills until we were surrounded by shadows, bathed in the light of the stars glittering overhead. Backlit by the glowing blue light from the dashboard, Edward's profile looked almost regal; with a high forehead, an aquiline nose, and strong jaw. He was poised, something I didn't know was possible while driving a car.

My body was pulled in his direction like he was a black hole and I was an ill-fated rock floating through space. I didn't stand a chance when he was near. I tentatively reached toward him, but anxious I'd feel the same seismic reverberation as when we kissed, I settled my arm on the console between us instead. A shiver ran down my spine and I wondered if the stars would fall from the sky, encircling us in our embrace. Of course, if that happened, we'd probably go hurtling off the edge of a cliff. No one could drive in that condition.

"So, um, where are we going?" I ventured, trying to put thoughts of celestial kissing out of my mind.

"I'm not sure. I just wanted to get you away."

I understood. When it was just Edward and I, it was like the world was made for the two of us to walk through together. I shook my head, trying to figure out when I'd stopped thinking his omnipresence was dangerous. Was it yesterday? Twenty minutes ago?

"It's not the same when there are other people around, is it?" I asked. "When it's just the two of us, it's -"

"- perfect." Edward glanced at me quickly, then back out at the road ahead.

I sighed. If only stalking could be perfect. I traced circles on the leather console with my fingertip. "There's been a lot of you and me this week."

Edward smiled. My heart fluttered. "It's been a good week."

"Yeah, but…" My voice faded as I searched for the right words. I shifted in my seat. I fiddled with the zipper of my hoodie. I couldn't bring myself to move my other hand from the console. I'd never been so physically drawn to anyone in my life.

"Did I do something wrong, Isabella?"

"Wrong?" I asked, startled. When had stalking stopped feeling wrong? "Well, there's what other people might say, and there's what I'd say."

"I'm only interested in what you think."

"I trust you. That's weird, isn't it?"

Edward flinched. "Everyone should trust their instincts."

"And your instincts have us running for the hills?"

"Driving."

"Same difference."

"Not exactly." Edward looked over at me and bit his bottom lip. "I've missed the point, haven't I?"

I folded my legs beneath me so I was more at Edward's eye level. I pushed my hair behind my ears and tried to steady my nerves with a deep breath. "Tell me the truth. How come I didn't see you all over the place before last Saturday? I've been living here for months."

Edward turned back to the road. His fingers fiddled on the steering wheel. "I, well… I would have been out and about mostly after dark. I'm more of a night owl, I suppose."

"Right. Of course. Nightclubs. You work at night."

Edward nodded. "True."

"That makes some sense, but still…"

Edward glanced at me, his eyes searching mine. I tried to look stern, but I had a feeling I was failing miserably. I hoped it was dark enough that he wouldn't notice the smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. "Listen, there was a time when stalking might have seemed romantic. Guys in movies held boomboxes outside of windows. Adam Sandler needed fifty first dates, but _hello_! It's 2019. Just give it to me straight. Have you been following me?"

I held my breath as Edward seemed to mull over what I'd asked. It wasn't a difficult question. The answer was either yes or no.

"I looked for you, but I certainly didn't trail around after you. I wouldn't call it following."

I narrowed my eyes. "You're splitting hairs. What exactly would you call it?"

"You're like gravity, Isabella. I'm a hapless element that's fallen into your orbit. If you look up and I'm here, it's simply a matter of force and attraction. It's not a well laid plan to track you down for some nefarious purpose."

"No, then? You're answer is no to the stalking?"

"I didn't want to give up the opportunity to spend fleeting time with you."

I sighed, unsatisfied yet swooning. He might have been a stalker, but he made it sound like poetry. "Then would you just, I don't know, call? Text? Like a normal person?"

"You'd like me to use…" Edward dug in his pocket and tossed his cell on the console. "This electronic device?"

"Yes. If you'd like to see me you should text me and let me know."

"I can do that."

"You'd need my number. You haven't magically found it by some gravitational force or something, have you?"

Edward laughed. "I don't think that's possible."

"Tell me again how any of this is possible?" I shook my head and I typed my number into Edward's phone. For my photo I found a picture of a dove. Anyone with a _Purple Rain_ album in their top desk drawer would understand.

"See, I told Rose I didn't think you'd hurt me."

"I'd never, willingly."

I sighed. We may have almost, partially crossed stalking off my list, but there were a few other issues we needed to discuss. "Yeah, about that too."

Edward placed his hand over mine on the console. I startled at his touch, remembering that all-consuming feeling from back in the office. But instead of an atomic explosion, a simmering, static electricity crackled and popped where his skin grazed mine. I gave myself a minute to adjust to the charge flowing between us that surged from that spot to fill the car and spill out into the mountain air that rushed past as we drove.

"You were saying?" he asked with a quick glance in my direction. His burning black and amber eyes were like twin meteors in the night sky.

I took a deep breath. "About hurting me."

His hand tensed over mine. "Isabella, I told you -"

"I know what you've said, Edward, but you've hurt people before, right? Like torture? Chains? Whips? That kind of thing?"

Edward sighed. "Something like that."

"Do you need that to be happy?"

"No. After a time it was more of a habit than anything pleasurable."

"Okay. Would you want me to…" I pointed between the two of us. "- _you_?"

Edward looked mildly amused. "No."

"Because I've seen those silly movies. At first the girl's all like, '_No way_!' but then the guy's so hot and insistent, and so she gives in. That's just not my thing, okay?"

"The guy's good looking?" Edward asked, glancing at his face in the rearview mirror.

"I'm serious. It's not going to happen, Edward. Not with me."

"You're the only person I've ever met where I might believe that's true."

Edward turned my hand in his, so we were palm to palm, and he laced his fingers with mine. "I don't have any designs to hurt you, Isabella. That's not why I'm interested in you."

"Why are you interested in me? I don't understand."

"You speak your mind without regard for other people's opinions of your multiple handbags or the many hounds who keep you company. You find joy where you can, and seek to bring joy to others. You're a good person."

"What if I told you I wasn't?" I whispered, finally giving voice to my biggest fear. The last item on my list.

"It wouldn't matter."

It always mattered. He'd never look at me the same.

"People say stuff about you too. It doesn't matter to me either," I said.

"I wish that were true," he replied. "There's no one on this earth who genuinely knows me."

"Nobody really knows me either. I guess I'm not really sure how I feel about you being the first."

Edward squeezed my hand. "No pressure."

"What if there are some things I'm not ready to confess?" I asked.

"You're confessions could never compare to mine."

I squeezed Edward's hand that time, uncertain how to reply. Instead, I let the shadows race past us. I watched the moon skate along the treeline. I fell into the comfortable hum of the engine and the energy between us.

"Spend the weekend with me?" Edward asked, taking me by surprise.

"What?"

"No expectations. I simply want to spend time with you away from prying eyes and curious ears."

I knew there was work. There were dogs who needed walking and there was a graphic I'd promised someone on Fivrr. There were volunteer hours I'd signed up for, and there was my shift with Meals on Wheels. And there was the poetic stalker by my side. There were mountains around us and a boundless sky overhead. There were tires spinning and roads leading away from it all. There were two scared people, afraid to open up, but hopelessly drawn to one another nevertheless.

"I'll handle it all," Edward promised, and with a call it was done. With a call, I didn't have to worry.

"Would you give me your word?" I asked.

Edward blinked. "What is it?"

"Let me tell you who I am? Let it be me, not anyone else?"

"That's the only thing I've wanted since I first laid eyes on you. You have my word, Isabella. Now rest."

xXxXx

Waves gently crashed. Foam tickled our toes.

"Isabella."

Sunlight bounced off breakers and the sea looked fiery reflected in Edwards eyes. Cool, wet sand shifted under our feet. I picked up a seashell and held it up to my ear. The ocean roared.

"Mmm hmm?" I asked. I stretched my arms over my head, yawning.

"We're here."

I rubbed my eyes and blinked. A red ball of light slipped over a silver horizon, bleeding pink and orange through slivers of golden clouds. Tall palms stood in silhouette. Seagulls called to one another before they swooped toward the ocean, diving and playing in the surf.

"What did you do?" I asked. My dream had come to life around us.

"It was just here," he murmured.

I glanced at Edward. His jaw was set. His brow furrowed. He gripped the steering wheel.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

He sighed. He looked my way and grabbed my hand. The electric hum was back. It filled the car. He smiled. "I am now."

* * *

**A/N: Which Prince anthem you ask? 7 - in honor of my dedicated readers. Thanks to everyone that's taken the time to review. Many thanks to SereneInNC for beta-ing in a pinch, and to Jo for too many laughs, even as I cry. Hades, a Love Story updates today. Don't miss it! Until next week... xoxo ~M**


	5. The Dream

**Chapter 5 - The Dream**

I grew up in the desert dreaming of water so deep and so big, it swallowed up the horizon. It's a dream I carried with me from my childhood. In real life, the ocean was even better than my dreams. In real life, the sea smelled sour and salty. It sucked and surged, powerful and alive. Its undertow pulled at my body with a force without comparison until now, until Edward. Standing on the shore, with the sea at my face and Edward behind, I was held in a beautiful balance.

I kicked off my shoes and ran for the water's edge. The warm breeze was wet with mist, and the waves lapped at my ankles, cold as ice. I scrunched my toes in the sand while I rolled up the legs of my jeans.

"How did you know?" I called back to Edward. He'd literally made my dream come true.

"Know what?" he asked. I turned. He wasn't looking at the scenery. Instead he was watching me.

"How do you know me so well?" I asked. "Like through and through?"

"I wish. It's all I want, Isabella."

I walked toward him as he tentatively picked his way over drifts like he was walking on eggshells. I brushed the hair from my face and pulled it into a messy bun so I could see him clearly; his dark eyes, strong jaw, the soft lips which seemed to lift into a smile whenever he gazed down at me. He was the constant as night turned to day and as dark turned to light.

"You brought me here so you could know me?" I asked, staring up at him. The rising sun was reflected in Edward's eyes like flames in the darkness.

When we were close enough, Edward reached for me. The icy-hot burning of his hands on my hips somehow managed to force the air from my lungs. I felt lightheaded and leaned into his touch for support.

"I honestly don't know why I brought you here, but would very much like to know you. Through and through, as you say."

I shivered from head to toe. With his odd, old-fashioned talk, I was pretty certain I knew exactly what he meant.

xXxXx

Edward looked at me askance when I took a seat on the beach, but I patted the spot next to me and he carefully lowered himself to the ground. I huddled in my hoodie, chilled to the bone. The wind whipped around us, thrashing dune grass and throwing sand into our faces. Edward sputtered as he shook the grains from his hair and brushed it from his eyes, then from his hands, and then off the legs of his pants.

"It's everywhere," he muttered. For a man who drove all night to get to the shore, he sure didn't seem to like sand.

I giggled. "It's the beach."

"It's no excuse."

He gave himself a once over, searching for the one or two grains that might have escaped his inspection. Finally satisfied, he wrapped a strong arm around my shoulders.

"You all set over there?" I asked, looking him over and sighing. Edward with wrinkled clothes and tousled hair was mouthwatering.

"It's worse than the asophodel meadows. Like an infinite, tasteless salt mine."

"What, this?" I asked, kicking enough sand his way to bury his loafers and coat his bare ankles. I giggled again. I couldn't help it.

Edward lunged at me and I shrieked as I jumped to my feet, out of his way. I kicked a little more sand in his direction.

"Really, Isabella?" he asked, his eyes gleaming, stomping to free himself of the fine coating of grit.

I grabbed a handful of sand. Edward threw his hands out in front of him, like he thought they could conjure some kind of geological force field. "You wouldn't."

"Oh, wouldn't I?"

"You're clearly part angel _and_ part demon."

"Aso-fosodile this!" I shouted, throwing sand at him and running.

I heard his heavy footsteps behind me, gaining on me, and I shrieked. It may have been a game, but my body reacted with visceral fear and my heart pounded in my ears. I pushed myself to run faster, my feet slapping in the wet sand at the water's edge. I screamed again when his fingers curled tightly around a shoulder, and his other hand clamped over a hip. I struggled as he pulled my body against his. Edward's chest was heaving, and I could hear him gasping for air, his lips against my scalp.

As he held my body pressed against his it felt like electric ice crystalized in my veins. My body ached. I wanted to get closer. I wanted to tear away any barrier to this feeling. At the same time, I wanted to break free and run; to save myself. I wanted all of it and couldn't think straight. With my mind confused into complacency, I didn't put up a fight when Edward turned me in his arms and gazed into my eyes.

"No, just angel," he murmured, the tip of his nose brushing mine. He swept my hair from my eyes. My heart pounded uncomfortably in my chest. Would the world stop again when we kissed?

"Truly divine," he whispered before a look of fear flitted across Edward's face. He dropped his hands. He stepped back. With space between us, the icy charge faded and my body relaxed like some abstract danger had passed. I wanted it back, though. I wanted to fling myself against him. I needed his lips against mine again, his hands on my body. My knees went weak with just the thought.

I plopped down on the warm, white sand. Edward gazed at me dubiously.

"Have a seat?" I asked.

"Not without your word, Isabella."

I couldn't help but smirk. "If I promise not to throw sand at you, what will I get in return?"

Edward settled himself next to me very tentatively. "My entire kingdom, if you promise not to cover me in tiny grains of… whatever this is." He began brushing sand off the sleeves of his jacket. "Not that you'd want anything it has to offer."

I sighed. He was probably right. "Yeah, I'm not really into nightclubs. I mean, it's cool you are, though. Somebody's gotta do it. Right?"

"Someone does, but I'd rather not talk about work right now."

I wasn't sure where to steer the conversation from there. Instead, I leaned my head against his shoulder and watched the orange sun slip higher in the sky as turquoise bled into the midnight blue expanse overhead. I wondered why Edward was so averse to talking about his job. He hadn't said more than a few sentences about any of it since the day we'd met. For a guy as driven as he was to own ten nightclubs by the time he was…

"How old are you?" I asked.

"I, uh…"

I nudged him with my shoulder. "Are you embarrassed? Oh my God."

He shook his head and huffed a sigh. "It has nothing to do with your God. I'm old enough to know better."

"Are you trying to say you're, like, close to my mom's age or something?" I studied his profile in the morning light. No wrinkles. No crow's feet. He couldn't have been more than thirty-five, tops.

Edward laughed outright. "I'm certainly not the same age as your mother."

"That's good," I assured him.

Edward fell silent again. I tried to ignore the creeping disbelief that someone as successful and worldly as he was would ever want anything to do with me. I tried to push out the doubts that came tumbling in when I compared my thrift shop furniture with the stuff Edward had in his office. I tried not to think of all those pieces of my past which would probably send him packing, and definitely change things between us.

"What's on your mind?" I asked him instead. His thoughts had to be better than what I had going on in my head.

"I'm thinking about how I'd like to sail out on this body of water and never return," he quietly admitted, taking me a little by surprise. Edward explained how he'd navigate by the stars to find his way to islands I'd never heard of. He talked about climbing into a sailboat and leaving it all behind.

"All alone?" I asked. We'd only just met. I couldn't imagine never seeing him again.

Edward peered down at me. "Preferably not."

My heart stuttered. "Sometimes I think I'd like to sail away too," I admitted.

"Really?"

I ducked my head to hide my burning cheeks. "Yeah. Pretty much my whole life. There was this book when I was little. My, um, dad and I… It was one of my favorites. Do you know _The Chronicles of Narnia_?"

Edward shook his head, clearly perplexed.

"Even with all those books back at Brick and Mortar? How weird."

"What were you saying?"

"Right, sailing. I wanted to be Lucy on the _Dawn Treader _from book three. My dad and I built a little wooden replica together in my backyard. Mostly Dad, but he let me think I helped. I'd play out there all day, pretending I was Lucy sailing for Aslan's home. When I couldn't sleep, we'd pull out the book and my dad told me to climb up in the crow's nest in my dreams. I'd lay there as my dad read, trying to imagine what an ocean looked like. I didn't get it exactly right. Not like this," I said, looking out over the water, now silver and shimmering in the bright morning light.

"It seems to transcend space and time, does it not?" he asked.

"_One day all seven will die_," I sang under my breath, quoting Prince back to him.

"I'm sorry?" he asked.

I hummed a little louder, a bit self-consciously. I nudged him with my shoulder. "You know, Prince?"

Edward offered only a blank stare. I shrugged. He must have been a secret member of The Purple Army. It wasn't like I could admit Rose and I had gone rummaging through his desk drawers. "Just a song."

xXxXx

Later, we walked along the boardwalk hand in hand, scouting out brunch options. Heat seemed to flow from our joined hands, warming the little beach town. People smiled when they saw us and tread lighter on their feet.

"Mr. Cullen," an older man said, nodding as we walked past.

"You know him?" I asked.

He squeezed my hand. "Apparently."

In fact, people all over town had been nodding and smiling at Edward. Someone asked him about a girl named Luna. Women whispered to one another when we walked by.

"Do you live here?" I asked.

Edward shook his head. "Not that I know of."

"Did you grow up near here, then?"

"The other ends of the earth, really."

My eyes went wide. "Overseas?"

"What about you?" he asked. "You mentioned last night you'd only recently moved to LA. Where's your home?"

I shook my head. "It's not my home anymore." I tried unsuccessfully to swallow the sudden lump in my throat. "Have you ever heard of Gila Bend?"

"I can't say I have."

I sighed with relief, grateful for the cushion a couple of years and a couple hundred miles could provide. There was only one thing people in Southern California tended to know about Gila Bend, Arizona. It would happen soon enough. It was inevitable, but I wasn't ready to cross the line. He thought I was uncomplicated and carefree. I wanted to be that version of myself for a little while longer.

"Is your father still there?" Edward asked.

"Oh, um, no. My dad died when I was little."

Edward stopped suddenly. "What was his name?"

"Um, Charlie?"

Edward furrowed his brow and stared off into space like he was searching his memory.

I couldn't help but laugh. "I'm five hundred percent sure you guys never met. "

He smiled down at me, then kissed the top of my head. "Most likely not."

"What about you?" I asked, ignoring the way my heart fluttered in my chest.

"What about me?"

"Hometown? Family?" I stopped in front of him and poked a finger at his very firm, very broad chest. "Spill, Mr. Cullen."

"It's complicated," he demurred. He stepped around me to pretend to study the breakfast menu at a bagel shop.

"Families usually are. We'll start slow. I told you mine, so you tell me yours. What's your dad's name?"

Edward didn't answer for a second or two. "Mr. Cullen?" he said, taking my hand again.

"Very funny. First name?"

Edward sighed. "My father's name is Cronus."

"Cronus Cullen?" I asked, trying not to laugh. "That's quite a name. Are you close?"

"We never got on well. And then there was this thing with my younger brother." He waved a hand dismissively. "But let's not ruin this morning with all sorts of unpleasantness."

It was fine with me. He wanted to be a more pleasurable Edward. I wanted to be carefree Bella. So we were. We sipped espresso, then drank tropical fruit smoothies and ate breakfast muffins.

Edward looked at his morning glory muffin critically after his first bite. "It's simply cake without frosting."

I laughed. He was ridiculous.

He kept a straight face when I showed him the beach towels I'd picked out: a Lisa Frank unicorn for him and Joe Jonas for me. "Joe's got nothing on you," I assured Edward, drawing a line from his shoulder to elbow, my fingertip either on fire or suffering frostbite.

"These go over the sand?' he said, looking past the towel he held in his hands and wrinkling his nose in disgust at the rolling white beach laying between us and the sea. Before I knew what he was doing, Edward bought ten more. We had doubles of each of the Jonas Brothers, even Kevin, and a pegasus and a narwhal to match our unicorn. Edward lay them end to end, overlapping at the edges. I doubled over laughing at his impromptu Jonas collage.

"What?" he asked, somewhat exasperated by my laughter.

I wiped the tears from my eyes, but couldn't quite stop snickering as I climbed very carefully onto Edward's beach towel art, making sure to leave my feet in the sand.

"You know, you told me last night you like me because I'm just me."

Edward smiled, stretching out gratefully on top of Nick Jonas. "I did. I do."

"Because it seems like I don't care what people think? Right?"

"And perhaps because you remember my every word. But I've only realized that trait of yours this minute."

"Look around us, Edward." I pointed out each of the Jonas brothers. "You don't care either. I think people make up stuff about you because you're unapologetically you. Maybe we're the same... a little?"

"No, you're -"

I leaned over and put my finger to his lips, silencing him. "You're about to say it's not true. You think I'm so much better than you. Right?"

He shook his head. "But -"

I let my fingertip trail from his lips, to his chin, then over his Adam's apple to the edge of his collar. "But nothing, Mr. Cullen. We're the same. I can't believe _you_ want to hang out with _me_. I don't even get it."

"Neither do I," he rasped. He shook his head. "You, me."

I hooked my finger underneath his collar and Edward let me pull him closer. Close enough for his breath to tickle where it touched. Close enough for me to see the little orange threads making his eyes look like they were on fire. "Let's stop trying, maybe? Let's stop thinking so little of ourselves?"

"For you, Isabella. For you I'll try."

xXxXx

I woke up to the sound of seagulls and the crash of the surf, my head on Edward's shoulder. I blinked open my eyes and the afternoon sun was blinding, so I buried my face in Edward's shirt instead, inhaling his salt and cinnamon scent.

"We should find shelter from the elements," he mumbled into my hair.

"And a bed?" I asked. My body pressed against his. Long, lean, burning.

"A roof over your head." He pressed a finger against my upper arm, before reaching to clutch my hand. "You're burnt."

"And a shower?" I suggested. "To get rid of all this sand?"

He pushed me onto my back, laughing down at me. "Don't threaten me with sand again, Isabella."

"I'm threatening you with a shower, Edward."

xXxXx

It might have been the lure of becoming completely sand-free that had Edward packed and ready to go in under a minute. Maybe. Sand certainly wasn't the only thing on my mind as I admired the flex of his arms and the fit of his jeans as he folded up the Jonas brothers one at a time.

Edward seemed familiar with which hotel was closest and might have known all the clerks in the lobby, but he only had eyes for me as we rode the elevator to the top floor. I found myself studying my toes instead of looking him in the eye, overwhelmed and anxious. I couldn't shake the memory of the kiss we'd shared in his office; the way it made me feel like I was teetering on the brink of life and death. If I were being honest, I was more scared than I'd been my first time. Back in Baja, I just thought it might hurt a little. Tonight I was planning something which might make my heart explode.

The elevator opened, revealing one set of large double doors across a marble landing. My heart pounded in my chest as Edward fiddled with the key card. I held half a dozen Jonas brothers in my arms, as a protection of sorts. When the doors opened, though, my fears fell by the wayside along with the beach towels. Beyond the sitting room with its dark wood furnishings, beyond the soft lighting and vibrant artwork, beyond it all was my dream from when I was five years old. At the other end of the suite were floor to ceiling windows with doors open to the sea.

Out on the balcony I found myself perched high over rippling water. The sea stretched from somewhere beneath us to where the last silvery rays of sunlight met the orange and purple sky. The water glimmered like liquid onyx.

"How can something so dark still shine like that?" I wondered out loud. "I'm so glad you kidnapped me and brought me here, Edward."

"I didn't really have a choice."

"I could stare out at the ocean forever. Couldn't you?"

"Mmhmm," he hummed as he swept my hair aside and placed a searing kiss on the back of my neck. I hissed with pleasure and pain and gripped the railing for support.

"There's something about you, Edward. About us?"

I felt him shiver where we touched - his fingers along my neck, his arm around my waist, his hip against the small of my back. My head swam. I took a ragged breath.

"Us?" he asked. His lips brushed against my neck again, this time closer to my ear. "Tell me about us."

"The kiss," I rasped, struggling for breath. "The one in your office..."

His mouth slid toward my jaw, and I could feel my pulse pounding against his lips. "Yes?"

I broke out in a sweat. A voice in the back of my head tried to command my feet to run, but Edward's gravitational pull had me rooted to the spot. I needed to get away and I absolutely needed to get as close as physically possible.

"I've never felt this… or that before," I tried to explain, fumbling for words as all my nerves seemed to misfire. "This is intoxicating."

Edward chuckled under his breath and with one strong tug pulled my body flush with his.

"When we kissed, though, Edward? I thought my chest was going to explode from the inside out. You know?"

Edward sighed. "I do," he agreed. In an instant he was gone - his lips, his arm, his body against mine. I spun around, suddenly needy, cognizant only of his absence, and caught him in my arms before he could get away any further.

His hands circled my wrists, unwrapping and holding me at arms length. "I said there were no expectations this weekend, Isabella."

I pulled my arms from his hands and repositioned them around his neck.

"But I didn't."

Three words and I was asking for certain death. Three words and our lips collided. Our bodies flush, Edward stumbled backward, pulling me closer, pulling me on top of him. His hands were at my back, then under my blouse. I blinked and it was gone. I needed more and grappled with his belt and his fly. Edward's chest heaved, and he pulled back, panting.

"Wow," I whispered.

A hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

I brushed my lips against his. It was warm and soft and my heart quickened in my chest. He took the back of my head and pulled me closer. His lips parted and I melted. I pulled at his t-shirt and it was gone.

"Do you want to - " he asked, his lips against mine.

"You. I want you. Just you."

In a breath it was just him and I, finally skin against skin with the stars overhead. Thankfully, instead of swirling around us, they remained in the sky bathing us in their twinkling light. Edward faltered for a moment; his hand tentative over my breast, looking from his body to mine. So I lifted and guided, and sunk slowly, luxuriously onto his lap.

Edward's head fell back and a strangled sound rushed from his lips. I lifted and settled, forehead to forehead, then lips to lips.

"Isabella," he rasped, meeting my rhythm, his hands on my hips.

"Call me Bella?" I asked.

"Bella." My name fell from his lips, but was also borne in the air around me. It came from somewhere deep within the earth. "Oh, fuck, Bella."

"Jesus," I agreed.

"God be damned."

"Yes. I know."

xXxXx

"You're a goddess," Edward murmured the next morning as the first rays of sunshine fell over our pillows. Golden light shone like a halo around his head, and I knew what he meant. He could absolutely be mistaken for a god.

Instead, I pulled him closer. Instead, I lifted my head and offered my lips for a kiss.

"Simply devine," he mumbled.

I giggled and shook my head. "I'm just a girl from Gila Bend."

He pulled back and, regarding me intently, tugged at the sheets, slowly exposing my breasts. I felt my cheeks burning and covered my face with my hands, suddenly shy.

"You're not '_just_' anything," he insisted, before I felt his warm breath over my breast.

"You're most certainly…" I felt the flick of his tongue and I wriggled beneath him.

"Most definitely…" He left a trail of burning kisses from between my breasts to my navel, pushing the sheet steadily down, past my waist, then my hips.

"Most deliciously…" His lips traveled lower. He tore the sheet out of the way and I squirmed until he pinned my hips to the bed with his weight.

"Completely…" He lifted a thigh over his shoulder. Spread in the sunlight, his breath was warm between my legs. "Absolutely, a woman."

xXxXx

The rest of the weekend passed in a heady haze of lips and limbs, hot showers and room service. Edward compared me to a siren when I got him to brave the sands at three in the morning, peeled off his bathrobe, and pulled him into the waves. He called me a nymph when I gazed up at him as I lowered myself to my knees in the shower. He called me Bella every time he came.

I think Edward asked me to run away with him as we were leaving, but for the first time in a long time I didn't want to get away. Edward looked into my eyes and not only did he see me, he wanted to know more. He asked about my parents and grandparents, my aunts, uncles and cousins. I left out my step-father. He was nothing to me but a stain on my soul.

"We could move to the East Coast," he offered yet again as we went shopping for a change of clothes on our way out of town.

I stopped, sundress in hand. "We?"

"Well, I…" Edward hedged.

"What about your businesses?"

"Maybe I'm tired of them." He shrugged.

I grabbed him by a belt loop and pulled him in for a kiss. "Edward, sometimes, I swear, it's like you're a different person all of a sudden."

Edward's Adam's apple bobbed in his throat. His eyes darted about the store before they settled back on me. "Perhaps I am."

"Since when?"

"Isn't it obvious?" he murmured. "Since you."

* * *

**A/N: Those last several swoony-worthy sentences are by FictionFreak95. Hades would call her one of the muses. I'm lucky to call her my friend. Thanks to SereneInNC for her pinch-hitting beta services, and to everyone who's taken the time to review. I'm going to be honest, there were lots more words about their weekend, but a chapter has to end. Who wants to hear more? Tell me in your review. Until next Friday… xoxo ~M**


	6. The Dark

**Chapter 6 - The Dark**

I came up with the idea for Edward's surprise as we lay gasping and spent on the beach, with limbs intertwined and covered with sand which Edward miraculously, in the moment, didn't seem to mind. Overhead, faint stars winked through passing clouds. Edward held me close and scattered kisses in my hair, along my neck, over my shoulder.

I sighed. "Aren't the stars pretty?"

Edward glanced at the sky overhead, then peered down at me. "They're more beautiful reflected in your eyes."

I giggled, then pushed him onto his back so I could rest my head on his shoulder as I gazed skyward. My hand skimmed from his chest to his abs, then rested on the handhold of his hip.

"The stars back home in Arizona are the brightest. You can see straight to infinity out in the desert."

"It's easy to feel trapped without them," he replied as his hand also wandered. "To forget about the far reaches of the galaxy."

"Good thing they're there every night." I kissed his shoulder, looking out into the inky night.

"Not for me."

"Yeah, the light pollution back in LA's the worst. Is it why you did that back in your office?"

"Did what?" he asked, pulling me on top of him. Cupping my face, pulling me in for a kiss.

"The stars?" I asked, seeing them in Edward's eyes now. They burned orange, like little fires in the blackest night.

Edward smiled, a self-satisfied smile. "_You_ saw stars when we kissed. I said no such thing."

I flexed my hips. "Let me try again," I asked, giggling, cradling his face in my hand. "Give me another shot. Let me make you see stars?"

And he let me try.

xXxXx

Sneaking texts with Mike Newton was the most difficult part of the plan. For one, I was mostly naked after our first night in the hotel. No pockets meant no cover. Secondly, it was easy to get distracted hanging out in the nude with Edward. He didn't seem to need sleep. He didn't tire. He was insatiable. As we were packing up on our last morning, I hid my phone in the pocket of a fluffy hotel robe and ducked into the bathroom. Edward was still naked when I emerged. If he saw me try to unobtrusively drop the phone back in my pocket, he didn't let on for a second.

"Check-out's in like twenty minutes," I warned him. He rose from the chair, and sunlight from the wall of windows streamed all around him and between his legs. He was beautiful, all long lines and defined muscles. He stalked over to me and pulled at the tie around my waist. "May I?" he asked.

I shivered. "Just twenty minutes," I whispered.

"Let's waste not a one."

The easiest part of the plan was getting there. Edward didn't put up much of a fight when I asked him if I could drive back home. In all fairness, I didn't give him much of a choice. With a finger to his chest he let me back him up against the wall in the little boutique where we were shopping on our way out of town. My breasts skimmed his chest as I went up on tiptoe and brushed my lips over his. I nudged my thigh between his legs and a low, strangled sound rumbled deep in his chest. I slipped my hand in his front pocket, slowly, thoroughly searching for his…

I pulled away from Edward and dangled his car keys in front of his face. "Time to get back home," I chirped.

Edward's jaw was slack, his eyes as dark as night. His chest rose and fell like he'd just run for miles. For an instant, I worried he might take me right there in the middle of the little store, just to teach me not to toy with him. For a second, I actually wanted it.

xXxXx

"In a hurry to get back to the hounds?" Edward asked, eyeing the speedometer.

My car was older than I was, and it shook when I tried pushing it past sixty. In Edward's car, I had to hold myself back. In Edward's car, we might just about make it to Palomar College before the end of Mike's shift.

"Not exactly," I hedged.

"Is it the groceries, then? How many lemons will I need to purchase for you to slow down and enjoy our time together, before I lose you to your good deeds?"

"I _am_ enjoying this," I assured him, reaching across the console and taking his hand in mine. Somehow, the touch didn't take my breath away. Somehow it didn't create an electric force field filling the car. His hand was warm and strong, and he smiled when our fingers interlocked.

"These past few days," he began. "They've changed me, Isabella. Just when I was certain it was impossible."

"It was really something," I agreed. "But I want to make sure this isn't just a one way street."

Edward glanced out the front windshield, then back at me. "The highway clearly goes in both directions."

I rolled my eyes. "This weekend, Edward. I could never pay you back for the room or the meals. I could probably only reimburse you for half the beach towels, even. I'll take Joe, Nick, and the narwhal, by the way."

"What you've given me is priceless." Edward raked his eyes over me. I shifted in the driver's seat, my whole being alert and alive with recent memories.

"Yeah, well, I'm not into trading my body for fancy hotel rooms."

Edward huffed. "That's not what I -"

I pulled my hand from his and placed a finger over his lips. "Shush, Edward, okay? I'm paying you back. You're letting me. It means I'm driving fast."

"I don't need your money, Isabella. I have plenty of money."

"Maybe I need this, then. Maybe I'll surprise you. Maybe I've figured out what you need too."

xXxXx

The parking lot behind the college was nondescript and nearly empty on a Sunday afternoon. Dry brown mountains scattered with succulents dotted the horizon, reminding me of home. I led Edward to a gray brick wall behind a stand of evergreens, and stopped to send off a text outside an emergency exit.

"Breaking and entering?" he asked. "Perhaps you know me better than I imagined."

"What?" I asked, glancing around to make sure we hadn't been spotted.

Before Edward could answer, the door swung open. Mike's ruddy face lit when he saw me standing there. "Bella! I couldn't believe when I got your text this morning. I never thought you'd -" As he pushed the door wider, Edward came into view. "- Oh."

I grabbed Edward's hand, trying to make my intentions clear. "Mike, this is my, uh -"

" - boyfriend?" Edward cut in. Was it a question? Was he my boyfriend?

"Yeah?" I asked, glancing up at him.

He beamed down at me. "Well, I mean -"

"Is there another word for -"

"Ahem." Mike cleared his throat.

I giggled. "Mike, this is Edward, my -"

"- boyfriend," Edward repeated.

"This is why you texted?" Mike asked, looking between me and Edward.

I shrugged. "It's what I thought I'd get the man who has everything."

Mike shook his head and stepped aside. "Okay. Yeah, sure, come on in."

We walked down a long hallway with fluorescent lights overhead and linoleum covered floors. "I've got to lock up behind you," Mike explained. "Can't leave the place unsecured. I'll let you in, get it all going, and be back after I make a couple rounds. Maybe an hour?" he asked, flicking lights as he went, then pulling open a heavy wooden door.

"What is this place?" Edward asked, walking inside the circular room and gazing overhead at the dark, domed ceiling.

"I've got to nix the sound, okay Bella?" Mike asked. He fiddled with a panel behind the last row of seats. "I can't chance anyone hearing. They'd string me up by my balls."

"Wouldn't want that," Edward mumbled.

I nudged Edward's shoulder and shook my head. After all this planning, I'd die if Mike kicked us out now.

"It's no problem, Mike. I really appreciate this."

Mike's face looked flushed as he glanced up from the panel. "You got it, Bella. I told you any time. Just keep it down. Okay you crazy kids?"

Edward glared at my friend like he was trying to burn a hole through Mike's head with his mind.

"You've never been here before?" I asked Edward, taking his hand and leading him to the back row of seats, away from Mike.

Edward shook his head. "It's not unlike Thonos."

"Hmm, sounds familiar. Is it one of your night clubs?"

The lights went down around us, and then in a flash of brilliance, the night sky glittered to life over head.

"What in blazes?" Edward mumbled.

"See ya Bella!" Mike called, as the heavy door thumped behind him.

I wrapped my arm around Edward's waist. "I wasn't sure I actually made you see stars when we, um, you know." I couldn't help but giggle. "You seemed so sad when you said you missed them back home. In LA."

In an instant my back was against the wall and Edward was towering over me. He caressed my face and traced my lips with his thumb. "You brought me the heavens?"

I nodded, pretty pleased with myself.

Then I was in his arms and he was pulling my sundress over my head as galaxies expanded and supernovas burst overhead.

xXxXx

Edward reclined his seat as far as it would go, and I lay curled in his lap, sated, satisfied, quiet. Content to feel the slow rise and fall of Edward's chest. I was pretty certain he liked my gift.

"Tell me what we're looking at?" I asked. Any man who could paint the night sky in detail, like he had in his office, knew a thing or two about astronomy.

"They're stars, Isabella," he murmured, placing a kiss on my head.

"Come on, Edward. Please? Let me into that head of yours. You're always like, 'I'm going to tell you about myself in riddles, Isabella'" I said, in the deepest, most proper voice I could muster.

"That is not how I speak, Isabella," he protested.

I couldn't help but laugh. It was _exactly_ how he spoke.

"Not quite," he tried again.

I laughed harder, my whole body shaking against him. Then I felt Edward's body shudder. His laughter boomed and seemed to reverberate in the air around us. Edward's eyes were shut tight, but his limbs were loose as his chest shook. His smile was wide, uninhibited.

"You're happy?" I asked.

"Blissfully."

"Tell me about the stars, Edward?"

He seemed to consider my request for a moment, then took my hand and held it to his chest. "They say the ancient people of the earth invented constellations to make sense of the world."

"It doesn't seem like you believe it, though."

Edward shook his head. "What greater evidence is there of divine power than the universe around us?"

"God?" I asked, dubiously.

Edward shrugged. "God. _Gods_. Divinity. Call it what you will."

"I call it space."

Edward narrowed his eyes. "Do you see that one. There?" he asked, nodding toward a spot at the edge of the dome.

"Where?"

Edward pointed in the same direction he'd nodded, and it almost seemed like a set of stars glimmered in response. "Capricornus was the first constellation, created right after Zeus was given dominion over the skies. It's an ode to his nanny."

"His nanny was a -"

"Goat."

I couldn't help but laugh. Edward chuckled before continuing. "It's what they say, anyway. Stories this old aren't always accurate." He smiled up at the night sky, looking from one star formation to the next, almost like my dad used to look when he was lost in a book. It was so good to see Edward happy and content, almost like he was at home.

"Are there actual, supposedly accurate stories about the constellations?"

"Well, since the sky belongs to Zeus, he used it like a blank canvas to write about his life and his lineage." Edward pointed toward the middle of the sky overhead. "There, those stars... Do you see them?" Edward asked.

I squinted, trying to tease out the formation he was pointing to. A rhombus with two tails seemed to sparkle and stand out among the rest of the little lights overhead.

"It's his son, Hercules. He's Zeus' favorite, so he placed him right in the middle of the sky so no one can forget it. Zeus thought every miniscule thing Hercules did was some kind of amazing fete. He really loves that kid. There's one time Hercules literally just trampled over a crab, and Zeus wrote about it in the stars. See there?" Edward asked, pointing to the edge of the night sky. "Cancer's the crab Hercules stepped on while fighting hydra."

"Those?" I asked. Edward took my hand in his, and moved slightly to the right, and a little forkful of stars glittered for us.

"And then, over there," Edward murmured, guiding my hand to the left. A faint line emerged, connecting a nest of stars that looked like a little mouse.

"Leo, the lion. Hercules slayed him in the first of his twelve trials."

I glanced between the sparkling blob and Edward's upturned face. "That's a bigger deal than the crab, right? I mean, the guy killed a lion."

Edward shrugged. "He's a demi-god. He could have snapped his fingers and been done with it. Hercules was all about drama."

I laughed and placed a kiss on Edward's temple. I was clearly wrong in my assumptions. Forget about English and anthropology; he'd almost definitely majored in Greek mythology in college.

"Then over there's another one of Zeus' sons, Ares. There's some of his extended family too. And there, yes, there's Cassiopeia."

Edward's voice faltered. His smile faded. His hand, which had been rubbing my thigh, clenched into a fist.

"What's the matter?" I asked, taking his hand in mind. I massaged his fingers until they relaxed, then rubbed little circles over his palm.

"It was eons ago, but gods never change. You know?" Edward shook his head. "Cassiopeia provoked one of Zeus' brothers."

"The God has brothers?"

"Two actually. Casseopia offended the younger of them, Poseidon."

"How do you offend a god?"

"She was beautiful and she knew it. She was confident and wouldn't apologize for it."

I smiled. "She sounds like Rose."

"It's not the comparison I was making." Edward slowly unfurled my limbs, stretching out my legs and pulling my arms over my head, so I mirrored Cassiopeia's pose in the sky. Even under the cover of darkness, I was completely exposed to his inspection. I felt my cheeks burning, and tried to duck my head. "You put her beauty to shame."

I wriggled from Edward's grasp and wrapped my arms around his neck. "What's the rest of her story?"

"Well, she angered Poseidon and Zeus because she was willing to challenge them. She wouldn't back down, so they hung her upside down and chained her to the stars, where she remains to this day."

I gasped. "They're evil."

Edward shook his head. His laughter took on a bitter tone. "They're gods."

I shuddered. "What about the other brother? Was he any better?"

Edward took a deep breath before responding. "Most would say far worse."

"Well, where's he?" I asked, looking aloft, searching for another little glittering cluster that would lead the way to a different branch of Zeus' family tree. The stars had stopped blinking, though.

"He's doesn't belong there."

"What's his name?" I asked.

Edward slid me off his lap and bent forward to retrieve my sundress from the floor. "We should pull ourselves together. The boy will be back soon."

xXxXx

Edward was quiet on our way back to Los Angeles. Miles passed and the city rose before us, foreboding in the dimming light. I had the irrational desire to ask Edward to take the nearest exit, so we could turn back and flee, just like he'd suggested earlier in the day.

"You liked the planetarium, right?" I asked, sneaking a glance in his direction.

"'Like' isn't a strong enough word. I'd forgotten how thoughtful and absolutely good people might be. I'm not worthy of you."

"Edward, we've been through this. That's ridiculous. I'm hardly a saint. I mean -"

My heart hammered in my chest. This time its malfunctioning had nothing to do with Edward. I'd almost casually shared my biggest secret.

"There's nothing you need to hide from me, Isabella."

I smiled bravely. "You really like me?" I asked.

"Isabella, I -"

I waited for whatever silly, old-fashioned phrase he'd thought of to reassure me with, but the words didn't come. Instead, Edward seemed to carefully study the road ahead of us. I guess he and I were both at a loss for words. The first notes of an old ballad floated from the speakers.

"My mom's the one who loved Prince," I murmured. "I hear his music and I think of her."

"Yet you don't want to return home?"

"I might want to. It's complicated." I glanced at Edward again. This time he was watching me. He reached for my hand.

"People tend to complicate things in their minds, when the facts are often black and white."

I wiped an errant tear from my eye. "Then I choose black. Definitely the darkest shade of black."

Edward pulled my hand into his lap and I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"Don't be ridiculous. What torments you?"

"I stole a lemon the other day," I began. I sniffed.

"Again with the citrus. That's not a mortal sin."

"It's the first thing I took since I was a kid."

"Was it a lemon back then too? A lime, perhaps?"

I couldn't help but smile through the tears. "_Order of the Phoenix_," I admitted quietly.

"Phoenixes may be intelligent, but they aren't known to give commands."

"Oh my goodness. Like Harry Potter, Edward."

"I'm not following. He worked in clay?"

I shook my head. Edward might have filled his entire office with books, but we clearly had two very different reading lists. Eventually, we'd have to fix that. No one should live to be Edward's age - whatever mysterious age it was - without reading Harry Potter.

"Dad was so sick back then. He was behind with his ordering."

Edward sighed. "I thought the phoenix was giving the orders. Isabella, if you're going to tell me stories, please tell them one at a time."

I laughed and turned my head to kiss Edward's cheek. "Only if you call me Bella."

"Bella, if -"

"Thank you! Now, as I was _trying_ to explain, dad owned a bookstore. Up to then, we'd read every single Harry Potter together. I mean, I don't remember him reading me the first book. I was just three, I think. When _Order of the Phoenix_ came out, dad was in bed so much. He was missing things and he never got the book in stock. So I went to the mall, to one of those big chain stores dad always said was slowly putting him out of business, and I just took it. I thought maybe I could read it to him. I was so proud."

"Were you punished?" Edward asked.

I shook my head. "No one found out. I got away with it. I always do. It doesn't mean I don't regret any of it."

Edward shook his head. "Regret is a useless emotion."

"It may be useless, but it's still there."

"Do you regret this weekend?" he asked quietly.

"Oh my g -"

"God has nothing to do with it."

"I could never, Edward. Do you?" I glanced up at him. Edward's eyes were still fiery, but it was the soft glow of a fireplace at the end of a day.

"Not for a second. Would you tell me more about your home?"

Somehow, I found it easy to do. I told him about my dad's bookstore, with its rows upon rows of books from the floor all the way to the tin metal ceilings. I described the big front window, where dad always let me help with the displays. I told him about how things changed when dad got sick, and about how we had to close the store after he passed away.

"She tried to sell it, books and all, but the buyer wanted to turn it into a macrobiotic cafe, or something. So we locked the books away in a big shed behind our house. Every once in a while me or mom would pull one out and read it together, and it was almost like dad was there with us."

Edward let me rattle on. I told him about mom and how she loved music, and about our choreographed living room dance-a-thons. I explained how we'd drive through the desert late at night with the windows rolled down, and the music turned so high it was hard to think. I didn't tell Edward what we were trying to get away from. I didn't tell him why we wouldn't have wanted to think. Even so, I felt lighter by the time we made it back to the apartment.

"Are you sure I can't drop you at my penthouse?" Edward asked.

It would have been easy to avoid real life. It's what I did well, really. It took strength I didn't know I had to get up and out of his car.

"I wish, but I've got to change out of these clothes and check on all the stuff your bouncer said he'd handle this weekend. I mean, it sounds weird even saying it."

Edward's smile was slightly menacing. "I'll tell Emmett you think he's weird."

"Oh my god, no! He's like a saint for taking over my life for me."

"I assure you he's no saint."

"Come by later?" I asked. "I could make us some dinner?"

While I needed to get back to my life, I was more certain than ever I wanted Edward to be a part of it. After our weekend, I couldn't imagine spending the night alone. I left him with a reminder to bring a change of clothes, and a kiss that left no doubt about why. He left with a promise he'd return.

xXxXx

Back home, I hightailed it to my bedroom. Rose was the most meticulous and organized woman I knew, so most of the apartment was prepared for a visit from the Queen of England. My bedroom was a different story. I glanced around at the unmade bed, the secondhand dresser with its drawers hanging open and piles of wrinkled clothing inside. It was a barren mess. There were no pictures on the walls, no curtains on the windows, and no rug on the floor. I was hardly there. I was hidden in the cardboard boxes stacked in the corner.

I'd just planned on tidying things before Edward arrived, but it clearly wouldn't suffice.

I hefted a box onto my little desk, pushing my laptop aside. On top I found some old 4H awards, a bowling trophy from when I was twelve, and my high school yearbook. Then there were dusty old corsages, a stuffed saguaro cactus, and a picture of me, mom and dad camping in the mountains outside Tucson. Underneath all of it, lining the bottom of the box, were the books I'd been able to hide away and save. My step-dad sold most of dad's inventory for pennies on the dollar. I think he'd just wanted to clear out the shed because mom told him he couldn't keep his guns in the house. I didn't let James completely erase dad from my life, though. I found the key to the deadbolt he'd used to lock the shed, and late at night, under the cover of the night sky, I slipped into the shed and took back my favorites.

Here in my bedroom I blinked back tears as I held _To Kill a Mockingbird _in my hands. It was well worn, the pages yellowed at the edges. I remember reading it under my covers at night because mom said I was too young. I didn't grasp most of it, but I knew it was important to dad, and that was reason enough for me. Atticus was a smart, devoted father. He was almost as good as mine. I didn't realize tears were running down my face until I heard the click and slide of the deadbolt on the front door.

"Bella?" Rose hollered from the living room.

"In here," I called, wiping my eyes.

I was about to place _To Kill a Mockingbird_ back in the box, but instead I dusted it off and placed it on the windowsill, then reached into the box for some more. I may not have had as many books as Edward did, but it was a start.

Rose gently knocked on my door before pushing it open. "Bella?" she asked, peeking inside.

I rushed at my friend and threw my arms around her.

"Woah, hey there," she said, patting my head, then holding me at arms' length. "Were you crying? Did _he_ do something?"

"If it hadn't been for you… Oh my god, Rose. My weekend was just… heavenly. Seriously heavenly." I let go of my friend and twirled, then threw myself onto my unmade bed. I buried my face in the pillow and screamed.

The mattress dipped. I felt Rose's hand on the back of my head. "Hey, Bella?"

I glanced up from the pillows. "I am _not_ kissing and telling. Well, okay, I'll kiss and tell, but nothing else. Just the kissing. We kissed. A lot."

Rose bit her bottom lip and fiddled with a cuticle. "I'm not exactly sure I did the right thing here, Bella."

I scrambled to sitting and attempted to refocus, suddenly concerned. "Are _you_ okay? Did something happen while I was gone? Was it the bouncer? Emmett?"

Rose smirked like she was trying to hold in a smile. "I don't kiss and tell either."

"Oh my God! _Really_?" I asked, dreaming of double dates and dance parties at Brick and Mortar.

Rose pushed her hair behind her ears and pursed her lips. "I'm not here to talk to you about Emmett. I'm really scared for you."

"No, no, no! It's okay, Rose. Edward said he's not going to stalk me anymore."

"_Anymore_?"

"Well, it wasn't actual, real-life stalking. He's just, I don't know. He's… just _there_, and I'm glad he's there, and he's -"

Rose stood up and walked over to the piles of my old life scattered all over the desk. She sifted through it, plucking at fake flowers and beaded headbands. "He's mixed up in some scary business, Bella."

"Well, yeah. I'm sure the nightclub racket is cut throat, especially in L.A."

She picked up my trophy, passing it from hand to hand. "That's not what I'm talking about. Did he tell you why he took you away for the weekend?"

I smiled. I tingled from head to toe as I remembered how he'd phrased his explanation, and all of its implications. "He wanted to 'get to know me,'" I emphasized his words with air quotes. "By going away together we had some solid one-on-one time."

Rose slammed the trophy back on the desk and I jumped to my feet in surprise.

"He's such an asshole!"

"What in the world, Rose?"

My roommate took my hands in hers. "I think you could be in real danger, Bella. There was this big guy. This goon. Some gambling, mafia guy who was looking for Edward. He got into it with Emmett."

"Someone fought Emmett?" It was almost inconceivable. I'd never seen anyone built larger than the bouncer.

"Someone kicked his ass is more like it," Rose replied.

"Are you okay?"

"Bella, I'm fine, but I don't like any of this. Assward tried telling us he has a gambling problem, but I don't think that's it. This goes way deeper than a few games of blackjack. Between you and me, he's not a very good liar."

"He doesn't lie," I insisted, certain it was true.

"And I can't believe he just left you here alone, while a dangerous nut job's on the loose looking for the two of you."

"Edward's coming right back, Rose. I invited him over for dinner."

"I don't know which is worse, leaving you alone or putting you in danger with his presence. Maybe you need to get out of here, instead."

"And go where?" I challenged.

"The police?"

"Right. To the police. And say what exactly?"

xXxXx

Before Rosalie left for a business dinner, she made me promise to keep the door and windows locked. She left me with the name and number of the restaurant where I could find her, like I was twelve. She left me with a loaded revolver in the hallway closet. She left me with ingredients for spaghetti Bolognese scattered all over the kitchen, a load of wash in the dryer, and a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. There was no point in making dinner if Edward was some kind of criminal. There was no point in making my bed up with clean sheets if he was on the run from the mob.

Everything Rose told me made sense. It filled in so many of the mysterious pieces of the weekend; why Edward had suddenly whisked me away without any warning, why he was evasive when I asked him anything personal, and why he was so insistent I deserve someone better.

Yet, even as I counted Edward's potential misdeeds against him, it was hard to ignore the little voice in the back of my head. Who was I to demand a moral, upstanding citizen in the man I was dating? In my _boyfriend_. Yes, that's what he'd called himself. My boyfriend was probably a criminal. His girlfriend was kind of a criminal too.

I grabbed my hoodie and headed for the front door. My car was still back at Brick and Mortar, but it was close enough to walk. I pulled my phone from my pocket. My hand shook as I typed out a text.

**Edward, we need to talk**.

* * *

**A/N: Jo and I got a little lost this week. We could write these two forever, but then it wouldn't be a story with a beginning, a middle, and (sniff) an end. Thanks to SereneInNC, my new full-time beta extraordinaire. Thanks to KatHat over at A Different Forest for mentioning this little fic! And thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed. Did someone ask for a skinny dipping outtake? I think they did. I think it's an excellent idea… xoxo ~M**


	7. The Desk

**Chapter 7 - The Desk**

**Edward, we need to talk**.

Streetlights lit the sidewalk and I walked from one pool of light to the next. My footsteps echoed on the concrete as leaves rustled overhead. Something skittered in the underbrush next to me, and I edged closer to the road.

I glanced at my cell, but there was no reply.

It had been a silly thing to text. I'd just spent days with Edward. He wasn't a talker. It was only in the planetarium that he'd opened up… about constellations.

A car came too fast around the corner, its lights momentarily blinding. Kids shouted something at me as it passed, and I backed away from the curb, back toward the shadows. The wind picked up, plastering my shirt to my body, and I stopped to lean against a fence to zip up my hoodie.

Blue light flashed in the air around me, and I jumped and looked around for the source. The streetlight overhead crackled, then popped, and my pool of light disappeared. The air shook and a bolt of lightening cut across the night sky. I glanced at my phone once more before plunging my hands into my pockets, bracing my body against the wind, and picking up the pace as I headed to the club.

At any other point since my life fell apart, I would have simply walked away. It would have been so easy. I'd done it before, over and over. I thought about my barren bedroom. I'd only opened one of the boxes in the corner; I was still half packed.

For some reason, though, I couldn't stay away. Instead, I was running to confess my sins to Edward, like I was Catholic and he was my priest. Kind of. Priests were celibate. I shivered. I simply couldn't expect Edward to be honest with me if I wasn't willing to tell the truth. I didn't want anything between us - secrets or clothing, if I was being honest.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I jumped.

**Instinct would have me at your home in minutes, instead I'm typing into this damned contraption.**

Whether he was a criminal or not, I couldn't help but smile. I walked faster as I typed a reply. Turning the corner, I left my residential neighborhood behind and came to a street lined with darkened warehouses, all closed on a Sunday evening. Here, the streetlights were more spaced out and the sidewalk was uneven and cracked. Leaves blew from the trees and tangled with the blowing strands of my hair.

**Rose says you're not being honest with me.**

I hit send just as lightning flashed around me. Another peal of thunder ripped through the air. I heard the crack of a tree limb and the crashing rush of leaves and limbs, as something large tumbled to the ground. I stopped to stare at my cell, willing Edward to reply, but those little blue dots didn't appear on the bottom of the screen. I typed furiously as the first drops of rain started to fall.

**I know what you're going to say. **

**You don't care what Rose thinks. **

**You care what I think.**

**I want to think you're being honest with me, but Rose wouldn't lie.**

I looked at each of my unanswered texts. There were no little dots. Edward wasn't typing a reply. I took a deep breath and typed a question.

**Would you lie?**

My finger hovered over the send button. Another flash of lightning lit the world around me, highlighting just how alone I was on this stretch of road, standing in the middle of an industrial wasteland.

I bit my lip and hit send. His reply came faster than the lightning in the night sky. I blinked and it was there.

**I'm a liar, Isabella.**

I gasped and my phone clattered onto the sidewalk. Another car careened down the road as I crouched down to reach for my cell. It's screen was cracked, but the message was still clear.

**She says you've put me in danger** \- I texted.

I hit send as thunder cracked overhead. Leaves swirled through the sky. Branches smacked into a chain link fence, and clanging filled the air. Footsteps echoed around me, and I turned in place, but there was no one there. My phone buzzed.

**But I've never lied to you**.

I wanted to believe Edward, but I could tell by the way my heart had bottomed out in the pit of my stomach that it wasn't so simple.

**You haven't told me the whole truth** \- I texted.

**I haven't**

I sniffed. At least he agreed with me. Raindrops mingled with tears on my cheeks. The wind howled around the corners of deserted warehouses.

**Can you?**

I hit send and held my breath. There was no reply. No little dots. Nothing.

Something scuttled through the underbrush on the other side of the road and I jumped. I thought I heard footsteps again, and I glanced around the parked cars lining the side of the road, but didn't see anyone. I could just about see bright lights from Brick and Mortar's parking lot in the distance.

Without a reply, I didn't know if I had the will to keep going. I'd never felt about anyone the way I felt about Edward. No one ever had me running away with them for a weekend or running through a rainstorm just to get closer to them. No one else had ever made my lungs and heart freeze, or made it seem like stars were falling from the sky when we kissed. No one ever made me want to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

If Edward wasn't willing to tell the truth about himself, it wouldn't matter. It would mean he didn't care enough about me to tell me about the danger I was in. I wouldn't know how to protect myself. It would mean he didn't believe that, after I knew about him, I'd still… love him.

I gasped.

I loved him.

My phone buzzed and my heart stuttered. I was afraid to look at the screen. I was afraid to see what the _man I loved_ wrote.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes as I pulled my phone out of my pocket.

**I want to.**

**My whole life I've had people tell me who I was and what they expected of me.**

**My whole life I believed it. **

**For a moment I wanted to believe I was something different.**

I squealed and clutched the phone to my chest.

**I understand** \- I typed and hurried toward the lights of the club. The rain picked up, drenching my hair and streaming down my face.

**You couldn't** \- came his reply. I laughed and ran harder. He didn't know it yet, but I understood exactly what he meant. I had to believe he would accept me though, and I would accept him right back.

**I know there are things I haven't said** \- he continued.

Truer words had never been typed onto the screen of an iPhone. I laugh again as I ducked underneath a tree just outside the parking lot.

**We need to talk** \- I wrote.

**We do** \- he agreed.

I typed a quick message and hit send.

**We need to tell the whole truth going forward.**

Footfalls slapped through the rain behind me, and I spun around to find empty pavement. A bolt of lightning split the night sky in half as the world flashed bluegreen. I made a mad dash across the parking lot and just about ran head on into Emmett's chest.

"Woah, woah, woah," he said, pulling me under the overhang and holding me at arms' length. "You're Bella, right? The dog walker, and the meal delivery girl, and -"

"And Edward's girlfriend." I wiped the rain from my eyes.

"Girlfriend, huh?"

I nodded emphatically, probably grinning like a lunatic.

"He seem strange to you?" the bouncer asked.

"What? I, uh -" My phone buzzed in my hand.

**I'm not who you think I am, Isabella. In fact, I'm not even who I want to be. **

"Is that?" Emmett asked.

I nodded. "My boyfriend." Edward was wrong. I knew who he was, and I was in love with him.

"Oh my god. Get in there, girl," Emmett said with a wink, holding open the door.

"Thanks for taking care of my life for me. Edward just kind of -"

"Listen, it's about time. It's all good. Just don't tell your _boyfriend_ I said that."

Brick and Mortar was half empty when I rushed through the front doors. A few couples swayed back and forth on the dance floor, a handful of people sat alone on their barstools. I noticed the DJ waving his hands over his head, almost like he was trying to get my attention. I glanced over my shoulder to see who he was gesturing towards, but there was no one else nearby. Suddenly, Prince was counting and the DJ was shouting along with with him.

"_One, two, one, two, three_…"

The first strains of _Raspberry Beret_ filled the air and I couldn't help but bop along to the beat. The pretty bartender from the other night waved at me from behind the bar and held out a tall glass of water. I shook my head and giggled, and she nodded her head in the direction of the back hallway.

_I was working part time at the five and dime_

**Let's pull off the masks** \- I texted Edward as I ducked down the hallway. Couples moaned in the shadows.

_My boss was Mr. McGee_

**Let's be honest. **

I walked past restrooms, past the kitchen. Thunder clapped, but it seemed so far away now. Here, in Brick and Mortar, in Edward's world, I was safe. It was so far away from the sky, so far away from the shore, but it was his - a world he'd created. It was where I belonged.

_He told me several times he didn't like my kind_

**Because Edward**

I stood outside his office with my heart pounding loud enough to nearly drown out Bobby Z's drumming.

'_Cause I was a bit too leisurely_

**Yes?** \- he texted in reply.

Before I could think twice, I tapped the phone icon. I heard Edward's cell ringing from his office. And ringing. And ringing. What would I say if it went to voicemail? I stumbled as I walked closer, but caught myself against the office door.

_Seems that I was busy doing something close to nothing_

_But different from the day before_

The ringing stopped.

"Edward?" I asked, and waited. "Edward?"

Oh no he didn't. I knocked, then tried turning the doorknob, but it was locked. I heard his feet coming closer. The door was thrown open.

_And that's when I saw her, ooh I saw her_

"I love you," I whispered.

Edward froze, his mouth hung open, his hand still on the door.

"I love you," I said louder, in case he didn't hear over the music. It felt right. I was certain. I couldn't help but smile. "I lo-"

Before I could finish, he reached for me and I was in his arms, his lips over mine as he slammed the door behind us. We stumbled backwards as he peeled off my soaking wet hoodie. Then his hands were in my hair, on my ass, underneath my T-shirt. I couldn't keep up. He leaned over me and I lay me down on his desk, and I wrapped my legs around his waist unwilling to let him go. I blinked, and there was Edward, his eyes as black as night. Behind him was the sky - Edward's sky.

His chest rose and fell. He cradled my face in his hand and gazed into my eyes. "I love you too," he rasped, his voice thick, cracking with emotion.

"Show me the stars?" I asked breathlessly.

Edward practically growled. I blinked and my shirt was gone, and my pants, and his clothing, and with a thrust he was inside - sending burning ice through my limbs. His teeth ran along my jawline, down my neck. I blinked again and the air glittered and popped, and it felt like flames were lapping at my body. His skin seared mine where it touched; my lips, my breasts, deep inside. I shouted his name, gladly consumed by his fire, more alive than I'd ever felt before.

With another thrust, the ceiling fell, then exploded into stars. The constellations he'd shown me floated around us, blinking in silver, yellow, and pretty blush pink, until they turned to glowing embers and floating ash. With another thrust, the sky overhead was the darkest night and Edward and I glowed in the void - the only two people in existence. His tongue lapped at the juncture of my neck, over my pulse, and I clawed at his back and my heels dug into him, and thunder cracked as I cried out, as he shuddered over me.

xXxXx

Afterwards, we lay on our sides catching our breath. Papers, pens, binders and books lay scattered on the floor around the desk. Edward pushed the hair from my face behind my ear, and his hand trailed down my neck, to my breast, where it lingered. Where he pulled and played, making me squirm. He pressed his lips to mine.

His eyes glittered. "I thought we were supposed to communicate electronically instead of appearing on one another's doorstep."

I couldn't help but smile. I shrugged. "I did. Technically. Kind of."

Edward laughed, shaking the air around us and the floor underneath us. I rolled over onto my back to check to make sure the ceiling hadn't really exploded. The stars were overhead once more, thank goodness.

I sighed. "We didn't talk," I whispered.

Edward twirled a lock of my hair. "You've already said all the words I needed to hear."

I wanted it to be true. Glancing over at Edward as he gazed at me, I knew it would be so easy to do this again. We could run away and find some sailboat so Edward could navigate by the stars as he told me their story.

"I love you," he murmured, his lips brushing against mine.

"I love you too, but we still have to talk."

Edward sighed. I felt the uneven rise and fall of his chest before he sat up, and offered a hand to pull me with him. "If you insist, Bella."

Hearing my nickname on his lips made me desperate to reconsider. I raked my eyes over him, and I knew if I asked, we could take it to the couch, or the floor, or up against a wall.

I took a deep breath and pulled my shirt over my head. "Mind if I use the ladies' room?" I asked.

Edward nodded, resigned. "Be my guest."

xXxXx

In the bathroom I splashed water on my face, then took a few deep, steadying breaths. I'd done this all wrong.

Edward loved me and I wanted to squeal with glee, but I knew I should have told him about me before things got this far. He had a right to know who he was falling for. He had the right not to ruin his name by associating himself and his various businesses with me.

And I loved him.

I had to tell him about James, but I knew that afterwards there was a good chance he'd look at me differently, and he'd stop stalking me, and he might never say those words again. Just when I'd found a home - the first home since I was nine - it might disappear in the blink of an eye.

I leaned against the wall, closed my eyes, and took a few steadying breaths. How would I start?

xXxXx

"_Dream bigger than I did, baby," my mom told me, as she pulled me into a hug after the graduation ceremony. "Don't settle."_

"_Not like I did for your mom," James said with a snicker, as he draped an arm over Mom's shoulder. _

_She shrunk before me, turning in on herself. _

"_Not like she did either," I countered._

_James' eyes went flat. The muscles in his jaw flexed as he ground his teeth. _

"_Let's get you a drink, honey," Mom said, tugging him toward the bar. She glared at me over her shoulder. Her shirt rode up as he gripped her, revealing a purple bruise the size of a dinner plate; the size of a big boot. The size of the hole I wanted to make in James' chest._

"_You should leave him," I told her later. James was passed out on the couch, snoring with an empty bottle of beer dangling from his hand. _

"_Stop it, baby girl," she pled._

"_But -" _

"_But, nothing, Bella. I'm okay."_

"_No, you're not, Mom!" I reached over and hiked up her t-shirt and pressed a finger to the bruise. _

"_Isabella Swan!" she shouted, jumping to her feet and pulling her top back down._

_James mumbled something in his stupor, and the beer bottle fell to the rug with a thump._

"_Keep your hands off me," Mom hissed._

"_Isn't that what you're supposed to say to_ him_?" I asked, nodding to the drooling man across the room._

"_Bella, please be quiet."_

"_Because he's drunk again. And he'll hurt you again. What would Dad -"_

"_Your father is gone, Isabella! After all these years you have to let him go."_

"_Like you did?" I shouted, jumping from the chair. It clattered against the table._

"_What's that?" James asked, blinking slowly, searching for his beer and finding it in a puddle at his feet. "What the fuck, Renee?" _

"_Don't talk to my mom like that!"_

_James' laugh was menacing. "Clean this up and get me a beer, babe? And tell your girl to shut the fuck up."_

_Mom rushed off to the kitchen and James and I regarded one another silently. I wanted to tell him to leave and never come back. I wanted to tell him how much I hated him, but I held my tongue. I knew he'd take whatever I said out on Mom. Instead, I let myself out through the back door. There was this one little part of the yard that sloped, where Dad and I used the hillside as a pillow while we gazed at the stars. Before I could get to that little corner, I noticed the shed door hanging open. I knew what was inside. _

xXxXx

Thunder boomed overhead and I shook my head, snapping myself out of my memory. From the other room, I heard Edward raise his voice. When had he let someone else into the office? I gave myself a quick once over in the mirror, running my fingers through my hair, and then tugging at my t-shirt to make sure I was covered. I hoped Edward had bothered to put on some clothing before answering the door, but the memories of our clothing-optional weekend didn't leave me encouraged.

"You're a lying pussy!" I heard Edward shout. I shuddered. We'd have to talk about derogatory terms for female genitalia if he still wanted to see me after I told him about James.

The next thunder crack shook the walls of Brick and Mortar, rattling the lights in their sockets. It suddenly felt silly to hide in the bathroom when the world was blowing to pieces outside, so I took a breath and opened the door. Edward faced the far wall. He was in his office alone.

"Were you talking to someone?" I asked.

He turned at the sound of my voice. Still topless, Edward's chest glistened with sweat. He shook. His face was red. He looked like he could kill. I wasn't frightened, though. I ran to him.

"It's no one," he said, squeezing my hand. "I'm fine." He couldn't quite look me in the eye, and he clearly was not fine. Not by a long shot. Neither was I. I led him to the fluffy rug in front of his desk and I took his hands in mine as I sank to the floor.

Edward's eyes wandered over my bare thighs, and I gave my t-shirt a tug. I considered asking him to find a shirt.

"About talking…"

Edward swallowed. "You don't have to -"

"Shh," I hushed, placing a finger over his lips. "You told me about your stars. Let me tell you about mine?"

Edward gripped my hand in his.

"My dad was my hero, and when he died, my mom took his place. She tried to be my everything. She read to me, she would lay in the backyard with me like my dad did, looking for meteors, pointing out Mars and Venus. She tried to keep The Dawn Treader in good repair. She tried to keep the bookstore going. But late at night I'd hear her crying in her room. If I came home early from school, I'd hear her on the phone with creditors."

"I think she married James for his money. I think he made her feel safe at first."

Edward cocked his head, considering. "You have a stepfather?"

"Had." I gulped. I couldn't look Edward in the eye and picked at the rug instead.

Edward took my chin in his hand and tipped my head. He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. "I don't care about your step-father, Bella. He's nothing to me."

"Oh, I cared about him, alright. She hid it from me at first. I didn't know what I was seeing. More foundation around her eyes. Long sleeves in the summertime. Those drives at night, those over the top, super fun drives when we were singing at the top of our lungs..."

Edward's eyes flashed with anger. "I'll destroy him," he hissed. I didn't doubt it. I shuddered.

"I already did." I started shaking and Edward tried pulling me closer, but I scooted away from him. "I should have told you. You had a right to know. I can't go back home. I can never take you there. I shouldn't be with you."

Edward crawled to me and took my face in his hands. Facing one another, on our knees, he wiped my tears with his thumbs. "Did he hurt you?" His eyes raked over me like there might be some evidence - a scar or a lingering bruise.

I shook my head. "My mom. Over and over again."

"So you…"

"She was never going to leave him. I couldn't lose her too, and she was fading away right in front of my eyes. So I, I…" I let my head fall against his chest as I wept. "And she knew what I did. She knew, but she lied for me, and we lied, and I'm here instead of in prison, or even worse, where I belong."

I tried to shake Edward off, but he wrapped his arms around me and held me in his vice-like grip until I stopped trembling. I peeked up from his chest.

"A mother's love for their child is stronger than any other could ever be," he said quietly as he peered down at me. "A child's love for their mother is unparalleled."

"It's no excuse, Edward. I was angry and I let it get the best of me. I could have reported him, or tried changing the locks, or tried harder to get my mom to a shelter. I could have done so many things, but I shot him. Right there, right then, I liked it. I was so, so glad."

With a shiver, I sank to the floor. Edward settled by my side. I curled myself into a ball, and he held me, rocking. I didn't deserve his love or his forgiveness, but I accepted his arms. I accepted the strength of his chest, the warmth where his lips pressed kisses on the top of my head.

"Isabella?"

I held him tighter, afraid he might end it all.

"Do you remember the story I told you in the room full of stars?"

I couldn't help but smile through tears as I looked into Edward's eyes. "Which one?"

"The one about the god who hung Cassiopeia upside down in the night sky?"

I shuddered. "That was Zeus, right?"

Edward smiled, but his expression was grim. "Yes. Before Zeus lorded over the skies like an egomaniac, his father lived in fear of a prophecy. It foretold that one day his offspring would be his downfall."

"Almost like how in Harry Potter -"

Edward narrowed his eyes and held a finger to my lips. If we ever got past this, one way or another, I was going to get him to read Harry Potter.

"In order to hold onto his power, Zeus' father decided his only option was to swallow each of his children whole."

I gasped. "What?"

"He didn't literally eat his children. He cast them to the far corners of the world where they were shackled, starved… abused."

"These are miserable stories, Edward. You should really try reading something a little lighter. There were prophecies in Harry Potter too, but -"

"But there's a point, Bella. His wife, Rhea, was heartbroken over the loss of her first five children. So she raised her sixth child, Zeus, in secret. When he was old enough, she sent him to rescue his siblings."

"And did he?"

Edward relaxed against the couch, stretching his long limbs and folding his hands underneath his head. I stretched out next to him and lay my head on his chest. Together we gazed at the heavens he'd painted on the ceiling.

Edward nodded. "Yes, Zeus saved… _them_. And then, together with his brothers, he defeated their father and fulfilled the prophecy. They threw their father into the pits of Tartarus - a deep, dark well of despair, where survival is impossible. Even for a Titan."

"Is he still there?" I asked, searching the sky.

"You won't find him up there, Isabella," Edward murmured, turning my head so I could gaze into his eyes instead of the sky. "Some say Zeus' father was devoured by the creatures who lurk there, while others believe he could never truly perish."

"What do you believe?" I asked, uncertain why any of this felt so significant. I held my breath.

Edward caressed my cheek. His eyes glistened with unshed tears. I'd spent days naked with the man, but in that moment, I felt we were more exposed than we'd ever been before. "I believe sometimes fathers, or stepfathers, commit vile atrocities. And I believe sometimes mothers can't fight their own battles, so it's left to their sons, or daughters, to fight for them."

I shook my head. "Mom never asked -"

"But you knew what she needed. You did what you had you had to. He's gone and your mother is safe and grateful. She could never be angry with you. You must know that."

"I guess I never thought about it like that," I whispered.

I wiped tears from the corners of my eyes, then reached out to do the same for Edward. He caught my hand in his, then pressed my fingertips to his lips.

"You should speak with your mother, Bella. You should go see her."

I shook my head. "I can't. Everyone in Gila Bend knows what I did. I can't face them. I don't know how I can face her... _Mom_."

"I'll go with you," he murmured.

"You would?"

Edward wrapped an arm around my waist. "I'd go anywhere with you, Isabella."

"You still like me, even after everything?"

"I love you."

I took his head in my hand and pulled his face toward mine. "I don't deserve you, you know."

Sparks flickered around us as Edward pressed his lips to mine.

He laughed a little. "You know, when you said we were alike on the beach, I didn't quite believe you. While you'll never convince me we're the same creatures, your thoughts mirror my own. No one deserves anything, Isabella, but you have me."

I smiled. My heart fluttered in my chest. "You're really good at this."

He shook his head and waved me off, throwing his arm over his eyes. "I'm not good; not at this, not at anything."

I couldn't help but laugh at Edward's dramatic self-loathing. I climbed onto his lap, straddling his thighs. After a bit of tugging, he let me pry his arm away from his face. I bit my lip as I repositioned Edward's hand on my hip, very aware that all that stood between me and him was a t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

"The girl who just spent a weekend with you begs to differ," I murmured.

I wiggled my hips. Edward's eyes darkened. His hand slipped under my shirt, caressing my hip.

"You just reframed my entire life for me, Edward. I don't know about 'everything', but you're good at this. You just about lifted this enormous burden off my shoulders."

Edward's hand slipped from my hip and fell to the floor. "You're not the only one with a burden to be shared."

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I leaned forward so we were forehead to forehead. Slowly, deliberately, I kissed the tip of his nose, then each corner of his mouth, before placing my lips full on his. I sighed into the kiss as our lips parted. I could have kissed him forever.

"There's nothing you could tell me that's worse than what I did, Edward. Let me see if I can lift this weight for you?" I asked.

"Some things can't be saved, Isabella."

"There's nothing you could tell me that would change how I feel."

Edward took my face in his hands. "If only that were true."

"But it is. I promise it is. I love you."

xXxXx

"Come back to my place?" I asked after a bit more kissing… after Edward pinned me to that soft, fluffy rug and his hands found their way under my top. "I'll make us dinner like I promised. I need to know the man who's changing my life. The guy I'll be introducing to my mom. Please?"

"Shall I drive you?" he asked, collecting pieces of clothing from where they were scattered across the room.

I shook my head as I searched for my panties. "I should get my car home, and there's a few things I need to do - like make that dinner I keep promising. Finish up what you need to and meet me?" I asked.

"I'm right behind you," he murmured in my ear as he slid a hand up the back of my thigh, under my shirt.

I yelped and swatted his hand away. The man could sneak across a room like nobody's business.

"Very funny." I giggled and spun around, pulling him in for one more kiss before tugging on the rest of my clothes.

"I hate watching you go," Edward said, leaning against the edge of his desk, watching me very intently.

I knew what he meant. With my hand on the doorknob, I hesitated. I didn't want to leave the safe space of his office. "Surely we can spend just a few minutes apart," I said, as much for Edward's benefit as for mine.

"Speak for yourself, Isabella."

"Call me Be-"

"Bella. Always, my love."

I sighed, and gathering my strength, turned the knob and opened the door. Just then, I remembered something from a long lost middle school history lesson. Mrs. Conroy showed us a picture of a family tree, with marble statues instead of people.

"Hades!" I called to Edward.

"Yes?" he asked, looking expectantly in my direction.

The air crackled. I shivered.

Edward stood tall and he looked almost regal and incredibly strong. He was gorgeous and I was in love with him. Somehow, after everything that had already passed between us, I found it difficult to make my mouth move or to form words.

"Z-zeus' oldest brother," I finally stammered. "His name was Hades."

Edward's Adam's apple bobbed in his throat. "It was."

"I knew it!" I cheered. "Give me some time and _I'll_ teach _you_ a thing or two. See you soon!"

xXxXx

Outside, the rain had let up and the air was clear. The moon glowed, luminous and white, lighting the night and hiding the stars. I felt lighter than I had in years and practically bounced across the parking lot to my car. My drive home was filled with Prince's music, memories of lips and hands, and the scent of Edward's aftershave in my hair.

Back home I found Rose pacing in the kitchen. She rushed at me when she saw me standing in the doorway.

"Where were you?" she demanded.

"Um, hello to you too, Rose." I plopped my purse on the kitchen table, humming _Raspberry Beret _under my breath.

"Where did you go?" she repeated.

"I just ran over to Brick and Mortar."

"After everything I told you? Not only did you leave, but you went _there_?"

"Please don't raise your voice," I asked. I didn't have time for her outrage. Food was scattered all over the countertop. I had a whole meal to plan.

"I'm trying to keep you safe, but you ran straight back to him like you're just trying to get yourself into trouble! I gave you the benefit of the doubt when you moved in here, Bella."

I took a deep breath before turning back toward Rose. She leaned against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest. If looks could kill, she wouldn't have to worry about keeping me safe.

"Rose, please, there's literally nothing wrong."

"Oh yeah? Did Edward explain what he's mixed up in?" She took a seat at the table. "I can't wait to hear how innocent this all is."

I shook my head. "He… we… not yet," I admitted.

"Listen, I've tried, but I can't save you from yourself. If you want to put your life in danger, that's one thing, but I value mine."

"What are you talking about?"

"You left the door unlocked. You took the gun. That mafioso knows who I am, Bella. I could have been killed."

I took a seat across from my roommate. "I didn't do either of those things, Rose. You've got to believe me."

"Well, if you didn't, who did?"

* * *

**A/N: I cried about a million bittersweet tears with Jo this week, but I wouldn't have it any other way. **

**Thanks to SueBee for pinch hitting as my beta this week. This chapter's lesson - remedial work with capitalization. Thanks, Sue! **

**Thanks to everyone reading & reviewing out there. **

**And thanks to everyone who's joined our new facebook group, Belladonna FictionFreaks. There's a link on my author page for anyone who'd like to join. We post teasers, and pic-spirations, and talk Hades more than I ever thought I would. Ever. Really. Hades? Life's funny sometimes. Until next week... xoxo ~M**


	8. The Despair

**Chapter 8 - The Despair**

**Almost here?** \- I texted Edward, while Rose dialed 911.

Edward didn't reply. 911 picked up.

It turns out a stolen gun is something the police take seriously. While Rose was on the phone with the LAPD, answering a never-ending litany of questions, I stepped into the living room to give Edward a call. My heart skipped a beat when I heard his voice on the other end of the line, but plummeted to the depths of hell when I realized it was just his voicemail.

"_Hi, there. Where'd you disappear to? Something happened here at my place. Please call when you get this. Or just show up on my doorstep. I'd give anything to have you stalking me right now. I'm a little scared. And Edward, I love you."_

Officers arrived, without lights or sirens this time, without an ambulance or a body bag. This time there was no blood, but I still trembled when they crossed the threshold. I collapsed in a kitchen chair, suddenly unable to support my own weight and checked my phone for the dozenth time. Edward hadn't texted. He hadn't called. Rose sat next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

I closed my eyes and saw mom, James, and an army of policemen. I opened my eyes and it was just me and Rose, and two officers. One with a pad. One with a kind face. There were no dead bodies. There was no blood on my hands.

"I didn't do anything, Rose," I whispered.

"I know, honey," she murmured, shushing me. She smiled at the helpful officers. "My roommate's been through a lot recently," she explained. They left well enough alone. It was a stolen gun. It wasn't like anyone shot it.

Not this time.

No.

"Is there anyone who knew about this? Anyone who might want the firearm enough to break in to get their hands on it?" the officer with the pad asked.

Rose hesitated. She arched an eyebrow, but she shook her head. "It was a gift from my dad. He's in Upstate New York. No one else knows."

The officers left us with instructions to change the locks. They left us with a case number and a business card. They left us with little hope the gun would be found.

"If anyone uses it to perpetrate a crime, we'll have this report on file. You'll be in the clear."

"There was something you didn't tell them," I said, after Rose came back from walking the officers to their car.

"This has Edward Cullen's name all over it," she grumbled.

"No, I was with him the whole time."

_My mind swam with memories: my bare back on the mahogany desk, with his head between my legs as stars floated, suspended in the air around us. I shivered remembering how the rug glowed in the light of the cosmos as he'd slowly pushed my t-shirt higher, revealing my naked body inch by inch, his hand between my legs, his lips at my breast. _

"_I love your body, your lips, your tits, your sex," he murmured, his lips brushing over my skin like I was a flint and they were matches. "I love how it feels when I'm inside you."_

"_I'm almost convinced." I giggled. I whimpered. I sighed._

_Edward stopped long enough to peer into my eyes. The galaxies stopped spinning overhead. The stars stopped glittering around us. I held my breath. _

"_I've never loved anyone before, Bella. Never. You're my first. My only."_

_I bit my lip. "I've never said it to anyone else, either," I admitted._

_A growl tore through his chest, but he took me gently. His eyes locked with mine, open and honest. Two wells of never-ending darkness. He saw me and he loved me - all of me, even the impossible parts. _

xXxXx

"You said he's coming over tonight?" Rose asked, jolting me out of my haze. "Because I've got questions." She double and triple checked the doorknob, making sure it was locked. "You haven't given out keys to a certain nightclub magnate, have you?"

"He said he'll be here, and of course he doesn't have a key." I tried to inconspicuously peek at my phone.

Rose sighed, her back against the door. "Edward Cullen or no Edward Cullen, I don't think it's safe staying here until we can get the locks changed."

I started trembling all over again. I knew James was long gone, but when I closed my eyes I saw him busting through the front door with Rose's gun in his hand. He'd want revenge. No, staying wasn't safe, and it wasn't good for my mental health. I wasn't certain I'd ever feel okay in this apartment again.

"You're right," I agreed.

Soft rapping came from the other side of the door. I jumped to my feet and Rose dove into the kitchen and pulled a knife from the butcher block. The knocking came again, harder and more insistent. My heart hammered in my chest and I ducked underneath the table, while Rose stalked towards the door with the knife held high.

"Edward?" I called tentatively.

Rose glared in my direction. "Shhh!"

"Rosalie?" a woman called. "Bella? Are you in there?"

My roommate laughed and relaxed as she jogged back to the entry. "Oh my God, Angela!" she said, struggling with the lock and throwing open the door.

"Hey there," our neighbor replied, peeking into the apartment. She stopped short when she noticed the cleaver in Rose's hand. "You ladies alright? I thought I saw the police."

"Yeah, Ang, we're cool," Rose said, tossing the knife onto a side table.

"Just butchering a side of beef with some boys in blue?" Angela asked.

"You have no idea." Rose pulled Angela into the house and locked the door behind them.

"Locking us in doesn't make any sense," I said. The shaking took over again and I gripped my hands into tight fists in an attempt to keep myself still. I closed my eyes and James was towering over me, a bloody hole in his chest, with Rose's gun in his hands. I opened my eyes and I was clutching my phone while Angela was staring down at me, her big brown eyes full of concern.

"Oh my goodness Bella! Are you okay?" she asked, pulling up a chair and sitting by my side. She tried to take my hands in hers, but I wouldn't let go of the cell phone, and plunged my hands into my lap instead.

"I'm a mess," I admitted. I clutched the phone and tried to will Edward to call. It didn't work.

"Whoever broke in stole my dad's gun," Rose explained, taking a seat across the table. "They must have picked the locks because there was no sign of forced entry. So, you know, if they could just walk right in before -"

"- then they could do it again," Angela finished for her.

All three of us eyed the front door askance.

"That's crazy," Angela muttered."I can't believe someone was walking around in here, looking for a gun. Listen, Rachel and I have a bottle of wine and a batch of cookies in the oven. We're all set for a Good Place marathon. What do you say we make it a sleepover?"

"No, I couldn't," I objected.

"Bella, you're always doing stuff for me. Let me take care of you for a change?" Angela managed to wrangle the phone from my hands and tossed it onto the table, where it slid across the formica and bumped into Rose's elbow. For a second, I was certain this would be the exact minute Edward decided to text. Spoiler alert - it wasn't even close.

"That would be amazing," Rosalie said with a sigh. "A last minute hotel room was going to cost a fortune."

"But, Rose -" I began.

My roommate leaned across the table, her eyes wide, deadly serious. "You're not planning to wait around here for _him_, are you?"

"Since when is there a 'him'?" Angela chimed in.

"Send him a text and tell him to meet us next door," Rose advised.

"Ahem," Angela said with a giggle. "Who is this 'him' you speak of?"

Rose glanced back and forth between me and Angela. I shook my head. This was no time to talk about Edward: his stalking kindness, his attentiveness, his oddly formal speeches, his hands, his lips, the way his eyes glowed as he pulled off my clothes…

"Angela, you wouldn't mind if Edward Cullen dropped over later, would you?" Rose asked.

Angela's chair clattered against the floor as she jumped in her seat. "What?!"

Rose grinned. I felt my cheeks warming.

"_The_ Edward Cullen? The sex-crazed, BDSM, millionaire shut-in?!" Angela asked.

"Seems he's a little less shut-in, and a little more mixed up in organized crime," Rosalie replied dryly. "You'll have to ask Bella about the other stuff, though."

xXxXx

Angela and Rachel stopped hounding me when they realized I'd only admit to a few details. I told them Edward was secretive and our relationship was new. I left out the part about how he was possibly missing, or how maybe he'd decided to ghost me after I confessed my deepest, darkest secret. I tried not to think it could be over as quickly as it all began.

"He followed her all over town for a solid week," Rose explained."

"Not _all _over town," I demurred. "And it was just five days."

"He's really into you!" Angela cheered, refilling my wine glass.

He'd said I was the only woman he'd ever loved. I didn't tell her that. "Yeah," I agreed. I glanced at my phone. "Maybe."

"Listen, Emmett said he was going to give me a call too. Haven't heard from the guy. Maybe something's going on at the club?" Rose suggested.

"Woah, woah, woah!" Rachel cut in. "You're dating someone too?"

This time Rose was the one to blush. I tried to pay attention while she gave play by play details about her weekend with Edward's bouncer, but it was difficult to concentrate. I was alternately worried and bereft. I plotted out how I could wait until everyone was asleep and run back to the club. I'd done it before. But then I realized - yes, _I'd done it before_. How many times was I supposed to go running to Edward, confessing my love? He was supposed to come to me. He'd followed me everywhere, right up until I told him about James.

After Rose was talked out, we settled in with Rachel's cookies and some popcorn. Angela and Rachel curled up on the love seat, while Rose pulled my feet into her lap. "It's going to be okay," she whispered, rubbing my toes. "They'll call. He'll come. If he doesn't, the mafia's not the only thing he'll have to worry about."

The Good Place was a silly show. The demons on the screen were nothing compared to the terrifying Greek gods Edward told me about in the planetarium, and frightening stories he'd told me in his office when he tried to put my sins in perspective. I could hardly concentrate on television when my phone sat idly next to me on the couch; when my past and old myths were threatening nightmares. I could hardly sit still, certain James' ghost was lurking on the other side of Angela's living room wall, breaking and entering with a loaded weapon.

I left Edward one final text before I finally fell asleep.

_I wish you were here to hold me. Are you having doubts? Are you afraid to talk to me like I talked to you? Nothing could change how I feel about you. I promise. Come to me. Call me? I love you. I know it's only been a couple of days, and maybe it's crazy, but I think I always will._

xXxXx

I woke to birds chirping and powder blue skies framed with bougainvillea vines. White clouds dotted the horizon and palm leaves swayed in a gentle breeze. I blinked and sighed. Flawless mornings like these, where one sunny day bled into the next, each bringing brand new possibilities, reminded me why I was so happy in southern California. It was the perfect place to call home for a while. I reached for my cell to check the time, and that's when reality hit.

I was on Angela's couch. Someone broke into Rose's apartment. And Edward…

I scrambled to sitting and closed my eyes as I turned the phone over in my hands. I took a breath, then another, and then I looked at the screen. A band tightened around my chest. He hadn't written. He hadn't called.

I took a shower while the rest of the household slept. I had hounds to walk. Or dogs. They were dogs. I made a point to enjoy the rainfall showerhead and Angela's lemon-scented, organic body wash. Today was a Monday. I loved Mondays. I'd made them perfect, so I could look forward to the start of each week, unlike all those poor souls who dreaded going back to their nine-to-five gigs.

My body tried to defy me, though. It wanted to pretend my fingers were his as I lathered and rinsed. They reenacted the way his hands lingered as he regarded me with worshipful, open eyes. I shuddered remembering how his lips liked to follow in the wake of his hands; from my breasts, over my belly, where he liked to draw lazy patterns, between my legs. I fell against the shower wall, panting. I wasn't crying. It was the shower. I needed to dry off. I had hounds to walk.

Benny was ready and waiting with a smile and a fresh-squeezed container of green juice at the cash register.

"Morning, Sunshine!" he said with a smile and a wink.

"Hey, Benny."

"You alright?" he asked. He gestured to his eyes, then pointed my way. I didn't know what he was talking about.

"Slept somewhere different last night. It's a long, boring story."

"Different bed? Boring story?" Benny narrowed his eyes. He wasn't fooled, but he was just my juiceman. "Have a good one, okay?" he asked, handing me the emerald green container that usually made my eyes sparkle with delight. Not with tears. Nope.

"Have you seen the sky today? How could it be anything but good?" I asked. I wiped at the corner of my goddamn eyes.

Dogs dragged me down the street. Joggers and bikers crisscrossed the sidewalk in front of me, each healthier and more athletic than the next. Electric cars sat silent and environmentally conscious at intersections. The empty entrance to the park beckoned - rolling green grass and sculpted hedges led the way to the dog run where I could sit on the picnic bench, sip my juice, and catch up on celebrity news. It was a good way to start the day. Usually. It was all I needed. Until recently. The park wasn't empty; it was quiet.

A cool breeze blew through the trees and a shadow fell over me and my phone. I jumped up and spun around, awash with relief. It was a cloud. My chest rose and fell like I'd run a mile. I sat back down and with a deep breath, tried the same stunt I'd pulled last Monday. I typed "Isabella Swan" into Google's search bar.

_Arizona woman acquitted of manslaughter..._

_Final Verdict: Arizona Woman Acquitted…_

_AZ Woman's Mother Pleads for..._

_Behind the Verdict: Was Justice Served When AZ..._

_New #MeToo Defense: Guilty of Being a Man..._

Tears trickled down my cheeks. Alone on the bench, I didn't bother to wipe them away. There was no doubt why he'd left. Killing James may have seemed justified when Edward and I were half naked and lying on a rug, but in the stark light of day it was another matter entirely. I was a murderer and a liar. I'd killed a family member in cold blood.

Next on my Monday morning to-do list was my Instacart gig. I'd always had fun walking through the aisles and stepping into other people's lives through their grocery lists. This morning, the store was nearly empty, with bright sunlight streaming through the windows and perfect pyramids of apples and oranges in reclaimed wooden bins. Reusable burlap bags hung hooks on the endcaps. Orchids were for sale up front. Glancing at my list, it was awful. I didn't want to pretend I was living a life full of five gallon tubs of pea protein powder and jars of coconut oil. There wasn't anything on there I desired. Nothing in my print out would bring me joy.

When I got to the register and started unloading the cart, I realized I'd gone rogue. I'd ignored the Instacart list. Inside were each of my favorite things: blueberry-flavored cereal, herbed goat cheese, Greek yogurt with honey, salty chocolate and spiced nuts. A week ago, it would have been everything I could ever want from a Whole Foods. This morning I wanted more. It wasn't until I closed the car door and buckled my seatbelt, that I pulled a new stolen lemon from my pocket and really let myself cry.

xXxXx

I didn't set out to drive to Brick and Mortar; it's just where my car ended up when I turned off the ignition. The red brick building looked almost like any other warehouse along this lonely stretch of road. It was early, just after twilight, and there were only a handful of cars in the lot. Edward's sleek, black BMW was one of them. He hadn't been difficult to track down. He wasn't hiding; just ignoring me.

I thought about starting my car back up and leaving. I could go home and cry with my artisanal cheese and fancy nuts. It's probably what any sane, self-respecting person would do. We'd had a nice weekend. I probably should have been grateful. Why would someone like Edward Cullen want to get mixed up with a murderer? He wouldn't, but he should have had the guts to say it to my face… or at least text it to my phone.

I tried fixing my hair, but one look in the rearview mirror and I knew it was hopeless. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy, my cheeks were blotchy and tearstained. I was wearing an oversized UCLA sweatshirt of Angela's, and the same jeans I'd had on yesterday. I was a wreck. There was no hiding it.

There was no one manning the door outside the club,and inside, things had definitely taken an unusual turn. The lights were turned all the way up, and the DJ was lost behind haphazardly stacked cases of liquor. Bartenders and bouncers were all lined up at the bar, and they grumbled and rolled their eyes while the pretty bartender I'd talked to the other night gave them their marching orders for the evening.

"This is shit," one of them moaned.

"No, this is your job, Alec," the bartender replied.

"Yeah, well, you're not exactly my boss, are you?"

"You want to get paid, right?" People nodded and whispered to one another. "Then we've got to make this work tonight. We know what needs to happen. Go, go, go!" she said, shoeing everyone away.

"Who does she think she is?" someone whispered, walking past me. "Tim Gunn?"

"Oh, hey, there!" the pretty bartender cheered, surprising me with a warm hug. "We're not really open yet. You okay?" she asked, looking me over critically from head to toe.

"I wasn't really here for the drinks."

She smiled and her big brown eyes twinkled. "I know. You're more of a water girl."

A case of vodka tumbled to the ground. "Fuck!" the DJ swore, and kicked the box toward the bar with surprising force.

"You all right over there, Jazz?" my helpful bartender called.

"Am I alright?" he asked, glaring over the top of the cases. "Am I alright? Oh, yeah, I'm alright. I just sit up there in the booth and set the perfect mood night after night without so much as a thank you. I show up day after day, week after week. I create a revolutionary piece of software to intuitively gauge the mood of any room, but does anyone tell me anything? Ever? Even once? Does anyone even care?"

The DJ's head disappeared beneath the bar. The bartender in front of me sighed. "You wouldn't happened to have seen my boss, would you?" she asked.

"That's why I'm here," I huffed, folding my arms across my chest.

"You talk to him lately?"

"No," I quietly admitted, glancing at the toes of my Chuck Taylors. I wouldn't cry. I wouldn't.

"Well, shit."

"Is it cool if I head back there?" I asked, nodding toward the back hall. I couldn't quite look the bartender in the eye. I was pathetic.

"Sure. You, maybe, um, left something behind last night." She giggled a little under her breath. If she meant Edward, it wasn't funny. "I put it in his top desk drawer. The one on the left."

"What?" I asked. She certainly hadn't put Edward in a drawer.

"You know, some, ahem, clothing." She coughed.

"Oh, right, my hoodie." It was the last thing on my mind. I'd been soaking wet last night, so I'd left it to dry on the radiator.

"Girl, that black lacy thing was no hoodie."

I felt my cheeks warming. "Oh, right." I'd lost my bra in the shadows. Edward told me he'd find it, before he decided to disappear instead.

"You think we'll see him here tonight?" the bartender asked.

"Wait, what?" I finally looked her in the eye and noticed her concern matched my own. Glancing around at the frantic workers and all the disorganization, it suddenly made some sense.

"He's not here, Bella. I thought you knew."

xXxXx

Edward's office was brighter this evening; there were no fuzzy edges ending in dim light. It was warm and inviting, and smelled faintly of leather and wood. Without Edward to distract me, his impressive wall of books stood out from everything else in the room. There were more than I could imagine anyone reading in thirty odd years on this earth. Coming closer, I saw the spines were each broken, and when I pulled a few off the shelf at random, the ink on the pages showed telltale signs of handling. Inside each cover, up in the corner, he'd penciled the initials "EC". I knew how to spot signs of wear and tear after years watching dad buy other people's books. These weren't just for show, these books were loved.

As expected, I didn't spot any Harry Potter on the shelves. There were hundreds of astronomy texts, and books about painting and sailing. There were all kinds of old-fashioned classics like Shakespeare, Milton, Tolstoy, and Kafka. And then, on one of the shelves right at eye level was _Crime and Punishment_. It looked well read, just like the others, which didn't make any sense. The other day at the shore Edward acted like he'd never even heard of it, but all along he'd had a first English language edition with whole passages underlined. Notes in the margins were written in intricate, old-fashioned script. I traced his handwriting with my fingertip. It made sense he wrote the same way he spoke - like he learned to do both about a hundred years ago.

Apparently, there were lots of things Edward hadn't told me.

I pulled a book at random from the shelves and pressed play on the stereo. Prince's unmistakable guitar riffs filled the air amid a chorus of cheers, and I sank onto the leather couch, leaned back and gazed at the night sky overhead. I had to twist and turn my head, but with a little work I was able to pick out some of the constellations Edward had shown me. Without his presence, the cosmos didn't twinkle and twirl through the air, but even so, it was painted with exquisite detail. It was like the planetarium sky, just in oils. I imagined Edward high on a ladder, spending countless days transferring those star stories onto the ceiling over his head.

One song bled to another, and Prince transitioned from old favorites to a _Radiohead_ cover. I sank lower on the couch and plumped a pillow under my head. Prince was right. Edward was beautiful and I didn't belong. It was silly of me to imagine anything different.

Even so, I couldn't shake the feeling I was home. With a sigh, I leafed through the book on my lap. It was the story of a warrior named Odysseus who was trying to get back home to his wife. Oddly enough, the evil Greek god Edward told me about, Poseidon, was the villain doing all he could to keep the two apart. The god was a jerk wherever he turned up. My eyelids felt heavy, but I wanted to know how it all ended. I wanted to see Odysseus home and to see Poseidon go down in flames.

xXxXx

In my dream, I sailed the high seas in Odysseus' boat, which actually looked a lot like The Dawn Treader from my backyard at home. I scoured the horizon, and my chest filled with warmth when I finally spotted land. I tingled all over. I was finally home. I gazed up at the stars, so grateful they'd led the way, and hoisted a sail to speed my journey. It had been much too long, and the only trials I'd faced had been my own. The only thing getting in my way was my own stubborn mind.

Once ashore, I ran through the dusty streets of Gila Bend. John, the butcher, smiled and waved. Sarah, the grocer, blew me a kiss. The guys who worked at the gas station shouted, "We missed you, Bella!" Dad was there, smiling down at me, his arms held wide. "I missed you, pumpkin," he murmured, holding me tight. "Come on in. I kept this for you."

Inside his store, the bookshelves were so tall their tops were lost in the clouds. All of my favorites were there, and Edward's books were there too. I was standing behind the front desk, wearing dad's old apron, a ledger book opened before me. Inside was a never-ending list of names. Mine wasn't there.

The bell on the front door jingled and I glanced up from the ledger to see a man I vaguely recognized. He was tall and well-dressed, with a shock of black hair, and dark eyes flecked with fire. "Isabella," he murmured. "I've brought something you left behind."

A shadow fell over the ledger and I spun around. Three dark figures loomed, their hands reaching toward me, their jagged fingernails scraping along the walls. Inside my head, something inhuman wailed, pushing against my skull, like the sound was trying to break me from the inside out. All of the thoughts I'd worked so hard to hold inside were about to come spilling out into the streets of Gila Bend.

I backed up, bumping into the man in the entryway, and stars ignited over my head. With a snap of his fingers the shadows were gone. The screaming stopped. Nightingales sang and moonlight streamed through the windows.

"Turn around," he whispered in my ear. Little hairs on the back of my neck stood to attention.

"Edward?" I asked, hopefully.

"Not this time, Isabella."

I spun around. Instead of my lover, my mother was standing in my shadow.

"Bella? Is it you?" she asked, reaching for me.

"Mommy?"

"My baby. My hero."

"Oh, Mom." I fell into her arms and she rocked me like I was a child.

"I'm so sorry," I sobbed.

"Oh, baby. You have nothing to apologize for. I was the one who was supposed to save you."

xXxXx

When my eyes blinked open on Tuesday morning the sky was powder blue again. Birds chirped outside the window again. Palm trees stood tall in the distance. Southern California was still practically perfect. With another blink I remembered my dream: my home, my dad… my mom. I clutched my chest, sat up, and _The Odyssey_ tumbled to the floor.

Right, I'd fallen asleep in Edward's office. He was gone, and it still hurt, but it didn't change what he'd told me. My mom loved me; she could never hate me. I remembered what she'd said in my dream and reached for my phone. Suddenly, everything was clear. I knew what I was supposed to be doing. I'd spent an entire day selfishly feeling sorry for myself... No, I'd actually spent years thinking only of myself. I'd worked to make strangers happy, when I'd been too scared to consider how to do the same for my mom.

My finger hovered over her number, and taking a breath I pressed the call button. I glanced around the office again. For a few blissful days it had felt like home, when in reality home was a dusty little town in the desert. I'd been running away, trying to find something I'd had all along.

My mom's phone went to voicemail. I thought about leaving a message, but the words I needed to say were best delivered in person.

Before I left Brick and Mortar, I stowed a few books in my purse. Edward didn't even remember he owned _Crime and Punishment,_ and I really wanted to find out if Odysseus ever made it back to his wife. On the way out the door, I stopped to look at Edward's desk. I leaned against it for just a second, remembering every little detail of what happened there. I sat in Edward's chair, and from his vantage point I could see the whole office: the couch, the rug on the floor, the wall. It was almost like I'd never been there. In the light of day, it seemed almost impossible. How could painted stars fall from the sky?

I found my bra just where Alice said it would be, and I also found a pen and a pad of paper.

Dear Edward, - I began...

xXxXx

Brick and Mortar was empty when I let myself out. I didn't look back as I walked to my car. It had always been a little too good to last. I'd had an affair with a mysterious millionaire who may have been involved with the mob. I'd made a decision to change my life when I told him I'd go away with him. I'd expected something exciting, and I got it. At the time, I hadn't known enough about what two bodies could do to have hoped for the mind-blowing, life-altering sex we'd had. Another thing I never would have guessed was that he'd bring me back to my mom.

I drove a little faster than usual as I headed back to the apartment, planning to pack a quick bag before heading back east. As I turned the corner, though, blinding red lights flashed in my eyes. Police cars and ambulances were crowded around my apartment complex in a knot, blocking my path. Teams of officers traipsed through the street wearing latex gloves, carrying cameras and evidence bags. The whole area was cordoned off with bright yellow caution tape.

I stopped the car in the middle of the road and my hands trembled as I shifted to park. My legs felt like jelly when I stepped out of the car. A stretcher was pulled from the ambulance and suddenly I couldn't catch my breath.

"Rose?" I asked the wind. "James?"

"Do you live here?" an officer asked, but I couldn't find the will to answer. Not when I saw the blood. There was so much blood. On the sidewalk. On the fence. On the leaves in the trees.

"Miss, this is an active crime scene."

Someone had thrown a blanket over the body. Someone was crying. I remembered the sound. It was the cry of alarm; of sudden loss.

"Mom?" I asked. I blinked and I saw how she shook on the ground at my feet.

"Miss?" the officer asked. She grabbed my arm and tried to hold me back. "Miss, you can't -"

"Who was it?" I asked.

Men's work boots peeked out from underneath the bloodsoaked blanket. I looked down at my hands. They were clean. "Edward?" I asked, and I tried to run, but the officer stepped in front of me.

"Don't make me restrain you."

"Edward!" I shouted. "Edward!" I tried to dodge around the officer, until Rose appeared from around the side of the ambulance and ran to meet me.

"You're okay?" I asked, throwing myself into her outstretched arms.

"Where were you?" she asked. "I was out of my mind when you didn't come home."

"Rose?" I asked. "Is it…"

"I don't know, Bella, but he had my gun."

"Is it -?" I couldn't bring myself to say Edward's name, almost like speaking it would make it true.

"Angela saw the whole thing. She's freaking out. Some nut job went psycho on the guy who stole my gun."

* * *

**A/N: This week was difficult for me and for Bella. Thanks to Jo for listening and making me laugh, even though she didn't sign up for grief counseling! Thanks so much to SereneInNC, my beta who survived a work-pocalypse. Thanks to Sue Gilreath and Paige Edwards for pimping this story on Facebook. And thanks to all the readers who joined Belladonna FicFreaks on Facebook. If you're interested in silliness like Tom Ellis Tuesdays, Teaser Wars, and Thirsty Thursdays, you can find the link on my author page. Until next week... xoxo ~M**


	9. The Desert

**Chapter 9 - The Desert**

"We can't use any of this," I heard a detective mutter as I slipped into Angela and Rachel's apartment.

"She's in shock."

"I want you to think long and hard, Ms. Hale," another detective said to Rosalie in the kitchen.

"I've told you everything I know, officer, which is next to nothing."

Angela was curled in a ball on Rachel's lap, rocking, still in a t-shirt and sleep pants. Rachel stroked her hair and bent to whisper in her ear. Angela shuddered and curled tighter.

"Red eyes like fire. The shadow of two horns, but not really horns?" The detective shook her head as she read from the notepad in her hand.

"We'll give her some time to sleep it off, then talk to her again. We have plenty to keep us busy. Let's go knock on some doors."

"You ever heard anything like this before?"

No one noticed me slip back outside and head for our apartment. I kept my head down and tried closing my eyes to block out the lights and emergency workers, but then I saw my mom on her knees, her jeans soaked with his blood. I counted my steps, I worked to steady my breathing, and finally I was inside the apartment I'd called my home for the past few months. Looking around, though, I saw the truth like I was seeing the place for the first time. Rosalie's house could have been an Ikea showroom, but it could never have been mine. In fact, I wasn't even sure what a place of my own would look like. I was more certain than ever I knew what I had to do.

I heard the front door click shut just as I walked down the hall with an overnight bag slung over my shoulder.

"Bella?" Rose called.

"You okay?" I asked, walking into the kitchen, but as I turned the corner, my roommate looked worlds away from okay. Rose was one of those women who could roll out of bed like she'd just walked off the set of a photoshoot, but this morning her eyes were bloodshot and her hair was pulled into a messy ponytail. Her Sex Pistols t-shirt looked crumpled and worn instead of ironic.

"Where you with Edward last night?" she asked, pulling a canister of coffee grounds from the refrigerator.

I shook my head. "I think we're really done."

Rose turned back to me and noticed the bag hanging from my shoulder. "Going somewhere?"

"Yeah, um, I had this dream last night. It's hard to explain, but this morning I woke up and everything's different. I have some things I need to fix. Some stuff I should have done a long time ago."

"This is so weird. It's kind of exactly what Emmett just said."

I dropped my bag on the ground. "Emmett? The bouncer?"

Rose nodded and a smile brightened her tired face.

"He finally called?"

"Late last night. He said he'd had some life-changing revelation, or something. He told me he's done dicking around. He said, well -" she looked at her toes, unable to look me in the eye. "He said a lot of things," Rose finished in a whisper, her cheeks pinking in the morning light.

My heart clenched. I was pretty sure I knew what she was feeling. It felt like a lifetime ago and a few minutes ago, all at once.

"_I've never loved anyone before, Bella. Never. You're my first. My only."_

"_I've never said it to anyone else, either."_

"Be careful, okay, Rose? Things with -" I swallowed. "- Edward probably went too far, too fast."

Rose smiled ruefully. "About Edward…"

I put up a hand. "He never called. He didn't even text. After all the things we said to each other. After _everything_, you know?" I wiped at the corner of my eyes. I wouldn't cry.

"You didn't tell me everything."

"We, um," I began. "And he said… and I told him, and it was the first time. My first time, and I thought it was -" Rose rushed over to me and took me in her arms. I collapsed against her gratefully. "And I… I -"

Rose shushed me. She kissed the top of my head. "The little fucker," she murmured. "The little son of a -"

"It's okay," I mumbled, pulling myself from her arms. I straightened the straps of my sundress and slung my bag back on my shoulder. "I'm going to come out of all of this a better person. I hope." I tried to appear determined, ready to fake it 'til I made it.

"Did Edward ever talk with you about going anywhere in particular?" Rose asked. She tried to act nonchalant as she poured water into the coffeemaker, but she kept stealing glances out of the corner of her eyes.

I couldn't help but smile. "So many places. He had us running all over the country together, and even getting into his boat, sailing away, and never looking back."

"No one place in particular?" she asked.

"No. He kept trying to tell me everything back here in L.A. was insignificant, so leaving was no biggie."

"What a shitty thing to say!"

I glanced around Rose's home again and sighed. "It was pretty much true."

"No, it's not. What would I do without you, Bella?"

"Well, you'd have a spotless bathroom and a few less dirty dishes."

"Me and Angela love you, you dork. I take myself way too seriously, and with you around I remember there are more important things than making my first million before thirty. You remind me to have fun, no matter what anyone else thinks."

"Well, one day I want to grow up and be just like you," I said, going on tiptoe and kissing Rose on the cheek. "I could use a little more organization in my life."

"Can you stay for some coffee?" she asked, plucking two mugs from a shelf.

"Can I get mine to go?" I had a solid six hour drive in front of me.

Rose frowned, but replaced my cup with a travel mug without a word.

"I Venmo'ed you next month's rent. I promise to let you know what's up as soon as I do."

"I'm glad you have somewhere to go, actually. After the break-in and the shooting, we're all getting out of here. Rachel and Angela are heading to Rebecca's place."

"Where are you staying? Jessica's?" I asked dubiously. Jessica Stanley was only tolerable in small doses.

Rose shook her head and grinned and seemed to concentrate a little harder than necessary on pouring the coffee.

"Oh my god, the bouncer?"

"Let's get a few things straight, okay? His name is Emmett McCarty, and he's not just a bouncer. He's a part owner of Brick and Mortar. He helps run the place."

"Not to mention he called you and said some things," I teased.

Rose tried to hide her smile.

"He said _a lot_ of things."

Rose shoed me away.

"I'm glad he called. He seems like a good guy. And a big guy, which is good, all things considered."

"Thanks, Bella. Where are you headed, in case -"

"In case what?"

Rose opened her mouth, but then seemed to think better of whatever she was about to say. "I'll call you if I hear anything, okay?"

"Sure. Um, want me to wait around with you?"

Rose shook her head. "No, I'm just here for the coffee. I'm going to go back and help Rachel with Ang. She's a mess, and rightfully so."

"I know. I heard what the cop was saying. Horns?" I asked.

"She must have been sleepwalking or something," Rose guessed. "None of it makes sense. She said this monster just pointed at some guy and then - blammo - blood, guts, gore."

I shuddered. "I'm glad we're all leaving. No one's safe with a creep like that on the loose."

xXxXx

The drive through the desert was long and hot. Long because my car couldn't make it over sixty miles per hour, and hot because I could only use the air conditioning for ten minutes at a time. None of it mattered. I couldn't remember ever feeling so certain about something… not since I walked into a moonlit room with a loaded gun one fateful night. Not since I saw a way out of my mother's pain. That had been the last real night of my life, this was the first real morning.

I closed my eyes and wished on all the stars I'd seen over the past ten days to simply snap my fingers and be there - on Mom's doorstep, in Gila Bend. I tried it. I snapped my fingers, but it didn't work. I took it as more evidence everything I'd been through with Edward wasn't real.

I tried not to be bitter. Without him, I'd be back in L.A., still pretending at a life that wasn't really my own. Without Edward, I wouldn't have known magic was real. I knew it now, though. I knew stars could float and galaxies could bend and carpets could glow, and two people coming together as one were all that was needed to make it happen. Damn him. Damn him to hell. Fucker.

I knew how to handle heartache, though. I'd had years of experience. I rolled the windows down and turned the music up.

_Dearly beloved_

_We are gathered here today_

_To celebrate this thing called life_

Tears streamed down my cheeks, but I sang through the pain as my hair whipped around my face and sand pelted the windshield. Edward hated sand. I'd take it. I drove straight through without stopping. Thanks to my shopping trip yesterday, I had all my favorite foods on the seat next to me. Thanks to Edward's library, I could compare myself to Odysseus on his trek toward home, hoping all the while Poseidon wouldn't get in my way.

Day slowly faded to night, and the sun set behind me, the sky a blaze of orange and purple, fading to midnight blue. My uninhibited joy faded a little as I turned off eighty-five and rolled up into my dusty little hometown. Motels, steak houses, and service stations dotted the main street, their signs unchanged since the 1960's, preserved in the dry, desert air. Low track houses were unchanged too, with identical dirt yards and chain link fences separating each family's patch of desert soil from the dirt next door.

I had to look twice when I pulled up to Mom's little ranch. The cracked pavement and the big saguaro in the front yard were the same, but the adobe had been painted pale, powder blue, and agave and aloe vera had been planted along the drive. Bright yellow desert flowers bloomed in big pots on either side of the front door.

I knew I was in the right place when I spotted the ornate, sun-bleached wooden door and grandma's old rocker in the corner. The shades weren't drawn yet, and warm, yellow lights were on inside. Shadows moved just beyond, then the porch light came on, and I knew Mom was just on the other side of the door.

I blinked and I was on the doorstep. I notice a little American flag in one of the potted plants and my breath caught in my throat. I remembered a little girl at a Veteran's Day parade. Her dad bought a little flag for a dollar so she could wave along at the baton twirlers and the marching band.

Inside, I could hear footsteps, water running, and humming. I grinned, recognizing the song immediately. Footsteps moved across the front room.

_Don't have to be rich_

_To be my girl_

I hummed along from my side of the door, my alto to her soprano.

_Don't have to be cool _

_To rule my world. _

When Mom broke into a high falsetto, I couldn't help but double over, laughing out loud.

_Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with…_

The singing stopped. I held my breath suspended in my throat. Looking at the peephole in front of me, my heart hammered in my chest.

"I just want your extra time," I said out loud, my lonely voice cutting through the silent desert night like a hot knife through butter. "And your -"

The door was thrown open. "Kiss," mom said. I threw myself into her arms.

"Baby."

"Mama."

xXxXx

Tears stained her face, tanned and weathered like the desert mountains north of town. Gray streaks cut through her shiny, blonde hair. Her clear blue eyes were wet and red around the rims. She held my face in her hands and kept an eye on me like she was afraid to blink, lest I disappear as fast as I'd turned up. "Where have you been, baby girl?" she asked.

"Nowhere special. Everywhere. Mexico, San Diego, Los Angeles. Wherever it felt right... for a while."

She smiled. "Nowhere felt right for good?"

"Not like home, Mommy. I thought Los Angeles could have been it for a second. For a minute, maybe."

Mom reached for me, and rubbed tears from my cheeks. "What is it, Bella?"

"There was a guy." I sniffed and fiddled with the hem of my sundress.

Mom sat up straight and her eyes flashed in anger. "Did he hurt you?" she almost growled.

I shook my head. "He broke my heart," I managed to croak.

Mom took me back in her arms. We rocked and she shushed me like I was a baby. "Hearts heal, baby girl. Bones mend quicker, but hearts mend more sure."

I shook my head and looked into her eyes. "I don't know if that's true. Aren't you still broken hearted over -"

"Your father?" she asked. "Of course. But how much it hurts is a measure of how much you loved. If you're this hurt, baby, it means you let yourself really love this young man, whoever he is. It means I didn't do as much damage as I'd feared."

"Edward," I murmured. I looked toward the front door, imagining him there, knocking. He'd smile when she opened it. He'd call her something formal, completely out of place in Gila Bend.

"What's that?" Mom asked.

I shook my head, trying to keep my mind on me and Mom and what I'd come all this way for. "I wasn't talking about Daddy. I was, I mean, what about... me?" I asked in a small voice.

"What about you, Baby?"

I took a deep breath and squeezed my eyes tight. "Is your heart still broken over what I did?"

"Forever," she whispered. New tears made fresh tracks over Mom's cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, Mommy," I said, wiping her cheeks this time.

Mom took my chin in her hands, like when I was a little girl and stole cookies before dinner. "Listen to me, Isabella. I broke my own heart. You did nothing wrong."

My laughter was bitter as I scrambled to the other end of the couch. "You know I did, like, the exact definition of wrong. Like the worst kind of sin. I know I let you down in, like, every way. You always wanted me to be nicer around him, and then I... and then I disappeared and then… I'm sorry, Mom."

"The only sorry it was you and not me. Do you hear me, young lady?"

"But, Mom -"

"No 'buts' about it, Isabella. You do not save your own mother's life and then apologize for it. Not in my house. My roof, my rules."

I felt a smile tugging at the corner of my lips. "Are you going to ground me?"

"Forever and ever and ever. Never run away from me again. Am I making myself clear?"

Mom and I both cried as she took me into her arms again, but this time we cried with relief, letting out all the worries we'd hidden away under our skin. And when we were done, we were lighter. When we were done, we turned up the stereo - not to drown out our sorrow, but to celebrate. We made plans for my favorite meal, albondigas de pollo. Mom was convinced the Southwest's version of chicken noodle soup would help hearts heal faster. Who was I to argue?

"So," Mom said, seasoning the steaming pot of broth, "Are you going to tell me about this boy?"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh my God, he's not a boy."

"This… man? How are you old enough to be dating a man?" Mom shook her head as she poured the chopped chayote and carrots into the pot.

I looked toward the door again, imagining Edward standing in its frame: tall, self-assured, his clothing hinting at his immense wealth, his eyes reflecting how much he burned for me. I shivered. He was definitely a man.

"It was a silly question, I suppose," Mom continued, pretending she didn't notice the lovesick longing on my face. "One day at a time. What does he do?"

I swallowed. "He's a businessman."

"Like your father?" she asked.

"Well, kind of. Actually, check this out." I ran to the purse that I'd left in a heap by the front door and pulled out _Crime and Punishment_. "Look at this," I said, running back to the kitchen and handing it to her. "And, maybe, wipe your hands first," I advised.

Mom turned the book over in her hands, then carefully opened the front cover. "Your father would have died," she whispered reverently. "Did you see the date?"

I nodded my head excitedly. "It's a first edition of the Enlgish translation."

Mom's eyes were bright as she looked up at me. "A book collector broke your heart?"

I nodded, my eyes brimming with tears yet again. I felt like I'd cried enough over the past three days to fill the Gila River to overflowing.

"Well, your father would have kicked his ass, book collector or not. Would you like me to go to L.A. and do the same?"

I laughed. "No. If it weren't for Edward, I wouldn't be here today."

"Perhaps I should drive out and thank him, then."

Edward told me he'd be here with me, and in a strange way, he was. I looked toward the door again, as Mom ladled soup into big ceramic bowls. I tucked a cloth around the tortillas to keep them warm. I glanced at his book on my kitchen counter, more grateful than ever I'd chosen to take a piece of him with me.

xXxXx

Mom and I were just finishing up dinner, or, more accurately, I was practically licking my bowl clean as Mom was telling me about our neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Watson, and their new dog. Mom was certain it was part wolf, she swore it bayed at the moon every night.

"I haven't heard any baying," I teased.

"Tonight's a new moon," she shot back.

I laughed out loud. "So it's half hound and half wolf, and it understands the phases of the moon?"

Mom cocked her head to the side. "Half dog."

"Right. What?"

A loud knock came from the front door and I jumped, anxiety shooting through my limbs. I had to remind myself this door was safe. James was gone, and I was hundreds of miles from the break-in and murder back home. Whoever was responsible for all that evil was nowhere near Gila Bend.

"Who in the world?" Mom asked, wiping her hands on her faded jeans. She turned the stereo down on her way towards the door.

"Hello, Ms. Dwyer. Is Isabella home?" A deep voice asked. The hairs on the back of my neck stood to attention and I choked on my water.

I jolted out of my chair. The way the visitor pronounced my name sounded eerily familiar. I peeked around the corner and spotted a meticulously dressed man with short, black hair, and the shadow of a beard over his jaw. His eyes were large and black, as dark as the deepest desert night.

"Oh, um, Bella?" Mom asked. She stepped aside, opening the door a bit wider, and another man came into view. Edward Cullen's eyes locked with mine and the shadow of a smile ghosted over his lips. He raked a hand through his hair and shifted nervously from foot to foot.

"Bella?" he asked breathlessly. His chest rose and fell unevenly. He clutched the doorjamb for support.

"Edward?" I asked, finding the will to walk closer. "What in the world?"

"I, um -"

"Where the hell have you been?" I demanded.

"I -" Edward began, and rather than finishing he looked to his… friend? Companion? The stranger ignored Edward, though, watching me intently, instead. I shivered. An unexpectedly cool breeze wafted into the living room, bringing with it some sand sliding across the tiled floor.

"I, uh -" Edward said again. He shook his head and looked at his feet.

"Really? That's what you drove six hundred miles to say? I would have understood if something came up, but you can't call? You can't text? After _everything_?" I took a deep breath. I'd been raising my voice. Mom had neighbors. I was probably as loud as the Watson's baying hound. Wolf. Dog. Whatever.

"Um -"

I put my hands on my hips and stood tall, barring the door from the mute man and his friend. "That can't be your answer," I said steadily.

"I um -" Edward glanced between me and his friend, then smiled. I ignored the way my heart fluttered. "Have you ever read _The Odyssey_?"

"What?" I'd more than read The Odyssey. I'd dreamt it, then driven it. I'd lived it for the past twenty-four hours.

"Because," he laughed and ran a hand through his hair again, grabbing it at the ends. "I've kind of felt like Odysseus for the last couple of days, to be honest."

Goosebumps quivered to life on my skin and I found myself smiling despite my anger. Somehow, the magic between us was back; he knew what I was thinking without the need for words. I shivered a little as I bent down and rifled through my purse. I glanced up at him and bit my lip, remembering the way he'd peered down at me the last time I was on my knees before him - on a fluffy area rug in his office. Except this time, Edward was trembling in what looked like fear. Also, I was at my mother's house, for goodness sakes.

Standing back up, I held his book out for him. "I literally just read _The Odyssey_."

Edward took a step closer to me and I fought equal and opposing impulses: to step further away, or to rush into his arms. He took the book from me with a shaky hand. "You stole my book?" he asked, turning it over, then opening the front cover. He ran a finger over his ornate initials.

"I borrowed it. I just sort of assumed -" I shook my head. I'd assumed I'd never see him again. I'd assumed after everything, he wouldn't care. I'd assumed after everything, I was worth it.

"So, yes," he said, glancing up from the novel.

My jaw dropped. His friend coughed. I glared at them both.

"Sorry," he said, leafing through the ancient hardcover, admiring it's pages. "It's just a first edition of Pope's translation and-"

"I noticed," I said, interrupting him. He knew very well my dad owned a bookstore once. I didn't need him showing up at my Mom's house, mansplaining literature to me. "I can't believe you actually wrote notes in a first edition. Do you have any idea how much this is worth?"

Edward laughed a little and shook his head. "Of course I do. I bought it at auction. I didn't borrow it -" His eyes narrowed. "- like some people I know." We smiled. I appreciated his sarcasm.

"Anyway," he continued. "I wasn't planning on selling it."

"Why would you? It's gorgeous. Priceless."

Edward looked from his book, to me. He bit his lip. "Priceless. Exactly."

I stepped over the threshold and onto the porch, and Edward nearly tripped over his feet, stumbling backward. It was almost how he acted when we'd first met - like he was scared to get too close - yet it wasn't the same at all. He seemed uncertain of himself - frightened of his own shadow, even. I suppose it could have just been the fact he was on my Mom's doorstep in Gila Bend, Arizona after breaking my heart.

Edward tentatively handed _The Odyssey_ back to me and our fingers brushed in the exchange. Startled, I reached for his hand and took it in mine. Edward smiled hopefully, while I worried I was going insane. His fingertips felt almost cold enough to burn. Warmth should have been radiating from our hands, fluttering through the air around us. My heart should have been hammering in my chest.

"You seem different," I said, looking him over, trying to figure out what was off. He was dressed the same: in a well-tailored button down, jeans, and a leather bomber jacket. His hair was the same mess of copper-colored chaos. His eyes were… slightly different. _Maybe_. Were they more amber than black? Where was the fire that used to live there?

"I feel different," Edward replied.

I narrowed my eyes as I twined my fingers with his. "This doesn't get you off the hook."

"I would hope not."

"Who's your friend?" I asked. The guy hadn't taken his eyes off me since my Mom opened the door. It was unsettling, but not as unpleasant as it should have been. It seemed natural, almost.

Edward startled and dropped my hand like he'd forgotten he'd brought someone along for the ride. "Right. Um, Bella, this is, um -"

"Aiden," the man declared, like he was announcing royalty.

"Oh, um, hi?" I mumbled. Aiden beamed at me like I'd just told him I loved him.

"Ahem," Mom said, coming up behind me. "Who are your friends, Baby?"

"Oh, um, this is Edward." I stepped aside, making room for the two of us in the doorway. "He's my, um -"

"Book collector," Mom said, looking him over. "Edward, the rare book collector you told me about. Of course."

Edward, the rare book collector, seemed like he might be sick. "Ms. Dwyer," he croaked. "Hi."

"And, um, this is Aiden, I think?" Aiden held out his hand, and my mother actually giggled when she shook it. He bowed his head slightly. My mom leaned on me for support, a hand over her chest.

"Are you two hungry?" she asked breathlessly. "We have leftovers?"

"We'd love s-"

"No!" I cut in, a little too loudly. "No, Mom. I'm sure they've eaten."

Mom glanced at me suspiciously. "If so, they should stay for drinks. I have the chiminea lit out back. Show your friends the way, baby girl."

"But, Mom…"

"Listen to your mother, Bella. There are more ways than one for broken things to heal."

xXxXx

I rubbed my hands over my bare arms as I led Edward and Aiden around the side of the house. Desert nights were always surprisingly cold, and tonight the wind was blowing like it was monsoon season.

"Oh, right. Wait right there," Edward said, jogging toward the car.

"Does he have another friend hidden in there?" I asked, glancing at Aiden.

"He only has one." Aiden sighed and shook his head.

Edward rushed back, and held my hoodie out. "I thought you might be cold," he explained. "Also, I don't borrow things without asking."

I laughed out loud and shook my head as I threaded my arms through the hoodie. Edward's breath felt cool on the back of my neck. My hands brushed his as I pushed them through the sleeves. I went to zip the hoodie, and for a moment his hands came with me, and I was almost in his arms.

I turned and smiled up at him. "Thank you, Edward. This was really thoughtful."

His eyes dipped for a moment, but were quickly back on my face. "I know this dress," he said. He bit his lip.

I giggled. "I should hope so. You bought it for me."

"You look beautiful in it." Edward smiled, then ducked his head, almost like he was embarrassed, which made little sense, because…

"You took it off me," I whispered, remembering it puddled at his feet in the planetarium as he'd taken me up against the wall. It was just before he'd held me, naked in his arms, and told me the story of the stars. I grabbed Edward's hand as I looked overhead where the heavens glittered for real tonight. The Arizona sky stretched to infinity, stars clustered as thick as clouds. If it weren't for Aiden and my mom, I might have let him take it off me again, right there.

"Ahem." Aiden cleared his throat and Edward dropped my hand. I tried not to glare in his direction as I set up chairs around the fire. Mom bustled around us with glasses of sweet tea, and winked conspicuously in my direction before heading back to the house.

"Mom?" I called.

"Dishes," she called back, closing the door securely behind her.

Wind picked up and I could see the shadow of tumbleweed as it blew through the neighbor's backyard. I scooted my chair a little closer to the fire and held out my hands to warm them. Edward followed my lead, pulling his chair closer to mine this time around. I jumped when I heard the sound of shattering glass from Aiden's direction. He'd dropped his cup, and it had somehow smashed into a million pieces at his feet.

"I'm sorry," Aiden muttered. "Let me -"

"No, it's fine, I've got it," I protested, picking at the shards on the ground and plunking them onto Mom's tray. I glanced up at Aiden and shivered. On my knees before him he looked confident and completely lost, all at once.

"_I said no expectations this weekend, Isabella."_

"_But I didn't."_

I felt my cheeks warming and shook my head to clear my thoughts. "Mom's got a million of these mason jars," I babbled. "But they're ancient. Probably older than me."

"That's not ancient," Aiden murmured.

"It's a figure of speech, you know?" I asked, plucking the last piece of glass from between his fingers. In a breath, the air rushed from my lungs, and I had to hold onto Aiden's chair for support. My chest ached.

I glanced at him again as I stood. "Do I -"

"No," he said. "No, you don't."

Mom materialized in the backyard with another glass of tea, and a pitcher, in case we needed refills. I scrambled back to my chair, suddenly self-conscious, kneeling before Edward's friend. The three of us settled in around the fire, gazing at the stars. I sighed contentedly. Ever since Edward and I had lay naked together on the beach, I'd dreamed of a moment almost like this - minus Aiden, of course.

I sighed. "It's so clear tonight. And with no moon, I told you you could see them forever, here."

Edward's hand reached for mine. "To think even in these ideal conditions we can only see one of every one hundred million stars in the galaxy, it puts our existence in perspective, doesn't it?" he asked.

I nodded. "I suppose it does."

"So many of those tiny pinpoints of light are complete galaxies, each containing hundreds of billions of stars. And their light, what we see, it was created over a hundred thousand years ago. We're watching history from the dawn of time."

"Would you tell me about some of the stars?" I asked.

Edward glanced skyward, then pointed at a bright star right overhead. "I'm actually surprised the North star's so bright at this altitude."

"Where's Cassiopeia?" I asked, remembering how he'd posed me… remembering how his eyes smoldered during his careful inspection, while he held my hands suspended over my head… remembering it was this very dress laying in a heap on the floor.

Edward shook his head. "I'm not sure really, but I think that's Orion." He took the hand I was holding and pointed it toward a little cluster of stars near the horizon. I noticed three stars flickering out of the corner of my eye, but when I turned toward them they faded into the background.

Aiden groaned from where he was sitting, his head held in his hand.

"Do you have something you'd like to contribute?" I asked him.

"For one, Orion is over there," he said angrily, impatiently pointing in the opposite direction Edward had. "And Cassiopeia hangs suspended, where she'll be for eternity. She's right where the gods left her," he said, and suddenly I saw her, upside down and beautiful, right in front of me.

"I understand why they were jealous," I whispered. I grasped Edward's hand tighter. His forehead was lined in thought as he squinted at the stars.

"For fuck's sake," Aidan mumbled, kicking at the ground. I gaped at him and caught his eye. His expression immediately softened. The heat from the chiminea flared and I was suddenly uncomfortable in my hoodie. Sweat beaded on my brow.

"_I said no expectations this weekend, Isabella."_

"_But I didn't."_

I shook my head. Edward was looking between me and Aidan, puzzled and pissed.

I took a deep breath. This was so close to the reunion of my dreams, but so far off all at once. "I need some answers, Edward."

Edward swallowed and tried to look brave, sitting taller in his seat. Aidan also appeared extremely interested in what I was about to say.

"And I don't want your answer in riddles, for once. You're not Odysseus. Constellations are just stories. I need you to open up, like, now or never."

"But, Bella -"

"Don't 'but, Bella' me, Edward Cullen. You want to know the truth? I dreamed of you coming here about a hundred times since I got home, because this is the crazy kind of stunt you used to pull all the time. But now you're here -"

Edward reached for my hand, but I pulled it away and stood over him. "You came, just like I wanted, but I didn't realize how much it would hurt, because it doesn't change what you did."

Tears streamed, and Edward reached to wipe them away, but I pushed his cold hand away.

"Either you don't accept me and my past or you don't care enough to protect my heart after what I told you... after we... me and you. The rug."

"It's my doing, actually," Aiden said, materializing from the darkness, and stepping between me and Edward. His eyes glowed in the firelight.

"What?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes, it was all my fault."

"How exactly does this have anything to do with you?"

"He owed me a debt," Aiden explained.

"A debt?" I asked, remembering Rosalie's warnings and her description of the guy she'd met. Fire flickered behind Aiden, it's light dancing over the surface of his skin, making him look truly evil. "Wait, are, are _you_ the link between Edward and the mafia?" I backed away, suddenly frightened for my life.

"Mafia?" Edward asked incredulously. He laughed nervously.

"This is so far from funny, Edward."

"No, no, no." Aiden protested, shaking his head emphatically. "It's actually gambling. My associates and I try to steer clear of the mafia."

"Gambling?" Edward asked. "What are you -"

Aiden held up a hand. Edward scowled. The man looked down at me and I shivered.

"I needed Edward to find something I'd lost. He's paid me what he owed."

I glowered up at him. "You and Edward found what you were looking for?"

"Yes."

"Great. Now, Edward," I began, stepping around Aiden. "Why are you here, exactly?"

"He couldn't be away from you for another minute," Aiden explained from over my shoulder. "His heart is here, afterall."

I spun around, my hands clenched in fists. "Excuse me, could Edward and I _please_ have a minute?"

"Of course," he said, and began wandering toward the house. "Stay away from the house, Buddy!" I shouted. "Stay away from my mom, or so help me, I'll kill you." Edward's eyes went wide with shock, but Aiden only smiled as he meandered toward the fence separating our yard from the wash.

"Is this true?" I asked Edward.

"Of course -" Aiden began to say.

"Stop answering for him!"

"I'm simply -"

"Aiden!" Edward roared, surprising me. "I've got this." His voice was very nearly a growl. I'd heard the sound before. _I'd been on my back, on a rug, as Edward fit his body between my thighs. As he'd slowly, torturously pushed his way inside. His growl was low, and it shook the ground, creating friction that left me whimpering._

I stumbled backward and held onto the lawn chair for support.

Edward took my hand and gazed down at me, his eyes were both tender and intense, like he was remembering it too.

"_I've never loved anyone before, Bella. Never. You're my first. My only."_

"_I've never said it to anyone else, either."_

"Bella," he murmured, and I had to hold onto him for support. He called me Bella when were were naked. Every time he called me 'Bella' I knew I was his. "Had someone told me weeks ago I would find myself tormented by the need to be near another human being… much less one as -" Edward shook his head and closed his eyes. "One as beautiful, and funny, and ridiculously smart, and sarcastic. A _woman_ with such a deep-seated love of literature, she'd be driven to steal from the man she was dating…"

Edward laughed and I giggled nervously. He took both my hands in his. "I would have - I actually _did_ tell Emmett he was crazy. But now, now…"

He pulled me closer, just like he had on the street after he'd been following me all around L.A., and once again we were chest to chest, both breathing like we'd run a mile, as he gazed into my eyes. Edward's hand slipped around my waist and up my spine until he was cradling my head in his hand.

"What?" I asked, breathlessly. "But now, what?"

"It's difficult for me to speak coherently with you in my arms. Where was I?" he asked, beaming down at me.

"What Aiden said? I asked. "About your heart belonging here?"

"It's absolutely, unequivocally, one hundred percent the truth," he murmured, gazing into my eyes.

"Listen, this can't keep happening," I said, wrapping my arms around him. "You can't keep ghosting me like this."

"I can guarantee you it won't happen again," Aiden said, jogging back toward us. Edward sprang away from me. I stumbled into a lawn chair. "Edward is no longer bound to any commitments he'd made previously."

"Oh my God, would you please give us some privacy?"

Aiden stopped in his tracks. His shoulders fell as he looked between me and Edward. Of course," he said, deflated.

"Why are you here, Edward?" I asked Edward again, once we were finally, actually alone.

"I told you."

"Yes, your heart. But what _really_ kept you away? Where exactly were you?"

"I, um… Aiden and... gambling?"

"Really?" I asked, hands on my hips.

"I don't know what to say."

"How about you answer my questions?"

"I can't, Bella."

"Bella?" I challenged.

"Bella," he begged.

"Don't 'Bella' me, okay? I told you everything. I told you my deepest, darkest secrets, and you stripped me naked and told me you loved me despite it all. You told me we were the same. What was the same? What have you been hiding? Is it really gambling? Because I don't think so."

"I'm a monster," he began.

"No more metaphors!" I shouted. "Tell me with plain old words. Tell me the truth. You're not a real monster."

"My life has been a string of bad decisions. What we have is the first thing in a very, very long time I know is genuinely good. I love you, Bella. It's the god's honest truth."

"Which gods?" I asked. "All of them?"

"What do you mean?"

"All three?"

"Bella, please."

"Which gods?" I asked. "I want names."

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I can't do this right now. I came here to see my mom. I thought maybe you'd keep your side of the deal, but you just need to go."

"I don't want to lose you."

"You know which questions you need to answer to get me back."

I left Edward in the backyard, and I didn't answer my mom as I rushed past her to my childhood room. For the first time in days, I wasn't crying. My tears had been replaced with anger, burning like flames within my chest. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it. Mom had left it all unchanged, preserved in the desert air, like everything else in this town.

Across the room was a wall of books, a miniature childhood version of what Edward had in his office. A small pink area rug lay on the floor between my bed and my little, white desk covered with drawings of desert flowers. Overhead, Mom had painted a sunlit sky dotted with fluffy white clouds.

Walking across the room, I ran my fingers over the spines of the books I'd saved from James. I smiled as I ticked through my favorites and dad's, pausing when I came to book five of the Harry Potter series.

"_Phoenixes may be intelligent, but they aren't known to give commands."_

I picked it up, remembering the moment so long ago, when I'd pulled it from the shelves and plopped it into my backpack. I remembered reading it to my dad as he'd slept. I remembered the tears in dad's eyes when Sirius Black died, and the tears in my own when dad breathed his last breaths.

I remembered everything, and for the first time in too many years, I didn't regret a thing.

Before I could think twice, I ran down the hall and out the front door, and caught Edward as he was walking back toward his car.

"You have a lot of catching up to do," I told him, handing him the book. "I really hope you try."

Edward looked from the book, to me. "Bella -"

"Shh," I said, placing a finger over his lips. "I'm giving you a chance, Edward. Let me know when you're ready." And I went up on tiptoe and kissed his cheek, then ran back to the house to hang out with my mom. We had a lot of catching up to do.

* * *

**A/N: What can I say? Thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed. Your reviews mean the world to me. Thanks to Jo for taking me on this ride. Are you reading Edward's side of things? You can find a link to Hades, A Love Story - Sort of in my favorites. Jo and I are taking a break next week. Look for the next chapter the first Friday in December. Until then… xoxo ~M**


	10. The Departed

**Chapter 10 - The Departed**

* * *

**A/N: My best friend was diagnosed with advanced stage pancreatic cancer a few days after Jo first reached out to me to write this little fic. As a result, each chapter of this story marks another week since my friend was diagnosed. Each chapter holds a time and a place very important to me, my family, and my community. It turned out to be very appropriate we took a break from posting chapter 10. On November 24, just about 10 weeks since he was diagnosed, my friend Luke passed away, surrounded by his wife, children, and his best friends.**

**This empty chapter is for my friend, so it holds his place. This blank chapter is the most important one for my heart.**

**Friend of the Devil will pick up at Chapter 11.**

**Thanks for humoring me.**

**Xoxo… ~M**


	11. The Devil

**Chapter 11 - The Devil**

In my dreams, the kiss I left Edward with wasn't on the cheek. Under the soft glow of infinite Arizona stars, our lips met, his hand in my hair, an arm around my waist and the heat between us exploded and a new world was born. He pushed the straps of my sundress from my shoulders, and stepped back as it slipped from my slender frame and fell in a puddle at my feet.

"A goddess," he murmured.

"My god," I whispered back.

In my dreams I blinked and we were both naked, under hand-painted stars, a vast world unfurling before us, dark and never-ending. He took my hand and white hot electricity passed between us and the stars twinkled to life overhead. Our world was lit with our love.

"_I've never loved anyone before, Bella. Never. You're my first. My only."_

"_I've never said it to anyone else, either."_

Edward gazed down at me. "It was all for you. It was _always_ for you. Waiting. Fated."

Raindrops began pattering at our feet, hissing, popping, turning to stinking steam. His bare chest glistened as he glowered heavenward, his eyes flashing in anger. Until all I could see was their burning fire through the clouds.

"Edward?" I asked.

"Aiden," he replied.

Thunder boomed like laughter, shaking the air. "Liar," it rumbled.

Drenched and shivering, I could no longer see through the haze. I crouched in a dark corner, frightened. A bolt of lightning struck, shaking our world.

"This is not your domain!" Edward roared.

I was at sea, in the Dawn Treader, wearing a long, loose garment that fell to my ankles. Pelted with rain and spray from the surf, the fabric stuck to me like a second skin. I held tight to the ropes, wishing I knew how to sail like Edward.

"You can't keep me from my home!" I shouted.

Lightning made the night glow green. Thunder laughed in my face.

"He doesn't love you."

"Liar!" Edward shouted. His voice was all around me.

"He did, though," I whispered. I begged. "Edward?"

"No, child. Never."

With another flash of lightning I was stripped naked. The heavens crashed around me, The storm and sea meeting as one. Exposed to the element's malevolent glare, I folded in on myself and let go of the rigging. The Dawn Treader pitched violently, and the world turned on it's side.

"Edward!" I shouted.

"Aides."

Thunder laughed.

The night turned to pitch as seawater lapped over the stern. I looked heavenward for a sign from the stars, but they weren't there. I wouldn't find what I needed in the skies.

"Aides?" I asked. "Hades?"

"You win, Poseidon," he said, and rays of sunshine broke through the tempest.

xXxXx

My eyes blinked open and I found myself in a pool of early morning sunlight, drenched from the storm.

Another blink, and my wet pillow didn't make sense because it had all been a dream.

Another blink and I knew I was covered in sweat - enough to soak through my clothing and bedding.

I bolted upright as the dream came back to me, piece by piece. It gradually grew more vivid instead of more vague, like dreams usually did. Anxious and alone in my little childhood bed, I reached for my phone, but something held me back.

I didn't have Aiden's number.

Aiden would know.

I hadn't been grasping for Edward's guidance.

I jumped from the bed and across the room, to the ancient computer collecting dust on my old desk.

"_It's not ancient_," I thought to myself, repeating Aiden's words from the night before. I shook my head. What did he know? Ten years was practically a biblical length of time when it came to technology. It was Edward, not Aiden who didn't know a thing about electronics. Why couldn't I keep them straight this morning?

My foot shook nervously as I waited for the computer to rumble to life. Edward had seemed so different last night, uncertain of his every word and afraid to take me into his arms. Even so, I didn't doubt his sincerity. I knew he meant it with all his heart when he said he loved me. He'd driven hundreds of miles to make certain I knew. The Edward from my dream was the same as he'd always been - casually confident and omnipotent, with fire in his eyes. Sparks sizzled when we touched. In two days, something had changed.

Aiden appeared.

After an eternity, or two minutes - it was difficult to track the time - I typed "Aiden" into the search bar. His name meant "fiery". 'Aiden's' were supposed to be handsome pleasure-givers. I shuddered. Aiden had been exiled to Babylon from Israel. Aiden was the name of a punk rock band from Seattle. There was nothing more.

I closed my eyes and replayed my dream battle on the sea, trying to recall what else Edward called himself in my dreams… _Aides_.

'Aides' brought up a list of local non-profit organizations, page after page of them. Until, three pages in:

**Noun. 1. Aides - (Greek mythology) - The god of the underworld in ancient mythology; brother of Zeus and Poseidon. Gift of God. See also Aidoneus, Hades, Pluto. **

In a rush, the past two weeks of my life played like a movie before my eyes. For days I'd only had to blink and Edward was everywhere, effortlessly. Then, when _he_ blinked the stars twinkled in the sky - whether they were painted, or projected, or the real thing as we lay naked on the beach. I glanced at my hands in my lap and really wondered how his touch could make me breathless and make my heart want to burst from my chest. Being with Edward had been magical - the kind of magic you accept without thinking - like gravity, or life.

I thought of his voice, breathless and grave, as he'd told me the story of the stars, holding me naked in his lap. I remembered the far away look in his eyes as he recounted the story of the god who saved his siblings, and killing his father. It was the story that brought me home. It was an ancient story about Zeus, his mother, Rhea, and his father...

I searched my desk and found a faded piece of construction paper and an old Crayola marker - enough to sketch a family tree. Zeus had two brothers, Poseidon and Hades, and his son's name was Hercules. The brothers' mother was Rhea, and their abusive father was… I shook my head, trying to remember what Edward said. The father hid his sons away and starved them. I recalled the haunted look in Edward's eyes as he recounted the myth, evidence of the neverending depths of his grief.

With a shaking hand, I typed "Hades family tree" into the search bar and held my breath as I hit return.

**Hades was a child of the Titans Cronus and Rhea.**

"_My father's name is Cronus._"

Oh my god.

Edward was insane. He had to be... or _I_ had to be. I glanced at my phone on the nightstand. With one phone call I could clear this all up. I couldn't bring myself to do it, though. I'd told Edward what I needed. Even if he denied he was pretending to be a Greek god and put my mind at ease, it wouldn't change how he refused to tell me about his past, or what he was mixed up with in the present. It wouldn't change Aiden's name. Aides' name.

xXxXx

I tried to put it all out of my mind and concentrate on time spent with Mom. We hiked Quartz Peak and South Mountain. Mom and I made my favorite dishes like pozole and chile rellenos. She even managed to drag me into town where her friends greeted me with hugs and a few tears.

"I was so stupid, mom. So scared," I admitted one night as we gazed up at the stars in the backyard.

"You're not stupid, Bella."

"Maybe," I allowed, unconvinced. I was stupid enough to think my boyfriend might be the god of the underworld.

"What had you scared?" she asked.

"Um, Hades?"

"Excuse me?" she asked, poking at the fire.

I sighed. Mom was talking about real fears, not my dreams and delusions. "I told myself I was scared of this town, so scared I tried to erase my past. Instead, I think I was scared to admit to myself what I'd done. I was scared of the person it made me. I was scared of what others might think."

Like Edward might be frightened to tell me he believed he was Hades. Or how he was involved with organized crime. Either or, really.

"It wasn't you, Bella. It was James."

I shook my head. "No, Mom. _I _killed James. It was my choice. And it was my choice to go along with your lies. I'd kill him again, but I'd never let you lie for me. It's unconscionable and I'm sorry."

"You apologize too much, baby girl. You're not the only woman in this family willing to own her decisions."

Mom grabbed my hand and squeezed. Flames flickered in the chiminea, reminding me of Aiden's eyes when he stepped between me and Edward. I took a sip of my sweet tea and sank in my chair, bathing in the light from the stars, like a balm for years of worry.

"You know anything about constellations?" I asked, watching the story of the gods unfurl overhead in all their twinkling glory.

"Your father would point them out, but I could never keep track of it all. Did you pick up on any of it?"

"Let me tell you a story," I began. "Once there was a Titan named Cronus."

Mom giggled. "What a strange name."

I laughed under my breath. "That's exactly what I said. You think Cronus is unusual, wait until you hear the rest of this."

Mom listened closely as I told Edward's story about a rebellion against a tyrannical father, the exploits of Cronus' sons Zeus and Poseidon, Hercules' trials, and Orion's ineptitude. I shivered as I began the tale of Cassiopeia's curse. The stars didn't glitter when I pointed them out. It was either because mom and I weren't head over heels in love, or it was because neither of us was a Greek god.

"What about Hades?" she asked after I'd fallen silent.

"Hades?"

"The other brother. Where's he?" she asked, gazing overhead.

"I'm really not sure, mom. I'll let you know when I've figured it out."

Later, I tossed and turned in my bed. It was probably because Edward hadn't called, which meant he still wasn't willing to open up to me about his past. At least, it's what any other girl should have been heartsick about. Instead, I couldn't stop thinking about the god of the underworld. The truth is, I didn't have the faintest idea how to answer my mom when she'd asked about him. Was he in hell? Did he torture sinners, like I was taught in church when I was little? Despite filling me in on the lives of Titans, gods and goddesses, Edward hardly said a thing about Hades.

I'm not sure when I finally fell asleep, but I woke cradling my laptop like a pillow, with construction paper covered with notes on Greek mythology strewn all over the bed.

I smiled as I gathered up individual pages. It turns out there was a good reason I knew next to nothing about Hades. People in ancient Greece were so frightened of dying they hardly spoke about the god of death, and they rarely painted pictures of him or made statues in his likeness. It got so bad, they began calling him the Invisible One. Not to mention, he hardly ever left his realm, so not many living people would have come face to face with him. I'd probably stay in the underworld too if everyone on earth was scared of me. I mean, I'd steered clear of Gila Bend for pretty much the same reason.

And really, why were people scared? Hades didn't seem so bad. He wasn't the one who did the killing. He wasn't vengeful like Zeus or Poseidon. He seemed to like fairness and order, and wasn't even the hands-on guy when it came to torturing. All things considered, Hades was an underrated god, unfairly vilified. Zeus, on the other hand... that guy was full of himself.

"Bella," Mom called quietly, rapping on my bedroom door. "You awake?"

"Yep, come on in!"

I hid my research underneath my pillow, not sure whether I was more proud of my Internet sleuthing skills, or embarrassed over my new enthusiasm. This sudden infatuation was on par with my feelings for Joe Jonas when I was twelve. Although I wasn't hiding pictures of Hades under the mattress… _yet_.

The click of the bedroom door snapped me out of my daydream. I tried to ignore the way my cheeks were burning when I smiled up at Mom, but all slightly illicit thoughts of Hades, Joe Jonas, and otherwise were wiped away when I took one look at her. Mom's expression was grave and her eyes were pink around the edges.

"Everything okay?" I asked, patting the bed by my side. "Or are you just itching for more stories about ancient Greece? Because let me tell you, I didn't even know…" My voice faltered when a tear trickled down Mom's cheek. She fiddled with her fingers instead of looking me in the eye.

"Mom?" I asked.

"I'm afraid I have terrible news, baby," Mom whispered.

I scooted to the edge of the bed and grabbed Mom's hands in mine. "Is it grandma?" I asked. We'd been planning on visiting later in the day.

Mom shook her head. "It's about Jake, pumpkin."

"Jake? Like James' son, Jake?"

"Yes, your stepbrother."

Jake never exactly seemed like a stepbrother. Ten years older than me, he'd been stationed halfway around the world, then deployed to the Middle East. I'd seen him exactly twice since Mom and James were married - once at their wedding, then again right after James' funeral. Don't get me wrong, I hadn't actually attended the funeral. I saw Jake from my bedroom window when he showed up on our front porch, shouting about murder.

With little patience for angry men with the last name Hunter, I'd called the cops. I wasn't going to let history repeat itself. Also, he'd been right about the murder part of things. I was scared his booming voice might give me away.

"What is it?" I asked Mom.

"He's dead," she croaked, before breaking down in tears. She shook as she leaned her head on my shoulder for support. I held mom and rocked, willing myself to feel something, _anything_ for the son of her abuser.

"Afghanistan?" I asked, once she'd quieted down. "Or was he in Iraq?"

Mom shook her head and took my hands in hers once more. "In Los Angeles, of all places. They found him on the street and suspect foul play. I'm just glad you're safe and sound in Gila Bend, where I can see you."

"Where?" I asked, suddenly feeling like I was gasping for air.

"L.A., Bella. I just said -"

"But where in L.A., Mom?" I asked with a sinking sensation in the pit of my stomach. I clutched at my headboard.

"I don't know."

"What did the cops say? Did they leave you a number?"

"I didn't speak to any police officers, Bella. Why do you think they would have called here? Dolores called right after she got off the phone with Dot. She heard about it last night from Maria."

"When, Mom?" I asked.

"I only got off the phone a minute ago."

"No, when did they find Jake?"

"She said they found him early Tuesday morning."

Ever since I'd met Edward, days had melded one into the next. I counted backwards in time, one day to the next, until… until...

"Oh my god."

xXxXx

A quick call to Rose didn't get me any more details about the bloody body outside our apartment building, but it did get me the name and number of a Detective Flores, who'd left Rose with a business card after their interview. At first, the detective wasn't interested in giving out information over the phone, so I gave her something instead. I gave her a name.

"It was Jake Hunter, wasn't it?" I asked.

I was greeted with silence on the other end of the line.

"Who am I speaking with again?" Detective Flores finally asked.

"This is Isabella Swan, but lately I've been using my mom's maiden name. I was on the lease at Johnson Street as Isabella Dwyer. You should try Googling my name. My real name. I'm Jake's stepsister and I'm pretty sure you found his body outside my apartment Tuesday morning."

I heard the clicking of a keyboard and then the slow exhale of breath. "When can you come in, Ms. Dwy-... Ms. Swan?"

Two weeks ago I wouldn't have made the phone call. In fact, two weeks ago I'd never have known it was Jake's body outside my apartment. I hadn't been in touch with my mother, and the officers had no reason to suspect I was involved. Two weeks ago I wouldn't have admitted to anyone I could have been involved, even if I'd known. Two weeks ago I wouldn't have driven across town to speak to a detective. This wasn't two weeks ago.

This morning I was leaving Mom with a hug and a kiss, and a promise to call her after I spoke with the detective. This morning, I was setting out across the Mojave Desert to get to tell everything I knew to whomever would listen. This morning I wasn't running or hiding. This morning I was coming clean.

"I'll be back, mom," I promised.

Mom pushed a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "I trust you will, sweetheart."

"Like, as soon as I'm done. I can head back first thing tomorrow."

"Don't be ridiculous, Bella."

"Why in the world is it ridiculous?"

"You told me Los Angeles was almost your home. What exactly made you change your feelings? Could it have been a disagreement with a certain book collector?"

"But, Mom -"

"Don't you 'but Mom' me, young lady. I don't know what happened between you all, but it's obvious you're loved in Los Angeles. It's as clear as the stars in the Arizona sky. After these past few days, you should know better than to let a disagreement stand between you and your home. Gila Bend will always be here for you, Bella, but I think you found another place where you belong. Haven't you?"

xXxXx

"Thanks for coming in today, Ms… Do you prefer Dwyer or Swan?" Detective Flores asked with a kind smile. I'd come straight from the road, and she'd greeted me with a bottle of water and a firm handshake.

"You can call me Isabella, Detective. It's kind of the only thing I know for sure these days."

The detective led me to a small, gray room, with a window looking out onto the hall. Yellow fluorescent lights flickered overhead. "I have to say, I was surprised to get your call, Isabella. It certainly gives our victim reason to be in the vicinity of the crime. When was the last time you saw Mr. Hunter alive?"

I shuddered at the memory of Jake banging on our front door, red-faced, with spit flying from his mouth as he'd yelled. "It was right after I, um, right after _they_ buried my stepdad."

"Approximately two years ago, then?"

I nodded.

"Had you and Mr. Hunter corresponded in the interim? Phone, email, social media?"

I shook my head. "We weren't really close. He was always overseas."

"Did you know he was in Los Angeles?"

"I didn't have a clue, but -"

The detective raised her eyebrows, but waited patiently.

"But, um, I think he probably... _definitely_ blamed me for my stepfather's death."

"And what makes you think that, Isabella?"

I laughed nervously.

"_You owe me an explanation, Isabella! Get out here and face me! Face what you took!"_

"Well, he was shouting about it the last time I saw him."

"I see," she mumbled, scribbling in her pad. "And where were you in the early morning hours this past Tuesday?" she asked without missing a beat.

"I was at Brick and Mortar."

"The bar off 2nd?" she asked, eyebrows raised again. "One of Edward Cullen's properties?"

"Yeah, um, it's one of his."

"And were you at Brick and Mortar until you arrived on the scene?"

"I was."

"Who can corroborate your whereabouts?"

"Well, the bartender and DJ saw me when I came in, but it was empty when I left."

"You were there, in a bar, all alone?"

"It sounds kind of strange when you put it that way."

"Well, if it sounds strange to you…" she said, whistling under her breath. "Now, where was Mr. Cullen while you were alone at his bar?"

"I, uh… I think maybe you should probably ask him." Because then she could tell me. It was one of the main reasons we weren't on a speaking basis at the moment.

"Duly noted, Ms. Swan." I'll also see if he's willing to provide us with security tapes. Maybe they can put you in the bar until the early morning."

"Oh my god," I mumbled, my cheeks burning.

"Yes?" the detective asked, her pen poised over her notepad.

"Oh, um, nothing." I mean, Edward didn't have security footage of his office. Did he? The things we'd done in there. Geez.

"Do you have the name of the DJ and the bartender?" the detective asked.

"Um, the DJ is Jas, or Jazz, or Jazzy. Something close, anyway."

"DJ Jazzy," she mumbled under her breath as she scrawled on her pad. She glanced up at me. "And the bartender?"

"I actually don't know." Which was strange. At this point I felt like I knew the pretty woman with the big, black sparkling eyes.

"We'll ask around. We do have one eye witness."

"Right, Angela," I agreed

The detective put her pen down and tented her hands in front of her. "How exactly do you know Ms. Webber?"

"Well, she's my next door neighbor. She's also a friend. Rose and I stayed with her and Rachel after the break-in."

"Did you take your roommate's gun, Isabella?" Detective Flores asked, point blank.

"No. I never want to see another gun as long as I live. I swear it."

"Do you recognize this man?" she asked, pushing a sketch in my direction.

My heart tried to beat its way out of my body while my lungs seized in my chest, incapable of movement. I clutched the paper in my hands. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw the flash of another image.

"What was that?" I asked.

Detective Flores rolled her eyes. "This?" she asked, holding the sketch up for us both. "This is a joke. It matches Ms. Webber's first description of our suspect. Our sketch artist likes to humor anguished women." The detective began to tuck the page away in her drawer.

"Can I see it?" I asked. "Please?"

Detective Flores shook her head as she slid the second sketch across the desk. "The effects of a potent strain of marijuana mixed with recent trauma, I'm sure."

The second sketch wasn't Aiden. The second sketch had eyes that burned, hollow cheeks, and gleaming teeth. The face on the second sketch glowed through a haze of clouds and shadows resembling something between a crown, or horns, or desperate hands reaching while shadows of people shrieked. One thing was certain; the sketch artist was really good.

I lay the second sketch over the first, and the shadow of Aiden merged with the demon on the page. I shuddered, but my heart went back to normal and my lungs began to breathe. All of my bizarre thoughts and ideas, all the worry and pain I'd been grappling with since Edward and Aiden's visit to my mother's house, since I learned about Jake's murder, everything came to rest. I didn't shake. I didn't sob.

"Do you know this man?" the detective asked, pulling Aiden's sketch out from underneath the other.

I looked her in the eye. "No," I told her, somewhat truthfully.

If she'd asked about the sketch I still held, I'd like to think I would have answered sincerely. I gazed at the rendering in my hands, and for the first time in weeks everything settled into place - the stars, the omnipresence, the way he made me feel. Was this his true form? Was this how he looked when he was angry? When my life was threatened? The Invisible One had a face, and I held his image in my hands.

"Are you sure?" Detective Flores asked, pushing Aiden's rendering my way. "Take a good look."

"I'm sorry, officer. I'm afraid I was probably the reason Jake was in Los Angeles, but this man is a mystery."

"Thank you, Ms. Dwy-... Ms. Swan… _Isabella_. Please call us if you think of anything else."

I shook the officer's hand and did my best not to run out of the station. Afterall, it might look suspicious. I wasn't sure where to find what I was looking for, but I knew the best place to start my search.

xXxXx

The lot at Brick and Mortar was mostly empty, which made it easy to spot Edward's car. I wasn't sure what Edward's role was in all of this. We may have been human pawns in some mythical game, like when Perseus had to protect his family and all of existence from Hades' wrath, all because of some godly feud between brothers. At least, it may have all started as a game, but I ended up in love. I knew I wasn't the only one.

With a deep, cleansing breath I entered the bar to find it humming like clockwork, a sure sign the boss was back in charge. Emmett was sorting through invoices at a corner of the bar with Rose by his side. He whispered something in her ear and I watched her eyes glitter as she giggled and pretended to push him away. She may as well have tried pushing a mountain.

Across the room, the bartender was wearing a pair of headphones, hanging out in DJ Jazzy's booth. He was explaining something to her, but she mostly ignoring him, grooving to the music in her ears, then sliding onto his lap.

"Woah, Alice!" he called out a little louder than necessary. I smiled as the DJ went red in the face as she swayed to the beat on his lap. Her name was Alice. I hoped maybe, one day, Alice and I could be friends.

I heard Aiden's footsteps before I saw him. I knew it was him by the cadence of his tread. He walked with grace and confidence, and the sound it made reverberated through the air. His eyes burned, lighting the dark hallway and exposing empty corners as he made his way into the bar. He was wearing the same clothing as when he'd turned up on my mother's doorstep, and had the same shadow of a beard on his face.

"Aidoneus," I said, stopping Aiden in his tracks.

Our eyes met and my lungs shuddered to a halt. Yep, this was the guy. Or the god. _Oh my god_.

"You killed my stepbrother, didn't you?" I asked, forcing my feet to bring me in his direction.

"I-."

"No more half-truths. Angela saw you in the street. I saw a sketch." I was thinking of the other sketch, the one they described as a joke. He was no joke. He stood before me, confident and proud. He stood before me in love.

"It could have been anyone, really. We all have monsters living inside us, Isabella."

With another step in his direction, I gazed into Aiden's eyes and saw flames, blinding red sunrises, and bursting galaxies.

"You shouldn't listen to what people say, you know," I told him. "They don't get you. Jake was going to hurt me, wasn't he?"

"I really must go, Isabella." Aiden brushed past me. Sparks flew and little hairs prickled on the back of my neck. I grabbed his arm and heat surged through my body.

"Hades!"

Aiden turned. His lips parted. He stood so still. Impossibly still, like a statue, but so different from any of the marble sculptures I'd seen online. I searched his face for the man I fell in love with.

"The other Greek god. The one I wouldn't find in the stars," I mumbled.

"What about him?" Aiden asked. His voice was so soft it could have been a warm breeze. Even so, I shivered and wrapped my hands around myself.

"I should be scared to death right now, but I remember how you pushed a bathrobe from my shoulders, and how you looked at me, and how I brought you to your knees. I know you."

Aiden shook his head. His eyes glittered with unshed tears. "I'm sure you're mistaken."

"We're the same, monsters and all. We're both good and bad, and we're both very real. I protected my mother, and you protected me. I stole lemons and books, but you stole someone else's love, didn't you?"

I took another step toward him, close enough so I could have wrapped my arms around his shoulders. "You should go find Edward, Isabella," he warned.

I shook my head. "Why?"

"Because the man loves you."

"Does he?" I asked.

"He was there. Every touch, every laugh… _everything_, Isabella. You should go to him."

"I'm sorry, but I can't discuss this with Edward. He's not very Greek god savvy. He couldn't even find Cassiopeia. He didn't know... _Hades_. I know Hades. And I know how all those gods… _consorted_ with humans. I know how they sometimes broke humans' hearts."

I reached out and cradled Aiden's face in my hand. The lights flickered overhead.

"Isabella, I -"

I placed a finger over his lips and we both hissed on contact. His mouth was hot to the touch. How would we feel together if he were in his authentic form? Would I survive it?

"You were selfish," I murmured.

Aiden's Adam's apple bobbed in his throat. "Some might say unforgivable," he replied.

I shook my head. "I wouldn't use that word. Just like you said you understood me, I understand you."

"You couldn't."

"Would you deny me twice in a week, when I know how you feel?"

"But, Isabella -"

"What we shared may have been incredible, but I know it was real. It's how I knew _you_ were real. You're the most real thing to ever happen to me."

"Please," he begged.

With a shaking hand, I pulled something from my purse and handed it to Aiden. Once again, I'd found a reason to take something which wasn't mine. I'd pocketed the joke sketch, as the detective had called it, but I knew it was the unmistakable truth. Aiden swiftly unfolded the paper and gasped, dropping it from his hands like it was on fire. Wind blew through the bar, shaking the lights overhead, and blowing the sketch down the back hallway.

"When I saw the monster you've tried to hide, I knew my love right there on the page. You didn't give me the chance to accept you, but I found the chance. And I do. Aiden, Aides, whatever you call yourself, I lo-"

"Don't," he commanded, stepping away and sliding from my grasp.

"But why?" I begged.

"Some of us aren't worth it, Isabella."

"Even if I chose to believe that, it doesn't change what's happened. It could never change my heart."

Aiden reached for me and I relaxed into the warmth of his touch, his hands on my shoulders, sliding down my arms to my hips. "You deserve the sun, Isabella, not darkness. You deserve warmth instead of the cold. You don't deserve monsters or horrifying creatures pulling at your will day after day for all of eternity." He took a step backward and his hands slipped from my hips, but I reached for him and he let me hold his hands in mine. Aiden smiled and bit his lip. Tears slipped down my cheeks. "Besides, there are no novels to steal where I'm going. And no citrus for you to collect."

I laughed through the tears. "I knew it. My lo-"

Aiden pulled his hands from mine and pushed me away, keeping me at arms' length. "Please don't make this any more difficult than it already is."

"You're the one making it difficult! Let me tell you how I feel. Tell me the same. Let me show you. I'd do it here. Now."

Aiden's eyes burned like embers. "I really must go. Trust me. You'll be fine right here, where you belong." Aiden turned to leave once more.

"No!" I shouted. "Fine is _not_ good enough. Not when I know how perfect it is when I'm with you. Hades!"

Once again I was able to stop a god in his tracks. His stature seemed to grow as he turned, basking in his name.

"Hades," I murmured. It's how I would have said his name if I were naked in his arms. It's how I would have said his name when he shuddered inside me, spent and content.

"Hades," I whispered, going up on tiptoe. "My god," I whispered as I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close even though it felt like my heart might explode. If I died, I would die complete.

"My love," I whispered, my lips against his, sparking like flint against a match. Kissing Aiden was so different from kissing Edward. His arms were like bands around my body, and his lips left no doubt how he'd take charge of the situation. With his raw power he let me know exactly who I was kissing. My most absurd assumptions had been true. This was no dream. I met Hades in a bar in Los Angeles and he fell in love with me. I was the solitary object of his desire.

Yet, even as his physical body left me certain what was happening was real, at the same time I was held suspended above space and time in his arms, where I'd happily stay for eternity. Brick and Mortar dissolved and the sky melted, and we were the light in an infinity of darkness. We were the solitary star in the lonely sky.

His lips parted and his dark light washed over and around me; it penetrated every pore. He knew me, and I was the one human who really knew him back. I basked in his brilliance, bathed in his wordless, undeniable love, until we dissolved in a frisson of light.

xXxXx

With a blink I was back in Brick and Mortar, the same bar where I went to celebrate the launch of Angela's website, the same bar where I'd met Edward Cullen. Right, I'd come here to ask about Jake's death. I'd come here to ask about surveillance tapes and the bartender's name.

"Hey, where's Edward?" I asked Emmett and Rose.

"I think he's still in his office. You can go on back," Emmett replied with a nod of his head.

"Thanks," I said, and spun around, only to bump right into Edward. He grasped my hips to help hold me upright, but quickly let me go.

I laughed and felt my cheeks go warm. I didn't mind his touch at all, and wished I had an excuse for him to place his hands right back where they clearly belonged.

Glancing around nervously, I noticed we were in almost the exact same spot where we'd met just about two weeks ago. It seemed like a lifetime, really. Since then he'd followed me all over town, and then to my mom's house.

Edward smiled, but ducked his head like he was embarrassed. It was still difficult to believe he was smiling at me and I looked over my shoulder just to make certain. Alice was still sitting on DJ Jazzy's lap in the DJ booth. Emmett still had the invoices spread out on the bar in front of him, but he was holding Rose's hands and gazing into her eyes. And there was another man, a tall, dark and handsome type, walking out the front door.

"Bella?" Edward asked.

My heart fluttered in my chest. His voice was deep, and laced with uncertainty.

"Yes?" I replied.

Edward shifted from foot to foot, and plunged his hands deep in his pockets. "I was just about to call you, but then I thought I heard your voice, and here you are. Like magic."

"Nothing magic about it, really. I just drove and here I am." I giggled.

Edward raked a hand through his hair, and I had to hold myself back from doing the same. I wondered how would it feel to hold him in my arms and run my hands through his hair, yet I felt certain I already knew. It would feel divine.

I clutched the wall for support, remembering how I'd kissed Edward's cheek on the street… how long ago? A week? Two? How had I held myself back? I glanced over Edward's shoulder down the long, dark hallway. Maybe if I convinced him to take me back to his office where we could have some privacy, maybe then I could find the nerve to give it a try. Before I knew it, I was in front of Edward, reaching for his hand. He clasped my fingers securely in his. His other hand reached for me too, almost as if to go for my hip again, but he held himself back.

"You were about to call me?" I asked.

Edward smiled again. "Right. I, um, began reading _Order of the Phoenix_ like you asked, but you can't in all good conscience start with book five of a series. It would be like starting _The Odyssey_ with the tale of the cyclops."

I laughed. Edward's deep brown eyes sparkled.

"So, I went back to the beginning. I started over, and it made much more sense."

"It does seem sensible," I agreed.

"It does," he murmured, gazing into my eyes for just a second, before looking away.

I sighed. "So, um, what did you think?"

"About?"

"_Order of the Phoenix_, of course." I giggled. Something about this guy made me giggle like a fool.

Edward chuckled. "I can't think straight when you're near."

"I know the feeling," I agreed. "But really, about the book?"

Edward's smile dissolved, and he squeezed my hand in his. "Well, I couldn't help thinking of you as a little girl, reading to your dad about Siruis Black's death. About how his own death came so soon afterwards. I can't believe you entrusted your precious book to me. Thank you, Bella."

"Call me Isabella?" I asked.

Edward laughed a little. "Sure, um, _Isabella_. And then I was struck with how everyone's so isolated in _Order of the Phoenix_. It made me think about how you'd cut yourself off from your family, and how I've cut myself off from everyone in my life, except for Emmett."

"If it weren't for meeting you, Edward, I never would have reconciled with my Mom."

"And without you, Bel-... _Isabella_... Listen, this may sound crazy, but there's something about you. I've never gone after anyone like I've pursued you. All over Los Angeles, and then across state lines. I was practically stalking you."

"I didn't mind."

"Maybe you should have. I clearly wasn't in my right mind. Because from the moment we ran into one another, to the moment you kissed my cheek outside your mom's house, my whole life has changed. Is that crazy?"

"Just a little," I said, pulling him closer. "I'd been running for years until I ran into you."

"I owe you the truth," Edward murmured gazing down at me. "I'm a man of my word, and you deserve an explanation for my behavior."

"I don't know why I would have demanded it from you after just… how long?" I asked, trying to tick back through the days. They somehow all blended into one another. The only thing I was certain of was how familiar it felt being this close to Edward, how my body was naturally pulled into his orbit.

Edward cupped my cheek in his hand. "It feels like forever," he murmured. From the look in his eyes, I knew he wanted it to be. I wrapped my arms around Edward's waist until our bodies were flush and I could feel the rapid rise and fall of his chest against mine.

"We should wait until I've told you about my past," he rasped. "I want to do right by you, always."

I placed a finger over his lips, shushing him. "I've never been more certain of anything, Edward Cullen." And I went up on tiptoe and pressed my lips to his. Edward's arms tightened around me, molding my body to his. We stumbled until his back was against the wall. It was clearly too soon to say those three little words, but I tried my best to say it with my hands and my lips. To make my intentions clear. We may have lost ourselves as my hands roamed, then his... as my lips parted, then his.

"_One, two... one, two, three, four_!" Prince shouted from the speakers. Edward and I sprang apart.

"Wow," he mumbled, straightening my shirt and running a hand through his hair. (It felt just as amazing as I'd imagined, by the way).

"Yeah, whew! My God," I replied, rolling out my shoulders. I tried to inconspicuously look Edward over from head to toe. This was _definitely_ on.

"Gods, actually," Edward said with a laugh.

"What?"

"You know: Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades."

"Greek mythology? Really?" I asked.

"Am I outing myself as a nerd?" Edward's cheeks went pink as he looked everywhere but at me. The truth is, he'd outed himself with _The Odyssey_. Everything since then had been bonus nerd territory.

"Oddly enough, I kept myself awake all last night reading about the god of the underworld," I admitted. The coincidence was actually uncanny.

Edward beamed and found the will to look me in the eyes as he took my hand in his. "I just found this book about astronomy, Greek gods and constellations back in my office. Come with me? We could order in for dinner and look for the gods in the stars?"

"Did you really just say you'd show me the stars if I came with you?"

Edward cheeks went from pink to flaming red. "That's not what I-, I mean, we still need to talk before -"

"It's okay, Edward," I assured him with a chaste kiss on his cheek. "I'll take the stars however you want to show them to me." And I startled him by slipping my hand into his back pocket as we walked down the hall.

"What's this?" he asked, as he knelt to pick up a stray piece of paper in front of his office door. "Jesus," he muttered, holding it out for the both of us to see.

I shook my head and exhaled slowly. "One thing's for certain, Jesus has nothing to do with this."

In front of me was a picture of a monster with hollow cheeks, flaming eyes, and… were those horns? In the background shadows looked like they were wailing at the sky. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something about the drawing looked eerily familiar. Edward let go of it, but I kept it clasped in my hands.

"Listen, Bel-, _Isabella_," Edward began, one hand on the doorknob. "This might sound really corny, but I'm so excited to see where this goes. And by 'this', I mean me and you."

I giggled, because it's what I always did around Edward Cullen.

"I've never really been open and honest with anyone else before," he rasped.

"Me either," I agreed, looking up from the drawing of the monster, to the man by my side.

"And after the hell I've been through, I promise to be the best version of myself, so I'm almost worthy of you."

"It's okay, Edward," I murmured, wrapping my arms around his neck. "We all have monsters inside us. I'll accept yours if you accept mine."

"Deal," he agreed.

And with a quick kiss on the lips, I let him go so he could unlock his office door. I slipped the picture of the monster into my purse before I walked inside.

* * *

**A/N: Things aren't quite wrapped up in a neat little bow now, are they? I wouldn't do that to you during the holiday season. Look for a final chapter next Friday. Also, I'm super stoked to let you in on a little secret: FictionFreak95 and I have future plans. We've got some stories we'd like to share with you after this one is done. You can find a link to our brand new, joint account on my favorites tab. Xoxo… ~M**


	12. The Death

**Chapter 12 - The Death**

People say your life flashes before your eyes the moment before you die. I would say we're always dying, and the flash is our life. We live, we love; and in a second, it's over. Time stretches infinitely on either side of our miniscule existence. It's our duty to make the most of the sliver of life we're given, the only time we have to appreciate the world around us and the people we share it with.

Edward understood this intuitively. I was the one who was more likely to get sidetracked. When I'd become overwhelmed with work deadlines, or consumed with worry for one of the kids, or just enraged by the state of the world, Edward would pull me upstairs to the roof and lay me down on the chaise underneath the stars.

"Tell me their story," he'd whisper in my ear. I knew this game well, and it worked nearly every time. My challenge was to try my best to keep my voice steady as he trailed soft kisses down my neck.

"Capricornus is considered the first constellation," I murmured softly, beginning at the beginning, as he pinned my hands over my head and rained kisses over my breasts.

"Orion was a hunter. He took all the credit for the skill of his hounds, Canis Major, and Canis Minor." I ended his story in a fit of giggles, as Edward left lingering kisses across my ticklish ribs.

"Cassiopeia hangs suspended for eternity," I rasped.

"- Because her beauty rivaled only yours," Edward continued, as he spread my legs and fit himself between them.

"Hades," I'd finally moan, my head thrown back, Edward's head between my thighs. If I managed to hold out, our game ended with the most recent constellation to be named. Edward always made sure it ended as I came.

Hades was my greatest accomplishment. He lay just north of Libra, the daughter of justice, righteously presiding over departed souls for eternity. He'd always deserved a place amongst his brothers, nieces and nephews, and eventually the International Astronomical Union agreed with me, and the night sky was re-divided.

Afterwards, Edward and I would lay tangled in one another's arms, and we'd spill whatever was on our minds. Calm and contented, it's where we hashed out our biggest decisions, underneath the infinite, timeless light of the stars. It's where Edward asked me to marry him. It's where I helped convince him to sell his nightclubs to Emmett and Jasper so he could concentrate on his art. It's where he convinced me to go back to school, and to eventually go for my PhD. It's probably where we conceived our daughter, and definitely where we conceived our son.

It's where Edward and I talked about what he wanted for his funeral. It was where our daughter found me sobbing after our family and friends left for the night.

"You should come inside, Mom," she insisted. "It's chilly up here."

"I'm not cold," I said, wiping at my eyes. It was true. I couldn't feel a thing.

"You shouldn't be alone." She knelt before me and wrapped me in her shawl. I saw Edward in her big brown eyes, and the gentle way she tried her best to take care of me.

"I'm not alone," I replied, gazing skyward. With our daughter before me and the night sky overhead, I'd always have Edward. Not to mention, I had the entire Greek pantheon for company.

The stars glittered in their place, helping to put everything in perspective, just like they always had. I remembered the first time I walked into Edward's office back at Brick and Mortar. I gasped, gaping at the exacting detail of the night sky he'd painted on the ceiling.

"I didn't know you were an artist," I murmured, slowly spinning to take it all in.

"I wouldn't call myself that," he demurred, raking a hand through his hair.

"What would you call yourself, then?" I asked.

Edward took a deep, steadying breath. "Mentally ill," he admitted, taking a seat as far away from me as possible.

Edward had been so frightened that evening, yet so determined to tell me about his history. He'd lost years of his life to delusions he was a monster. Sometimes he thought he was a vampire, but whatever form his delusions took, he was always a dangerous killer. He shook as he told me about the people he'd hurt and the lives lost to violence and drugs. How, even after he'd managed to get hold of his illness, he didn't trust himself around others. He hid himself away, sticking mostly to his home and his office, relegated himself to sailing alone under the light of the stars. Until, one night, Emmett saw something in me and convinced Edward to spend some time in his bar.

"Honestly, I think you deserve better, Isabella," he said gravely, underneath the shadow of the night sky he'd painted.

"Would you let me be the judge of that?" I asked, moving from my chair to the couch by his side.

He scooted away from me. "You should take some time to think it over."

"I already have." I cradled the back of his head in my hand and pulled his face to mine. I took a deep, steadying breath, my forehead against his. "If I had any doubts, they were put to rest when I saw this sky of yours. I'm choosing Los Angeles, my friends Rose and Angela, the sunshine and the stars. But more than anything, Edward, I'm choosing you."

It was the first of many nights we made out under Edward's hand-painted stars, grappling with one another's clothing until we tumbled gracelessly onto his fluffy, white rug. My heart hammered in my chest as Edward let me pin him beneath me and pull his shirt over his head. I knew I'd made the right decision, because everything about our first night together felt life-changing and familiar all at once. Like once, long ago, I'd lived this life, and it was a good one.

Later, sated and calm, I rested my head on Edward's chest as he held me in his arms.

"The LAPD is probably going to give you a call," I murmured, tracing random swirls over Edward's abdomen as I gazed at his night sky.

"What?" he asked, as his hand wandered from my waist, over my hip, then hitched my thigh over his.

"I spent the night in the bar when I couldn't find you," I explained breathlessly, finding friction against his hip. "Where were you?"

Edward tipped my head so he could gaze into my eyes. "I thought I was in hell, but my psychiatrist reminded me how I'm my own worst enemy. He convinced me to go after you."

"Wow. I owe your doctor a lot."

"I truly don't pay him enough," Edward mumbled, as his fingertips ticked up over my ribs slowly, one at a time, until he had my breast in his hand. Edward let me pull him on top of me so I could gaze at him and see the stars, and it reminded me of a lost memory - something that never happened. I wondered if I'd dreamed about this moment, with my legs wrapped around his waist, his chest pressed against mine, as the night sky glittered around us.

"I promise I'll always work to make myself worthy of you, Isabella. To make the most of every minute you give me." he murmured, cradling my face in his hand.

"Call me Bella," I begged, my voice ragged, on edge.

"Fuck, yes, my Bella."

Edward kept his promise. He devoted his life to his children, his family, and his art, in that order. And with spare, stolen moments he volunteered with art therapy programs for the homeless and the mentally ill. He helped Diana forgive her brother countless times, and helped Adrien to find the will to apologize, to Diana, to me, to our neighbors - also countless times. And each night, he'd take my hand and bring us to bathe in the light of the stars. Each night he'd remind me he loved me.

I never doubted I'd made the right choice - even when Edward nagged me about the way I'd still occasionally steal a random lemon, or chocolates from the bulk bin at the grocery store. He loved my imperfections. I took his monsters and he took mine.

In all our years together, I kept just one secret from the man: I knew who was responsible for my step-brother's death. I knew why they'd never find the person Angela described to the police. And I devoted my professional life to finding out all I could about the person responsible.

xXxXx

Diana had taken to spending the nights at our home in the hills north of Los Angeles. I still called it 'our home'. It would always be our home - from the moment Edward carried me over the threshold, to those first blissful, sun-soaked moments with Diana and Adrien, bundled in blankets, to prom night photos, to visits from the police about Adrien and graffiti, or Adrien and shoplifting, until the moment of Edward's death.

This particular night, the sky was clearer than I'd seen it in months and the wintery air was cold and crisp. It was perfect star-gazing weather. It was the kind of night Edward and I would have spent hours on the rooftop, telling one another our hopes and our dreams.

"Would you help me up to the roof, dear?" I asked Diana. My knees weren't as strong as they used to be. My legs weren't as steady.

"You can see the stars from the window, mom," she protested, but I was stubborn. I folded my arms across my chest and waited. I didn't want anything standing between their light and my skin.

"Fine, Mom," Diana grumbled. "Just let me finish loading the dishwasher?"

She was patient as I struggled up the steep stairs. She didn't say a word as I paused to catch my breath midway. She had patience only rivaled by her father's. Once on the roof, she helped get me settled, plumping pillows and tucking a blanket around me.

"Would you like some tea?" she asked. "Something warm?"

"I'm fine," I assured her, trying to keep my wheezing at bay so she wouldn't worry.

"I'll get you some anyway, mom. I don't want you to catch a cold. I'll be right back. Don't do anything crazy."

"Such as?" I asked. I was an old woman. My crazy days were long past.

She narrowed her eyes. "Like trying to sing falsetto at the end of Kiss," she said.

Right. The last time had ended in a fit of coughing.

When I was certain Diana had finally left me alone, I carefully slid to my knees and pulled open the bottom drawer of the storage unit we kept up there. Behind pruning shears and packages of seeds, behind discarded terra cotta planters and plant food, I'd stashed a small safe. My fingers shook as I twirled the dial and my heart hammered in my chest when I heard the click of the lock unlatching.

The paper was slightly yellowed, worn at the edges, ridged down the middle from all the time it spent folded in a small square at the bottom of my purse. With it clutched in my hand, I tried to pull myself back to my feet, but my chest and my knees protested. Instead, I pulled the blanket down to the floor with me and leaned against the chaise for support.

With a shaking hand I held the fading sketch up to the night sky. His stars glittered dull red, brighter than I'd seen them since Edward's death. They shined brightly enough for me to see them through the paper in my hands, lighting his eyes, brightening his teeth. He'd been my angel. My guiding light.

With a blink, it all began to fade. Tears slipped over my cheeks as the flash of a happy life finally flickered its last. At the end, I closed my eyes and said his name.

xXxXx

"Hades."

xXxXx

I found myself in a small boat on a calm, black river. My chest rose and fell effortlessly. Painlessly. A starless, black sky stretched to infinity overhead. Glancing around, I noticed the little boat was an exact replica of the Dawn Treader from my childhood backyard. A haggard man with hollow cheeks guided us across the water with a crooked pole. I was a young woman, draped in a long, white, peplos that fell to my ankles.

I shivered, half remembering a dream from long ago.

I pulled an ancient coin from between my lips and handed it to the old ferryman. "Hi, Charon," I said. "Nice day for a sail. You wouldn't happen to know where I could find-"

My breath caught in my throat when I heard yapping from the shore. A small, three-headed dog turned in circles, his tail wagging a mile a minute. I practically leapt from the boat.

"Where's your master?" I asked, kneeling next to Cerberus and scratching behind one set of his ears.

He practically knocked me over in his excitement, jumping to lick my face.

"Cerberus!" A deep voice thundered overhead. Cold wind rushed through the air around me. The hound obediently settled on his haunches and Charon set out for the opposite shore. I was cast in shadow and it felt as if ice ran through my veins as goosebumps trembled to life on my bare arms. With a deep breath I found the courage to look up from the ground at my feet.

He was tall, with a broad chest and strong arms. His cheekbones were prominent, his nose long and straight. His black hair hung in loose waves past his ears. His eyes were like flames in the infinite darkness. His smile set my heart on fire.

"Isabella," he whispered and his voice was the air around me.

Cerberus whined and thumped his tail on the ground.

"It's as if you raised him from a pup," Hades said.

I smiled at him as I stood. "I've always had a way with hounds, you know."

Hades beamed. "I remember it well."

"You have a beautiful world here," I said, gazing up at the great elm, covered with the lost hopes and forgotten desires of all the souls on earth.

"Beautiful? Most would say otherwise."

"Maybe most people don't appreciate what they've been given."

"And you do?" he asked.

"I've been waiting my whole life to thank you for what I was given. And now this?" I asked, looking around at the vast, unbounded space. "It's more wonderful than I could have imagined. And I did. I dreamed of your home every night before I went to sleep. Every time I looked up at the stars. I wasn't certain I'd see this place, though. I thought maybe I'd find myself in Tartarus... all things considered." I ducked my head, awash with a fresh wave of remorse for taking my step-father's life.

"We all have monsters inside us, Isabella. They're not a measure of your heart."

"I said almost the same exact thing once to -"

"Edward," Hades said grimly.

"Yes. My husband. Is he here?" I asked, slightly ashamed of the hope I heard in my voice.

"He was, for a time. Fate found another purpose for his soul."

I wasn't surprised. "I suppose he was too good to keep away from humanity. I was lucky to have him for one life, at least."

"He was a dear friend," Hades admitted, with a far away look in his eyes.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Leave it to Edward to befriend -"

"Say it." The words reverberated in the air around us. Hades stood impossibly still, his mouth slightly open, his hands fisted at his sides.

"Hades," I whispered, and felt a smile blooming across my face. "Hades, I've dreamed of this moment."

"How could you?" he asked.

"I owe you my life. Edward's life. The lives of our children."

"Diana looks just like you," he said, smiling down at me.

"Yes, like me, but with Edward's eyes. And then, Adrien…" my voice trailed off and I shook my head.

"I can't wait to meet the little devil," Hades said with a mischievous glint in his eye.

I shuddered, but it would be cause for concern for another time.

"Would you show me your world?" I asked, taking Hades hand in mine. The Styx flashed gold, then green. The sky flickered overhead. Our hands glowed where they touched. It was almost like a dream I had once about holding Edward's hand as we drove up through the mountains.

Hades and I walked silently through rolling green hills of Elysium, the neverending sands of the Asphodel Meadows, and over the deep pools of despair in the Mourning Fields.

"Where's Tartarus?" I asked.

"You desire to visit such a wretched place?"

"Of course! I spent half my life studying your realm. Without Tartarus, what's the point, really?"

Hades squeezed my hand as he gazed down at me. "There's somewhere I'd like to show you first. A place which hasn't yet been recorded in your books, or on your infernal electronic devices."

A large door appeared before us, remarkably similar to the door to Edward's office back at Brick and Mortar so long ago. I blinked and we were inside a large cavernous space. The ground underneath our feet was hard-packed desert sand, sloping to a small circle of chairs around a flickering fire. As I gazed skyward, a universe twinkled to light overhead, each star in its appropriate spot, glimmering as brightly as they did in the Arizona sky.

Tears pricked my eyes. "What is this place?" I asked in a whisper.

"I call it Nyx. She hasn't quite forgiven me for taking her name, but it seemed appropriate I bring you the heavens, Isabella, just as you brought them to me."

The shadow of a memory slipped through my mind. A sundress falling, my bare back against a wall, scratchy movie theater seats. My hands held over my head as black eyes made me blush.

"Would you allow me to tell you the story of the stars?" I asked with a shaky voice, somehow certain this had all happened before. I nodded toward the lawn chairs by the fire.

"I'd like nothing more."

With a PhD in the mythology of the skies, I could talk about the constellations forever. Maybe I did. I had all the time in the world. Hades held my hand, listening with rapt attention, as I started at the beginning with Capricornus, and finished with the last group of stars to be named. It had been the first new constellation in almost three hundred years.

"Aidoneus," I said in a hush. "God of the dead and king of the underworld. He's seen in the night sky just north of justice, because he's the most even-handed of his siblings. After he defeated Cronus with his brothers, he was given dominion over the dead. The earth is available to all three brothers, but Aidoneus remains in his realm… _usually_," I said, sneaking a glance at the god by my side.

I shuddered, and the fire before us flared, it's flames flickering suddenly brighter and warmer. Hades' eyes remained heavenward, so I followed suit. I could bask in the glow of the stars forever, but on earth I hardly had half the time I would have liked for it.

"Wait," I said, catching a glimpse of shimmering light between Cassiopeia and Andromeda. "Which stars are those?" I asked, pointing at a small cluster glittering in a dusky shade of pink.

"Those stars are for you," he murmured, and faint lines glimmered, stringing them together until they took the form of a slender woman holding a heart in her hands, gazing overhead. "Because you were right. You taught the god of the underworld a thing or two, just like you said you would."

I remembered dimly, leaving Edward in his office with that promise... Although it _wasn't_ really Edward. The man looked like my husband, but his eyes were like fire. I gazed back overhead and the little pink cluster sparkled back at me.

"What a lovely sentiment," I murmured.

"It's no sentiment, Isabella," Hades said. His voice shook the ground.

"I know each of the constellations," I began to argue.

I blinked and Hades and I were standing, facing one another with both my hands clasped in his, awash in starlight. "They're as real as you and I. Their light simply hasn't made its way to earth just yet. I'll leave it to your great grandchildren to find their name. They'll know it in their bones, as sure as I know you. _Isabella_."

After minutes, or days, or years, Hades gently tugged my arm. "You said you wanted to see my entire kingdom?" he asked.

"Oh, yes! Tartarus, of course."

Hades led me back through the office door and another vast room opened before us. Across from the doorway was a wall of bookshelves stretching heavenward as far as the eye could see, and infinitely in either direction. Underneath our feet was a fluffy, white rug, more substantial than a cloud, but softer than down. Overhead, the stars were hand painted with painstaking care. In the middle of the room lay a large bed, and on a table by its side was a large bowl of lemons.

"They aren't yours," Hades said with a low chuckle. "But I'm certain you'll take them as you please."

"This isn't Tartarus either," I murmured. I couldn't take my eyes off the bed, with four posters like gilded wings, and thick white bedding threaded with golden strands of silk.

"I have no expectations for your afterlife, Isabella," Hades said.

Willing my feet to move, I walked across the room and trailed my fingers over a row of books, reading their titles on the spines. There were the ancient texts Edward prefered; _The Iliad_ and _The Odyssey_, and tomes by Dante and Chaucer. I spotted all my favorites, from _The Chronicles of Narnia_, to T_o Kill a Mockingbird_, to _Crime and Punishment_, to each book in the Harry Potter series. I eagerly pulled _Order of the Phoenix_ off the shelf.

The pages had been meticulously earmarked with brightly colored post-it notes. When I opened to a page at random, entire passages had been underlined with pencil and there were notes written in Greek in the margins.

I smiled up at the god before me. "Obsessed much?" I asked.

The god of the underworld shrugged, and gazed toward his feet. Was he blushing? "There are moments of my existence I enjoy revisiting from time to time."

I glanced around me, from the rug beneath my feet, to the wall of books, to the lemons, to the bed. "Where are we?"

Hades stole a glance in my direction. "I call it Sylphium. It's my heart."

"Oh, Hades," I said, discarding the book on the table and taking his hands in mine.

"Would you say it again?" he asked breathlessly, and this time the words came from his mouth, instead of the air around me. He held my face in his hands, the burning embers of his eyes filled with love.

"Hades," I said, going up on tiptoe. "My god," I murmured, wrapping my arms around him and holding him close. "My love," I whispered, my lips against his.

"I said there were no expectations, Isabella."

"But I didn't."

In one fluid motion his lips closed over mine, our clothing fell away, and we were the heat from my stars rushing through the darkness of time and space, bursting from Sylphium, lighting the universe with our love. We were the birth of a new star, and in the flash of its creation I saw a life lived over the course of weeks. I saw a first dance, and a first kiss. I saw Edward's office, and felt how close to death a second kiss took me. I saw Poseidon stalking the two of us, and Hades's frantic escape. I saw laughter on a beach, and all-consuming love pouring from his eyes as I took him gently on a balcony, and all the not so gentle times afterwards. His unshed tears in a planetarium, his declaration of love in his office, and the tender emotions written on his face when he said goodbye. I saw him as Edward, and I saw him as Aiden, and when we took a moment and took a breath as I stood naked in his arms in the heart of the underworld, I saw him as Hades.

"I knew it," I whispered, pushing a strand of hair behind his ear. "It was always you."

"My goddess," he murmured, sinking to his knees before me.

"My god," I replied, kneeling on the rug with him, taking his hands in mine. "I knew you loved me."

"Forever," Hades whispered. "For always. Until the end of time."

The moment stretched forever. It was. We were, just as I'd always somehow known we would be.

Later, entwined in one another's arms, I glanced around me at the books and the bed, then toward the door where an infinite kingdom lay, and where within a dark cavern, I could see the light of our stars. Aidoneus and Isabella, alight in the sky.

"What now?" I asked Hades.

"Of course," he said, sitting and reaching for his robe. "We should find you a home. You have the entire underworld to choose from. If nothing feels suitable, I can create a new realm built to your liking."

"What?" I asked, gazing at the god by my side. I wasn't ready for my robe, let alone another home.

"Most would choose the fields of Elysium, but it's inhabitants tend to be a bit too exacting for my taste. Then again, I can't imagine choosing Asphodel Meadows. Those infernal, tiny grains of -"

"Hades!" I said, and he fell silent, one arm in, and one arm out of his robe. "I made my choice once upon a time, in a bar in Los Angeles."

"But -"

"No," I said, pulling his robe from his shoulder, then laying my hands over his chest. "I waited a long human life for this moment. I won't choose Elysium, or Asphodel, or even Tartarus. Hades, my god, I choose you. I always have."

Hades blinked, and for a moment, his eyes were full of regret. "It was true?" he asked. "You knew what you were asking me so many years ago?"

"Of course, my love," I murmured, climbing onto his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. I kicked the robe across the room for good measure.

Hades took my face in his hands. "I'm so sorry I didn't listen when I had the chance. To think of the time I wasted."

"No apologies, Hades. Without your sacrifice I wouldn't have led the life I did - a relationship with my mother, an amazing husband who cherished me, beautiful children, a career I wouldn't have dreamed of. Without you, I would never have thought to write your name in the stars, something you've always deserved. Your decision was right and just, but now the time for self sacrifice is over."

"What are you saying?" he asked. "I just want to be sure."

"You are my home, Aidoneus. If you'll have me."

"Forever," he said.

And he was a god, afterall, so it was done.

~Fin~

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**A/N: Thanks a million to SereneInNC for her beta skills. Thanks a billion to everyone in our Facebook group who keep us laughing, even through the tears. Thanks a gazillion to each of you who took time to write a review... And, to Jo, there aren't enough thanks in the world... I'm forever grateful to you for inviting me into your world and asking me to write this fic. This isn't the end, it's the beginning of something beautiful.**

**If you're interested in what we'll write next, you can follow/favorite our joint account, Belladonna and The Fiction Freak. It's link is in my bio. If I don't see you before then, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year! May 2020 be filled with Justice, Peace, and Love. xoxo… ~M**


	13. The Discovery

**Chapter 13 - The Discovery**

"Wait, you're saying my husband was an _actual _vampire when we met?"

"You're walking a three headed dog on a leash through the underworld, and the existence of vampires shocks you?"

"Next thing I know you're going to tell me my step-brother Jake was a werewolf."

"No comment."

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**A/N: Call this the first outtake... Because I couldn't stop giggling after these lines popped into my head. Merry Christmas, y'all.**


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